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August 29, 2005

SNAKE MAN UPDATE

Next time this guy has a problem with the bank, he'll call customer service and wait on hold like everybody else.

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Two years of the sentence imposed on Abel Manamela have been suspended for five years.

Huh?

To my way of thinking, if it hasn't caught on yet, there's a reason.

*resists urge to say "because it's b-a-a-a-a-d.*

Oops.

OK, that b-a-a-a-d post was supposed to be on the Goat thread.????

That's legal mumbo-jumbo, sly!

It happened to my clients all the time - and it's a good thing..:)

FCDA - good thing for your clients or for society? 'splain it to me, Lucy!

He was sentenced to 3 (three) years in prison, but 2 of them were suspended, meaning that he right now serves one year, and they hold the other 2 over him and if he does something else bad when he gets out, he goes back to prison for the other 2 without getting to have a trial, or any of those other silly civil rights!

They could have given him the electric chair for life.

Serpientes. Porque debe ser los serpientes?

It has been many years since I took Spanish in high school, Y. B. Normal

So does this look okay to you guys?

Looks good to me!

*settles into new digs*

*loves KDF a mojito*

*clinks glass*

I was gonna wait for the other sistahs, but...what the hell.

Message has been sent via Y!

*checking in*

Is every Kilt we stay at a different plaid? Or... *thinks a bit*... are these all just different threads of the same Kilt?

*zips in*

Looks fine to me!

*sits on the Couch o' New Threads and waits to see who else shows up*

*clinks*

*sips*

*is happy*

Neo, this is an excellent question. I'm thinkin' different threads of the same Kilt. Anyone else?

Me, too.

Oh, definitely. The original Kilt is still the source of all the threads.

hey sistahs! tried to go off and have a few mojitos without me, did ya?

*tries to act hurt*

*fails miserably*

K? Sharon? somebody pass me a drink, will ya?

oh, and different threads of the same Kilt.

yep, sounds good. :)

We've moved? Excllent!

*marks her territory (the corners of her shadows)*

*will regret this when she sobers up*

*checks spelling again and posts*

*loves s-girl a mojito*

Glad you're here, southern sistah.

And ewwwww.....wolfie can have THAT couch all to herself.

Found it ... talk @y'all later ... busy now ... good to see the gang again ...

Why are there brightly-colored vibrators all around the Shadows?

They keep the rats happy

hmm, I found shadow in the corners but that does NOT like our Wolfie.

er, does not LOOK like, etc.

Alfred gets a prize for having written the Most Disturbing Sexual Innuendo (So Far) on the Kilt.

*sticks a giant gold star on Alfred's halo*

A well made kilt has many threads.

You may quote me.

I would like to thank my parents. If it hadn't been for them, I wouldn't be here today.

Alfred, that's the first time I've really and truly snorked in weeks. I've laughed and giggled, yes, but that last comment gave me a true snork. Kudos.

YAY! for *snork*s!!

Apologies to those who may have already seen this:

Rule n°5: Cheat on your girlfriend with your own mother; you can be discreet. Cheat on a girl with her mother, well, you're just asking for drama.

IT is sort of amazing how many infidelity films Woody Allen makes. Especially since he is so scared of women, he ends up talking to his daughter instead.

My favorite Woody Allen quote (which is easy to come up with since I've only seen him in two movies) is from Doc Hollywood, where he played Hank Gordon:

Nancy Lee: Is that a star?

Hank: Naw, that's Ted Danson.

Good one. I would snork, But I have a cold.

CA is great! YAY! for vacation!!

Snake Man! Thanks for the heads up, Meanie. Been busy with stuff the last few days. Hope you guys are all OK.

And it is Happy Birthday to Judi, our beloved leader & stealth bloggerette!

Hope it's a great one.

My favorite Woody Allen quote (which is easy to come up with since I've only seen him in two movies) is from Doc Hollywood, where he played Hank Gordon:

Um, Bumble, that was Woody Harrelson, not Woody Allen.

Woody Allen.

Woody Harrelson.

Memorable Allen quotes (from Annie Hall):

Hey, don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.

Lyndon Johnson is a politician, you know the ethics those guys have. It's like a notch underneath child molester.

My grammy never gave gifts. She was too busy getting raped by Cossacks.

Don't you see the rest of the country looks upon New York like we're left-wing, communist, Jewish, homosexual pornographers? I think of us that way sometimes and I live here.

~nonsequitor~
I've posted a game (with prizes) at the Den. Just thought I'd announce it cause it's been a while since I updated anything over there :-)


Now I have to go to work. Blah!

Wolfie - I played the game. I wear a charm bracelet every day but it's not anywhere near as cool as yours. You must send airport security into a tizzy!

I have no games on my blog, but I did post my current favorite mojito recipe yesterday. :)

goddess I see boobs!

*super snorkage*
you might have won the bonus prize on that line alone
And luckily I don't fly (onna plane) that often.
*goes back to reread your answers*

I saw boobs, too, KDF. That was a fun game.

I saw a clothespin.

Do I win?

Wolfie, don't those weigh down your arm?

*nods*
Feels like it's about 2lbs of silver. Like having a weight always strapped to my wrist. They need to be cleaned about once a week to keep the shine tho and I'm just too lazy for that.
Also I jingle when I move. Makes me sound.. festive. :-)

And the boss can always hear you coming...

(oops, I said 'coming')

I jingle too. If I could find my dang camera, I'd post a picture (I think one of my kids "borrowed" the camera, dammit -- it's probably in the sandbox, or rusting in a puddle of mud under the porch, but I'm afraid to look.)

I did see boobs!

How about this part, Wolfie:

Bracelet 3: A bunch of cool little decorative dangly things that I
cannot identify, but would wear as earrings

Did I get points for that? Did I? No actual information in there, but I think it's the effort that's important.

points are being awarded randomly and for little or no reason.
well okay.. that's a lie. but the answers that make me laugh get bonus points.(did I mention I'm planning on posting the best answers? tomorrow if blogger doesn't stay down too long tonight)

Jeff won a bag of clothespins. Please email me your address Jeff

Dang it! I thought they were nipple clamps.

*pouts*

I didn't say he was correct, just that he won a bag of clothespins. He seems to have an obsession with them and I thought I'd help out.
cause imma helpful sorta wolfie ya know. :-)

*snork*

Jeff~ OMG. I can't believe I did that. I swear I know the difference. I had just looked at MiK's link, and Alfred was talking about it; he said Woody Allen and I was thinking about Woody Harrelson and had a total brain fart moment and typed the wrong name. Yikes. And I'm such a movie trivia geek, too. I'm so ashamed of myself.

*ducks and hides in a corner; not one wolfie "marked" though*

*peels 'wolfies' label off everything she marked*

Now what I am supposed to do with all these sticky notes?

*slinks off to find recycle bin*

*zips in*

Hi y'all!

I'm in a good mood today because my hair is still straight. YAY for straight hair!

I'm thinking about calling CG™ and see if he wants to get together again - seems a shame to waste the "do". :)

My family's still sleeping! So I'm alone, for now. Later I'll have an extra "shadow" or two. :)

*pokes the Kilt*

*checks its vitals*

*holds a mirror to its mouth and nose*

I'm not dead yet!

*whew!*

*puts away emergency defibulator, adrenalin shots, and intubation tube*

*peeks up Kilts kilt*

Slow day, eh?

what, does everybody have a life or somethin'?

werk
*twitch*

I don't, Sgirl.

It's pathetic, really. You know what I'm reading right now?

Eurovision 2006, minute-by-minute.

Seriously.

Key quote: Tourist-wooing score: Low, unless you have earwax that needs shifting.

sg, how was the first day back to school for your kids? Ours is in about three weeks.

hey K, it was good. they like their teachers, and they were glad to go back and see their friends.

they did complain some, tho, ya know, for show. :)

sorry, I forgot...what grades are your kids in now? mine are 7th (my son) and 4th (my daughter).

yours are..7 and 12? am I close? ;)

sorry, again...you have 3 don't ya?

*sigh*

so do I. :)

Sharon got posted!!!

Congrats! :)

I DID???

*rushes once more to the MB to see, 'cause she never knows when she's been posted 'til someone else tells her*

*puts away emergency defibulator, adrenalin shots, and intubation tube*

Posted by: sharon share-alike | 01:35 PM on August 9, 2006

Jeezely! They've got an automatic leg-amputater now? When I wuz on the ambulance crew, we merely used a handy hacksaw ...

(I know. Picky, picky, picky ...)

hey Sharon, if you're back from the MB, I think maybe the kilt could use the emergency defibulator, adrenalin shots, and intubation tube after all.

meantime, supper's done here. anybody hungry?

oh, and I've got beer, too!

sg, they're going into 5th, 4th, and 2nd grade (and I swear, they were just infants, like, five minutes ago.)

*sniff* They grow up so fast! I think this is the first year that summer went too fast and I'm not ready for them to go back to school. Or maybe I say that every year.

*munches a taco* *sips chugs a beer* Mmm, thanks, Southerngirl! You are a heck of a cyber cook!

K, right, it's the 4th grader we have in common. I knew we had one the same age. :)

neo, every year at the end of summer, people are askin' if we're ready for school to start, and I always chime in, along with my kids, "NO!"

and btw...I have lots more tacos, and lots more beer...help yourself!

No time to heinz, so I dunno if somebunny already asked this, but was just wondering if Sharon was googling Tierkoerperbeseitigungsgesetz in reference to her recent nocturnal activities.

Oh. My. *SNORK*

Yes, Sharon! Let's get into the rabbit of sharing our funny Tierkoerperbeseitigungsgesetz stories. They make me hoppy.

Hey, y'all ... talkin' about kids in skul ... my grandkids are gonna be in ... um ... 7th, 5th, 4th, 4th, 3rd and KG ... with the next one (who just broke his arm yesterday ... third generation to do so ...) in pre-skul and the little fort a mere year old, so daycare for him ...

I think I got those grades right ... I once lost a year of my oldest daughter's life when I thot she wuz 14 and she wuz really 15 ... but I was younger then ... tho not any smarter ... and my memory skills have been goin' downhill ever since ...

Gettin' so it's not easy to keep up with all their various sports and music and programs and such ... especially from four hours away ... but I also recollect the varied attitudes about startin' a new skul year ... I enjoy your parental commentaries ... nice to know there's such good parents on the blog ...

♪ Nobody likes me, no one wants to hire me; guess I’ll eat a big fat worm...

Didja know job hunting sucks?

*curls up in bed to read Harry Potter*

Anyone want to pay me to do book reviews? Here is a sampling of my work:

Harry Potter: Rocks.

The Awakening: Sucked rocks.

Yeah, I gnu that, Bumble ...

It always seemed better to have a new job to which one would go, prior to leavin' the old one ... of course, we don't always get that choice ...

Got a question fer ya ... mere curiousity, but I'll explain ...

Where'd you pick up on the phrase "suck rocks" (or, "sucked/sucks rocks")?

Reason I ask, is ... to me, it nearly qualifies you for a ride on the geezer bus ... it wuz around nearly 40 years ago ... first mention I ever heard/saw wuz Johnny Hart, in the comic strip B.C. ... merely curious as to how some (a few) phrases or slang have survived several generations, and still have the same basic connotation ...

BTW, bloglits ... a quick tally indicates that the Kilt thread is approachin' 20,000 posts ... unless I missed one ... it's about 19,500 right now ... (yeah, I'm stallin' on gettin' my daily reports done ... time on my hands ...)

I added 'em up, and deducted an average of 50 from the ones to which we moved, on an average ...

(No, I did NOT go in and count the "original" posts on each one. I don't have THAT much time to fritter away ...)

I think I picked it up from my older sister, but I don't know where she heard it; certainly not from my parents. They frown with disapproval every time I say it. :-)

I knew I had seen that in BC, but that was the comic strip, not the date.

awww, Bumble, don't be silly...ya know we all luv ya!!

and ASK?

*SNORK*

I always liked BC, too. again, the comic strip, not the date. ;)

Okay, y'all are slow enough that I got time to heinz back to the last kilt. Lots of perviness missed, but I got that to spare.

Do need to give a big hug to {{{{{EL}}}}} for
It's really not the same around here without ASK the CD *sigh*
Posted by: Eleanor | 05:43 PM on August 8, 2006

I miss you too, sweetheart!

*zips in*

oooh, ASK, why are you NOW here when I'm leaving? I miss you. ;)

*zips out*

Now that's timing!

Hi SG!

It is about the only time I can make it anymore, since work blocks the blog.

If only I had known before I took the job!

Really though, it has been amazing so far - which is just about impossible since school hasn't started yet.

I wrote more about it on my blog (which I also can't reach from work).

Okay, okay...I'll post the "Midnight Story," since both ASK and KDF have alluded to it. This happened the night before last, and I apologize in advance for the length.

Every night, I let my dog Kumquat outside for one last "out" before he goes to sleep in his crate. Usually, he goes into the back yard, pees, and is ready to come in for bed, but tonight he seemed really interested in something out in the yard. My yard is pretty big, and obviously at midnight it was very dark even with the porch light on, so I couldn't see what he was doing, but eventually I called him back to the patio door.

He was about halfway back when I realized he had something in his mouth. At first I thought it was a stick, but as he drew near, I saw it was something else...something suspiciously floppy and rather distressingly furry. He came up to the back door, plonked his butt down, and proudly showed me the very small dead bunny he held in his mouth.

My first thought? Ewwwwwwww! THEN came the "OH, the poor little bunny!" thought close on its heels. I VERY firmly said, "Kumquat! DROP IT!" Which he did immediately. I didn't see any blood, so I don't know if he just found the bunny and decided to bring it to me as a present, or if he'd actually killed it. Since he's chased many, many bunnies and has NEVER caught one before, I have the feeling that this was already an ex-bunny, it had gone to join the choir invisible, it was no more when he found it.

I turned away for just a second...I was having a slight "girly" moment, I admit. I've been remarkably sheltered from dead things in my life (the body I studied for Anatomy class notwithstanding), and have never really had to deal with a dead creature on my own (squooshed spiders don't count!). So I wasn't entirely sure what I should do. Should I throw it away? Should I bury it? It was a very small bunny...not full grown, I think, maybe about the length of my hand. But I wavered for a moment. Then I turned back to let in the dog, and saw something that made me laugh until I cried.

Kumquat's favorite toy is a little stuffed, fuzzy hedgehog that squeaks when he hits just the right spot on its tummy (I've talked to some of you on the phone at this point, and some of you may have heard the SQUEAK-a, SQUEAK-a, SQUEAK-a of the toy as he played with it). You've already guessed the next part, right? When I turned back to the door, there was Kumquat, with the poor little bunny in his mouth...trying to get it to squeak. He has a VERY specific way of getting his toy to squeak, and he was obviously extremely puzzled as to why this little thing wasn't cooperating. I shrieked, and he dropped the bunny. I pulled him inside, assured him that he was a good boy, and put him in his crate.

By this time I was laughing so hard I couldn't see. The poor dog...! He was SOOOO proud to have found a new toy, but SOOOOO confused that it wasn't squeaking when it should be. Horrified at myself for laughing, I decided my penance would be to bury the little thing in the yard--well beyond the reach of Kumquat's chain. But unfortunately, I'm not a gardener, and I don't really have any shovels or trowels or anything like that. Which is why midnight found me on my knees in the back yard, trying to dig a hole in the ground with my pasta-spoon.

Problem was, it hasn't rained here recently, and the ground was REALLY hard. I got all sweaty and dirty, trying to dig this hole to bury the bunny. I finally managed it, but I fear I made a poor job of it. I just hope the bunny gods understand that it was a good-faith effort and don't go all Watership Down on me.

I always have to make that apology too.

I still love the story. Did you keep the spoon?

Yup. It's now the Poor Li'l Dead Bunny Memorial Spoon.

But it will never scoop pasta again.

'night, kilties

hey, ASK, how the hell are ya? it's good to see ya keepin' up with your blog a little more. :)

and what exactly are ya apologizin' for - your length?

*innocent look*

HA! thought you'd sneak that one by us, did ya?

Sharon...*sniffsobsnorksniffsniff*

sorry about the Poor Li'l Dead Bunny™ :(

goodnight sg!

Sharon- I know that story. It happened similarly to me the other day. There seems to be something going around killing the rabbits. Kind of freaky. Make sure to report it to your vet.
I burried a couple dead rabbits. Both of them were pretty young.

Anyway, My little brother Numero Primero esta en Universidad de BYU y Hermano numero dos esta sophmore en escuela secudaria y mi hermanita esta en grade ocho.

Just finished watching Americas Got Talent. The Gay Russian guy is hilarious.

Hey El, is it anything like this?

Then you can do the flip thing too.

Or is it more like this? Or (please say no), this.

I'm thinking about calling CG™ and see if he wants to get together

Yay for "get together" as Euphemism of the Day.

*Shields eyes from the sun and scans the horizon*
*Spots a tiny speck deep in the distance, raises spyglass*
*Sees a pair of plaid underwear with a brown stripe flying atop a tall mast*
*Begins rowing*


You know, I'm washing some clothes today and would be happy to throw in the Kilt flag as well.

Sharon, that story was hilarious! It's a keeper. I love Kumquat's name.

{{{Blue!!!}}} We were afraid you fell overboard.

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