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August 24, 2005

THE KIND OF MAIL WE LIKE TO SEE

An offer from the folks at the (not its real name) MontpelierTwo small business™ Fisa Dilithium card:

Dave Barry,

Put Judi Smith on our no-annual-fee rewards card.

Who are we to argue with a direct order from MontpelierTwo?

Comments

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Lovely! When shall we meet for shopping?

sign me up. i dont live THAT far from montpelier.

Personally the kind of mail I like to see are checks. Preferably ones that haven't been earmarked for spending yet. Good times...

Judi, who knew? You'll be getting all my "special offers" from Nigeria from now on. Enjoy!

Better obey them. They KNOW what's in your wallet.

SHOES!!!!

We need to go shoe shopping - let's all meet at judi's place!

Hey Judi! There's a horde of marauders running down the street toward you! They want to see if David Spader will let them use their frequent flier miles.

The boys are back in town...

Dave,

Do what I do. Take the reply, postage-prepaid envelope, fill it with random household detritus (e.g. toe nail clippings, dryer lint, sod from the lawn, dead bugs, etc.) and mail it back to them.

They love that. They really do.

Montpelier Two - a small planet in Scammera sector, shunned by all civilized species (from the Hitchhiker's Guide)

insom ~ That is eerie. That's what I'm reading today.

Eleanor ~ Shoes is a wonderful idea. I'll meet you at DSW on my lunch tomorrow (11:00). A new pair of heels would nicely round off the lovely week I'm having.

I must be developing a visual tic; I read this wrong, too. I thought the head was, "THE KIND OF MAN WE LIKE TO SEE". But I'd already noted that it involved a rewards program for Judi, so it's a natural mistake.

I'm sure you've been a good girl, Judi, and deserve to be rewarded with the chance to be a bad girl. Can you get that with a dilithium card? (I guess it couldn't hurt.)

Yes, but can we make warp speed?

*obscure Star Trek reference*

Maud,
It's not a tic, Dave just misspelled "male".

So Dave, follow the orders and set the card on her chair before she sits down. By all means DO NOT let her go shopping with it.

Mrs. S--with the Dilithium card, your MONEY disappears at warp speed! Watch your credit rating vanish like a Romulan Warbird cloaking itself!Trekkers--check out starshipexeter.com if you haven't already done so!

Avoiding wearing red shirts, Y. B. Normal

mrs swooshman: YAY, someone got it ;)

Fellow blogits, I propose that we all arm ourselves with laser-guided slingshots and GPS guided spitwad shooters and GO AFTER THE SPAMMER!!!

Oh, now I understand, I thought that had something to do with the reward part of the card.

I'm with you A.N.!

Dear Customer:

'Live Long and Prosper' with our low, low interest rates? Do you Klingon the edge of financial security?
Are you in a Vulcan nerve pinch fiscally? We can assimilate your debts into one easy payment. Resistance is futile!!!!

insom - *SNORK*

observer - there's another spammer on the "cultural differences" thread that we need to "go after". I think we'll need to load up on reusable steel balls.

*goes to change into camouflage outfit*

You think they're not posting because of the weather in Florida?

Amy, weather here in south Florida bad already. They're probably hunkering down. Me, I'm at work. :(

*bows low to judi*

Sometimes I get it.

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