WE COULDN'T HAVE SAID IT BETTER OURSELVES

Thanks to bruce, who says, "Occasionally, a story like this crops up that reminds me that the Atlantic is a very, very wide ocean."

NOTE: It goes without saying that The Vegetable Approach WBAVGNFARB

Comments

[Mahatma Kane Jeeves]

At least it wasn't a cucumber . . .

[Chianca At Large]

Uh-oh. I just brought three garden zucchini into work and they were snatched up by zucchini-crazed co-workers in about three minutes flat. What does that say about my workplace?

[Bumble]

If someone gave me a motivational cabbage that I could only pass on after completing a task, I'd tell them where to go and then make coleslaw, which I would proceed to dump on their desk as I hate coleslaw.

[Funny Name]

On a related note (same food group) I just received the following press release, which was full of typos & non-functioning attachments. Enjoy!

I wanted to drop you a quick line to fill you in on a trend that is hitting the States and catching on like wild fire....
I'll give you a few hints...
1) The item that I am about to introduce you to is exotic and has the potential to become the hottest selling item in it's category.
2) This item will sooth your stomach, keep your skin looking young and keep your digestive track in check.
3) This item has doubled in consumption over the past decade.
Can't figure out which super food I'm talking about?
MEXICAN MANGOS have become the trendiest way to keep the doctor away!
With such amazing health benefits, you can't help but savor a mango. Indulge yourself in the additional information I've attached and feel free to contact me with any questions. I'd love to help you cook up a story for your readers to enjoy!
Best,
Robyn
<> <>

[crossgirl]

chianca, it says that you work with very lonely women.

[queensbee]

oh, that poor overlooked vegetable, the rutabaga. sob.
vegetable tellers wbagnfarb

[insomniac]

the bank president is a vegetarian who saw 'The Godfather' the night before...

[Bumble]

Don't do it, Funny Name! When I was little I told my mother I wanted to try a mango because they were in my Curious George book. Turns out they are disgusting. judi, can we see Dave's column about Mango Poop? Unless you are busy finding us semi-naked men. I understand there are higher priorities. :-)

[judi]

sorry, it's from 1989 so there's no URL to post. if you have "dave barry talks back" at home, though, it's in there. title of the piece is 'licking the drug problem' and it's on p. 78.

[Minnesota Vegetable Council]

You can fry 'em, you can slice 'em
Either way you oughta try some
Bananas!
They are great with coconut or
chocolate sauce or peanut butter
Bananas!
Oh, bananas have it all
They make berries seem banal
From Montana to Mobile
Have bananas with your meal
They're the answer - what a deal!
All your troubles seem to vanish with
Bananas!

[MOTW]

Too bad there's no corresponding course on Defense Against Vegetables, although Bumble's idea has merit. Selfdefense Against Fruit

[KOW]

I would love to have been a fly on the wall at the meeting where this brilliant idea was proposed. Now, if someone put a bottle of liquor or a box of chocolates on my desk, then we're talking motivation. But vegetables?

[MOTW]

Dang! judi's a super-fast research assistant to the on-hiatus for an undetermined amount of time humor columnist today. Kudos and chocolate to you, Lady!

[Leetie]

Mangoes disgusting??? You've obviously never mixed them in a blender with rum.

[Amy]

Ha! Cabbages? Cauliflowers?

At least the banker wasn't sitting behind the desk munching on this!

WARNING WARNING WARNING before you click!!!

[Bumble]

Thanks judi. I do indeed have that book. :-)

[shredder]

Amy,
One of those should have been used on the "kicked in the balls" T-shirt. "Balls", said the queen. "If I had'em I'd be King."

[Bumble]

Leetie, I was young enough to be reading Curious George at the time. I don't suppose it occurred to mom to let me try them with rum. Besides, at that age I would have thought rum was gross, too.

[Christobol]

"So we'd like to apologize for our vegetable related motivational efforts, they were completely out of line."

"Thank you."

"And you're fired. Get your pathetic ass out of here before we have you arrested."

"Really?"

"Yes. You idiot. We may not be able to put a vegetable on your sensitive little desk, but we can terminate you, for, among other things, being such a lousy employee that we spend time thinking up creative ways to motivate you. Bye-bye now."

"Dang."

[VictoriaE77]

The sad part is they hired a motivational company to think this idea up to the tune of $100,000 instead of giving the overworked tellers a raise.

[Eric Ewanco]

OK, would someone please kindly explain:

1) Why the vegetables were so offensive;
2) Why the company thought that vegetables would be motivational?

Somehow I get the idea (from the headline) that the vegetables have something to do with humiliation, but I have no clue why.

Or is this just something that none of us understand and are just having a ball laughing about its absurdity? (well undoubtedly that is why it's funny in the first place, but ...)

I'm tempted to ask one of my Scottish co-workers. Unfortunately I don't know them well enough to feel entirely comfortable querying them.

[insomniac]

exTeller: Oh no! I just got a head of cabbage dumped on my desk! Just like my last job!

neighbo(u)r: Dude, it's a cooking class.

[Eleanor]

At first I thought there was some sexual innuendo involved (but don't I always!), but now I'm as confused as Eric!

But in some way or another, it's BAD!!!

[YFNRW]

Eric
1) Whereas baseball pitchers seem to favor cabbages, bank employees do not. They were offended, as the article clearly stated, because the dunce caps were stuffed with cabbage leaves.
2) The company thought vegetables would be motivational because it's the highlight of this diagram. (this, too)

[MOTW]

MKJ - At least it wasn't a cucumber . . .
What's wrong with cucumbers?

[Somewhere North]

Cabbage motivates me to go to the bathroom. Beans too. I'm glad they didn't put cabbage and beans on my desk or I'd assume they were telling me to take lots of breaks.

[judi]

i asked the scottish lord greg if he could explain this item to me, and he said:

Yeah - apparently it's been done in other countries to try and motivate underperforming staff as a sort of booby prize. However it's illegal in the UK hence the bollocking those managers are getting.

so, we still don't have a clue.

[Eleanor]

Thanks for trying, judi! :)

[Christobol]

judi -

i ran that message through babelfish's scottish lord gred --> American Standard English translator. It came up with:

"Yeah. Listen, judi, I love you deeply. Let's stop all this yarnmanglefishmonkey and runaway together for soup."

So, just thought you should know.

[Monster from the Id]

Did this really happen or did Monty Python get back together and write this?

Also:

"RUTA-BAYYYY-AYYYY-GA-RUTA-BAYYYY-AYYYY-GA-RUTA-BAYYYY-AYYYY-GA-RUTA-BAYYYY-AYYYY-GA-RUTA-BAYYYY-AYYYY-GA!"

It sounds like the people who thought this nonsense up are the real vegetables. OTOH, "The Motivational Vegetables" WBAGNFARB!

Vegging out, Monster from the Id

[Monster from the Id]

Dangit, I guess I gotta write it this way:

RUTA-BAYYYY-AYYYY-GA/
RUTA-BAYYYY-AYYYY-GA/
RUTA-BAYYYY-AYYYY-GA/
RUTA-BAYYYY-AYYYY-GA/
RUTA-BAYYYY-AYYYY-ga.

From Zappa's "Call Any Vegetable".---MftI

[judi]

this is probably my favorite item ever blogged on the blog. i love looking at the picture of the cabbage and the cauliflower on the banker's desk.

[qetzal]

judi,

I agree that's a great picture.

But what the h*ll is that next picture? The "X" with the four dots? Maybe scottish lord greg (or is it scottish lord gred?) can help?