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August 24, 2005

URGENT BRITNEY SPEARS BULLETIN UPDATE

According to our sources, Britney's husband -- or one of Britney's husbands, anyway -- has been seen carrying a book.

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say it ain't so Brittany knows some one who owns or at least isn't ashamed to be seen carrying a book


oh what a world!

Rest easy, everyone. The article states that he was *carrying* the book . . . not actually READING it.

Kevin and Deepac. Makes my head hurt just thinking about it.

He probably misread the cover and thought it was written by Tupac, and that it held the secrets to being gangsta cool...

well, then i guess he will be able to read 'my pet goat' to their child - unless of course it is just a literacy skills test.
would anybody really miss any of these jerks if they got lost in the next tsunami or something? just askin...

Some one who can read: Sound it out..
Kevin: Th....the.....c..K...cu....ca...cat

Queensbee: I wouldn't really miss them, no. However, they do make for some good comic fodder.

Remember when you were a kid, and you got upset when your parents said "I wouldn't miss any of those long-haired hippie rockers if a tornado sucked them up and took them away?" Well, its kids who'd miss silly people like Britney and and the rest of the crew. We're just caught in the Great Generational Vortex, doing the things our parents did that we swore we'd never do. What goes around, comes around, I guess.

perhaps in his next life Kfed can come back as a higher form of life, like Pamela Anderson's chihuahua...

Dipak Chopra is here to help the 92 IQ crowd feel smart. But I thought the most interesting thing on that page was Jennifer Garner's veiled suggestion that Ben Affleck scratches his crotch and quips "How do like them apples?" after passing gas.

I would just like to say that I'm glad I'm only famous in my own mind. I'd probably be publicly executed if people knew about all the different kinds of books I read. Look, just because I own The Communist Manifesto doesn't mean I'm keen on standing in bread lines...I just want to know what I'm talking about before I talk about it!

The headline from the second link can be kind of misleading. I thought Britney had married Jennifer Gardner, and that Gardner wasn't real happy about it.

The book gives 15 spiritual pointers for enlightenment, and about parenthood, it says, "Growing children learn many roles simultaneously, and the role learned at home is only one of many."

Damn. Sure wish I'd known that one sooner. A pointer like that would have been such a help when my kids were younger....

We here in San Diego, where DChop lives, are a generous lot (right, El?). Just as I volunteered Ahnold to go help the Afghan's with their culturally-important bodybuilding program, I now freely offer Deepak to go live with Kev and Brit, who will probably need a lot of help with their parenting skills, and may not be up to plowing through the Enlightened One's prose.

Sure, our levels of spiritual wisdom will plummet, but we're ok with that. We'll just go to the beach.

You're right, Maud! And to prove it, let me be the first to contribute to the
"Get Deepak Out Of Town Fund" - oops, I mean the "Help Kev and Brit Have A Great Life Fund"

*writes check for $3.00*

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