WHY HUMANITY NEEDS GUYS
Guys are always trying stuff.
Key Quote from a Veteran Police Officer Who Has No Doubt Seen a Lot of Stuff Tried: "Never in my 13 years have I seen anything like this."
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August 07, 2005
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Can it be? First?
Posted by: arthussy | August 07, 2005 at 07:59 PM
It's true; guys are always trying. I'm just not clear on why we need that.
Arthussy - it pays to be a hussy; I hear they often get there first :)
Posted by: Maud | August 07, 2005 at 08:08 PM
He was allegedly severely intoxicated
Allegedly?!?!?!?
Posted by: slyeyes | August 07, 2005 at 08:14 PM
OW!
Yes, Slyeyes: I would be more shocked if he weren't intoxicated.
Posted by: Andy | August 07, 2005 at 08:20 PM
someone needs to explain the concept of chastity belt to him and his buddy. on a guy, that ain't what you lock up :)
Posted by: sj | August 07, 2005 at 08:28 PM
Would this be an example of a dreadlock? Or a deathlock? Or a himlock? Or was the entire thing just a failed himlock maneuver?
The dude is probably the sort who'd go to Mr Goodwrench to have his n*ts tightened.
Posted by: Stupendous Man | August 07, 2005 at 08:29 PM
My italicizer got stuck.
Posted by: Stupendous Man | August 07, 2005 at 08:32 PM
Posted by: Stupendous Man | August 07, 2005 at 08:33 PM
The hospital reported that the man was treated and released without sustaining lasting injury.
What, no wounded pride?
Posted by: KOW | August 07, 2005 at 08:33 PM
Your italicizer got stuck, SU? Huh, that ain't nothing;I heard about a guy whose...oh, wait, that's where we came in.
Posted by: Maud | August 07, 2005 at 08:42 PM
I can't even get my italicizer to work...
Posted by: Chris | August 07, 2005 at 08:48 PM
Acceptance is the first step to recovery, Chris.
Posted by: Marvin | Paranoid Android | August 07, 2005 at 09:02 PM
Some things should be locked up. Down under, so to speak.
Posted by: Robert F.T.W. | August 07, 2005 at 09:07 PM
...and kudos to the on-the-job technophile who fixed the blog clock!
Posted by: Robert F.T.W. | August 07, 2005 at 09:08 PM
The hospital reported that the man was treated and released without sustaining lasting injury.
No lasting injury??? *crosses legs in a male involuntary protective gesture*
Awww....nuts...
Posted by: tropichunt.com guy™ | August 07, 2005 at 09:08 PM
...as posted by Punkin Poo on 8/5. Oh, well. I guess a story like this should only naturally be posted twice.
Posted by: M.C. | August 07, 2005 at 09:14 PM
Okay, but two weeks? I mean, I'm not like, a guy or anything, but I have to think that around about maybe day three you might want to think about doing something about that.
Posted by: daisyj | August 07, 2005 at 09:21 PM
Corporal Wood ?
Posted by: insomniac | August 07, 2005 at 09:33 PM
"I told you I needed LOCK NUTS on the bottom of my SHOCK !!!! Not the bottom of my *ock !!!
Posted by: Sean | August 07, 2005 at 09:34 PM
Not only "Cpl. Wood," but "Cpl. H.D. Wood," pronounced "Hard Wood."
Posted by: bbescuela | August 07, 2005 at 09:57 PM
Doctor: Nurse can you call the locksmith we have a case of the family jewels being locked up.
Nurse: Is this a normal padlock or a Master-lock?
Doctor: It doesn't matter, just call my cousin Fred he'll get a laugh out of this! Tell him to bring a hack saw and a crowbar.
Posted by: From Another World | August 07, 2005 at 10:14 PM
A hacksaw and a crowbar? I guess that's better than a cold chisel and a sledge hammer.
Posted by: Ernie G | August 07, 2005 at 10:28 PM
...or an oxyacetylene torch.
Posted by: Ernie G | August 07, 2005 at 10:29 PM
oh duh. a member of morons r us.
Posted by: queensbee | August 07, 2005 at 11:04 PM
padlocked scrotum => so muddle crackpot
padlocked family jewels => joy! well-placed fame kids
Posted by: just sayin' | August 07, 2005 at 11:20 PM
I wonder...Dave...can you try padlocking your oosik?
BTW, as a follow-up to Judi's posting about why humanity DOESN'T need guys...I think he has another burger called the 'testiculer...'
Posted by: tropichunt.com guy™ | August 07, 2005 at 11:59 PM
Guys, We'd all be a lot safer if we just kept our nuts up by our lungs like our iguana friends, no?
Posted by: Brad | August 08, 2005 at 01:45 AM
Locksmith:"I didn't sign up for this."
Posted by: duffer | August 08, 2005 at 10:10 AM
The locksmith charged double his normal fee, to free two nuts costs twice as much.
Posted by: Jessica R. | August 08, 2005 at 10:21 AM
daisyj got the relevant point: I don't care how drunk he was, he walked around with a padlock on his nuts for two week?!?! WTF?
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | August 08, 2005 at 11:25 AM
Just exactly how drunk do you have to be to keep those things on your nuts for two weeks before noticing that something might be, er, amiss?
And having drunk all that booze, wouldn't he have had to pee alot, and wouldn't trying to pee with that thing clamping down on his balls not have been his first clue?
Posted by: Lmd33 | August 08, 2005 at 07:00 PM
I wonder if the padlock company would use that as a testimonial?
Posted by: Shannon | August 12, 2005 at 07:06 AM