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August 29, 2005

TERRORIST ALLIGATORS UPDATE

You are not safe anywhere.

(Thanks to Karen Durkin)

Comments

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Aw heck, the little ones are just cuddly. Ignore those officials -- if you see it, pick it up and give it a big ole hug and a kiss.

It was just another day here at the Pennsylvania Fish Commission Office -- a missing carp, a halibut without a license, some dame bellyaching that her tuna walked off with her the little treasure box she'd put in his tank like a sap. Then the call came in.

"Slutter."

"Gary, it's Reynolds. We've got a loose alligator in Schuylkill Haven."

I put down the phone and picked up my piece. The big one. The one made especially for alligators.

My day was about to get much more interesting.

Hmm...that's about where they stole $72 worth of meat from the freezer. Do you suppose the alligator is hungry now?

Sure, so far there are only isolated gator terrorist cells, but what happens if a leader arises and tells them the only reason they haven't evolved in 350 million years is because of some two legged species. Who just happen to be edible.

Shucks, all these people so worked up over a few alligators. All they need to do is call in Anthony J. Drexel Biddle and John Lawless. Which could be difficult, seeing as they're dead. Kudos (and my phone number) to he or she who knows my reference without the aid of google, askjeeves, or anything else of that nature.

Dang. None of you know this one? *sniff* Alone in my geekiness. But in my defense, obscure and silly movies loosely based on true stories are not my only geek fields.

Not to worry, Bumble. We were just ashamed of our own geekiness.

Rumor has it that this gator is dating the one in Los Angeles. Tonight's top story.

Just how the heck to you pronounce >i>SCHUYLKILL HAVEN, anyway?

Damn fat fingers! Try to make some fancy shmancy formatting, and you end up looking like an code noob! Oh well. It's time for bed.

Schuylkill is pronounced like school (as in elementary) kill, only in practice the "l" in the middle tends to get lost and it's more like Skookull. It's not weird; it's Dutch. I don't remember exactly what the difference between those two things is.

Yea, its just a lil baby gator.... wait until something like out of Lake Placid starts running around, that was a pretty good movie too by the way. Nothing like cheesy reptile movies.

My minions are everywhere.

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