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August 27, 2005

HALFTIME SCORE FROM LOS ANGELES

Gator 1, Wranglers 0

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Go, Gator!

That's easy for you to say, Sondra - you dont live here in su.so.ca. -

We are totally freaked out by this story! (as evidenced by the fact that the city of Los Angeles has spent 50K (so far) in their unsuccessful attempts to catch this horrible beast!)

This is probably a soccer analogy, huh? Doesn't this guy know that nobody gives a crap about soccer? This is America pal. We like sports where there is lots of scoring. Examples: football, basketball, the Yankess when Hideo Nomo or Randy Johnson are serving up softballs, women's pro beach volleyball, etc. 1-0 at halftime does not cut it.

Only one? By my count, that gator has several at this point.

How exactly does one lose an alligator in Los Angeles? Does it hop a bus to Tijuana?

*crying crocodile tears*

Eleanor,

I've never seen an alligator that wasn't in captivity. I think that's cuz I don't go where alligators are known to be.

That alligator is probably enjoying the first freedom in his life. Since he's the only one, there's no one to challenge him and no chance he'll reproduce. The first article claimed that there's a virtually unlimited food supply. Sounds like it works for everyone, to me.

Until he gets too big and the food supply dwindles, then he'll be much easier to catch. Looking at the big picture, I don't understand the hurry to catch him.

Nell Honey!

Some of the stations in LA are doing a two hour special deemed, "Gator- Watch out!"

The Hank Stram life story will follow.

Tomorrow CNNNNNNN, "Do alligators cause E Reptile disfunction?

That Packer coach wasn't didly squat.

Hank

hey Sondra!
the problem is that it is already too big not to be a threat to animals n small children. n since it's been a "pet", plus people are still feeding it treats, it has no real fear of humans. this is really a very dangerous situation.
(it's only being shy `cause it's smart enuf to know they are trying to "get" him)

Tonight on Rita Cosby on Live and Making No Sense At All, "Gators- How to get rid of a man by mauling.

Tonight on my show, Gators- are they taking over the Western states of America and what Politicians are planning to do about it.

I have a crack research team up and running finding ways to solve the situation of Alligator discriminaton in this state. We won't tolerate it. WE won't tolerate anything that messes with my 'cool' for that matter.

Dave...I'm a man.

Barbara Boxer

Tonights ABC special. There are no Gators in Canada and a special story about a Gator who gained his citizenship through help from the LA Zoo.

haha "The Desert's Breaking News"

Today's forcast: Sandy!

An in depth interview with the rattlesnake, pirahana, and voodoo banshee I was released with into this goldfish pond with. A special appearance by Goldie Hawn and the other hawn chick.

Tonight at 7pm

Alligators: A threat to the Left or the Right???

*snork*

Special: Do the rattles on rattklesnakes cure hiccups? New studies posted in the NEJOM say so. Watch and find out as we have a round table discussion with other snakes in the know. Tonight at 11, 12, 1, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 and 7 pm. Parental guidance is not suggested.

Ok, I bet the T-shirt guy is making even MORE money selling his "You'll never catch me!" shirts to his cousins crossing the boarder....and he had a phone order from Bin Laden.

Chelsea Clinton is my neice. Come and listen to a story bout a man named Jed.

Tonight on On the Record... Was Natalie Holloway eaten by an aligator like the one that is currently menacing the city of Los Angeles? We'll be live from a pond in Aruba where one witness tells us that an aligator may have eaten Natalie Holloway, then booked a flight to Los Angeles, where authorities are currently searching for a loose aligator.

Forget the gators! Did anyone notice this ultra-perky newsperson?

Also, Errant Gators WBAGNFARB.

That is all. Thank you.

And since Brad loves football -

Go Gators!

AllieKat - her teeth are her most prized possession! :)

Cyn,

From the post of Aug 23rd:

"...there's so much food out there -- there are millions of frogs -- and so finding a way to catch him with food will be difficult at best."

So why are small animals and children in danger?

I think I gotta agree with Sondra here - ya gotta root just a little bit for the gator, who, thru no fault of his own, was turned loose in a lake that people just happen to want gator-free - and now has managed to make fools of so-called experts from 2 different states to the tune of $50,000 (and counting).

yep, for just a little while, I'm gonna cheer for the gator, from a nice safe spot waaay over here, with 2 mountain ranges and a couple thousand miles between me n Reggie the gator

Thanks, TCK!

I suppose my perspective is slightly different, being as how I'm viewing all this from Guatemala.

But, gators are like any other animal. When there's lots of food, they don't bother people, when supplies run low, run.

I can buy that - we don't have gators here in Montana - just grizzlies, mountain lions, rattle snakes, and the occassional wolf

Killed a scorpion in the closet last night, but other than that, the dangerous stuff stays outside.

I believe the point here is that they have lost track of the reptile.

They don't know where it is.

Having read reports of dogs and children being attacked in their supposedly safe back yards in Florida, I don't think this is something to gloss over.

They don't want to kill the gator, they want to capture it, bring it to Gatorland where it can cavort happily doing its thing without danger to others.

Don't think that makes us bad people to be rooting for Dundee.

Gators are funny, strange creatures with sharp teeth.

Rah, rah for Reggie!
Rah, rah for Reggie!
Rah, rah for Reggie!
Rah, rah, rah!

Amy,

America is ostenisbly a free country. Express your opinion. I'll express mine. Doesn't make either one of us a bad person.

BOOGER!

ostensibly

and KOW has a good point

LA has spent 50K and the gator's still free. I think that makes the score 50,000 to 0.

Way to run up the score, Reggie!

if this is a free country, why's it cost so much to live here?

(not that I'm complainin - got no immediate plans to vacate - although I'll admit to a brief consideration of becoming Canadian)

are there gators in Canada (where's Somewhere North when you need him?)

more importantly, are there gators in Guatemala?

just thinkin that those of us rootin for the gator (at least for a little while) don't seem to live where there are any - there's not a gator built that would make it thru a Montana winter

Hey! I just saw the gator in my back..ya...yaaaaaah!...
YYYAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Okay...yes, I agree it's not funny.

Although, is there any chance that someone in LA could throw about 30 pounds of chopped siloin in the back of Tom Cruise's car? That guy so needs something else to complain about.

I'm rootin' for Reggie, and at this very moment I can walk 30 feet out my front door and probably spot a gator. You can do that when you live on the banks of Lake Okeechobee. I'm with Sondra on this one. Leave Reggie alone and educate the public not to feed him or let their children or pets encroach on his new domain. I imagine, at one time, his ancestors swam through the waters where he now basks.

TCK - my thoughts exactly!!! :)

No alligators. Most of the fatal stuff here is insect-sized. Unless you count the people. The neighbors ate one of my cats. Yes, you read it right. THE NEIGHBORS ATE ONE OF MY CATS! So, no alligators, just Mayans.

Sondra - tell your neighbors to Mayan their own business.

*ducks*

Stupendous Man - glad to see you're on board (also glad to see you don't have any self-esteem issues)

Sondra - sorry about the cats - although i've been told cat tastes a lot like racoon, if prepared properly (for those of you who've never eatin 'coon - it doesn't taste anything like chicken)

for those of you who don't understand how i could cheer for the gator, ya have to understand that the funny part is spending $50,000 to catch him alive. here, in big sky country, we would deal with Reggie a litle differently -

first, we wouldn't name him.

Secondly, we would determine wheter or not gators are endangered. If gators were endangered, we would determine whether the gator posed an immediate threat to people, pets or livestock. if not, we would attempt to catch him alive - if that didn't work, or if he posed a threat, we would shoot him.

if we determined that gators were not endangered (and i do not beleive they are) - we would shoot him

this may seem cold to some, but it wouldn't cost anywhere near $50,000

Aunt Nancy,

SNORK!


TCK, thanks. And being from Houston, The Bayou City, we just haul 'em to the zoo if they're catchable - or shoot 'em. Make nice boots.

On Monday's On the Record, I will have forensic pathologist Michael Baudin on to discuss how we could examine aligator feces to determine if the aligator currently being pursued in Los Angeles might have eaten Natalie Holloway while in Aruba. We'll also be talking to the half-sister of Scott Peterson about concrete anchors. Geraldo Rivera and Mark Fuhrman will join us later in the show to discuss the Idaho serial child molestor, and whether the aligator might have been molested as a youngster on Aruba.

rattlesnakes make nice boots too - but i spose it takes a few more of 'em to make a pair

*Completely off topic*

I'm shocked that The Blog didn't mention anything about the "humans" exhibit in the London Zoo. Did I miss it, or was there really nothing?

i forget what the topic was....er anyway - don't humans actually live in London - outside of the zoo (Englishman count as humans, right?) who would go look at humans in the zoo, when they can just look for free everywhere else?

we're not talkin about strippers, are we?

here's the story

complete with slide show

ah - well they're not strippers but at least they're only "barely clothed"

TCK, I saw your earlier comment about a gator making it through a Montana winter, and it reminded me of the time my friend James Billie, Seminole Chieftain and Chairman of the Seminole Tribe of Florida, Inc, took a gator in his (the Chief's) private plane to Blair, NE, outside Omaha. He gave a lecture to some middle schoolers about gators, then flew home. I have a video of the lecture. When James returned, I asked what happened to the gator. He just shrugged and said he left it in Nebraska. That was about 15 years ago. Gators are long lived; I wonder if that one has made it through the Nebraska winters.

boots?

seriously tho Stupendous Man, your story shows something i've noticed about most of my Native American friends (other than that they don't like being called Native American, but i'm tryin to be PC here). They have kind of a different attitude about what's important, and what's not. Flying to Nebraska with a gator to talk to middle school kids - important - mission accomplished. What happens to the gator afterwards? somebody else's problem

NTTAWWT - they seem to be a much happier lot than a lot of other people i know

ok - i just read my last comment, which seems to be mostly gibberish - time to put the herbs away & go gator huntin

TCK, if you been at the herbs, maybe ya ought to stay away from the gators. They might find you first.

*it's an Elton John song*

Reggie is living alone in a lake
I can see his beady eyes,and unmistakable wake
And I can see Reggie's trying to hide
God, is that Reggie or a log on its side?

They say he's a smart gator, though I wouldn't know
Teams from all over, want to put him in a show
Watch him eat chicken and that kind of stuff
Isn't one Steve Irwin on our TV enough?

Reggie the gator
Please don't come close to me
Do you still feel the pain
Seeing kin flushed out to sea?
When you have died, after all's been tried
Reggie , you're a purse on Rodeo Drive!


Insomniac,

*snork*

Can't sleep, Lou?

Insom - SUPER-SNORK!! And also SNORK from my husband.

This kinda reminds me of an old Muppet Show episode when Elton John was the guest. He sang "Crocodile Rock" with a group of muppet alligators, and at the end of the song the gators pulled Elton John off the piano bench. Then at the backstage shot, as the gators were walking by Kermit, he yells at them "How many times do I have to tell you not to eat the guests!"

I have already requested the Muppet Show Season One on DVD for my birthday.

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Wow, Hi Amy and A.N.,
Two of my favorite blogettes on this late? I just put my kids to bed, what's up with you guys?

I was watching preseason football, but then I had to show my husband how to make pre-draft selections for our fantasy football league, so I shut off the TV. (BTW - it's Hubby's first year of playing fantasy football, and my second.) While he was working I went down to my studio and did some rearranging. Now I'm upstairs, blogging, trying to wind down so I can get some sleep. After all, it's only 11:15 pm CDT.

A.N.
You watch football and play fantasy league?
Cool.

Lou - thanks for the compliment. FYI, my fantasy football team name is Nuclear Moose.

Looooooong story there.

Nuclear Moose wbagnfarb.

I'm all wound up from the day and came here to find intelligent life.

I believe I am sufficiently unwound. All my ambition has drained out through my bottom and into my chair. I hope I can retrieve enough of it to get upstairs.

Good night.

(With apologies to Mason Williams)

GATOR WRANGLERS

See them Gator Wranglers!
Ain't they neat?
Lettin' gators grab'em
By they feet!
How to be a Gator Wrangler?
Don't need a ticket!
Stick yer foot in the water
And let the gator git it!

How 'bout them Nuclear Moose Goosers?

*zips in*

My, my, my - it looks like there was a party here last night - how fun!!!

Why am I up and posting at 6:11am PDT, you ask?

Because it's too freakin' hot here in su.so.ca. to sleep - AAARRRGGGH!!

*rolls over in a pile of cheerios, beer cans, and feathers, totally oblivious to the fact that someone has curled his hair*

Hi, El. Nothing much happened here last night. Really.

God bless you in California, I hope that the electricity holds up for you people out there.

*enjoys a cup of coffee and reads a good book while waiting for a new post*

Nice new 'do, louis - quite becoming!!!

Forget about our heat wave here in su.so.ca. - the Mayor of New Orleans just ordered Mandatory evacuations of the whole city - sounds dreadful....

*sits down next to sly and waits to be entertained*

also waiting for this book.

Is the 'do Dave sporting in that photo an example of a ye olde fashioned mullette?

slyeyes I can see Cbol having some fun with that picture.

175 MPH winds that is one monster storm. Bush is giving a speech in 1/2 hour I'm sure that will be entertaining. I wonder if he will find a way to blame terrorists?

*snork*
Mad - I think he might play "We Are Family" in a show of solidarity - from Crawford, of course!

*pre-emptive apologies to anyone whom I may have offended*

Mad & El,
I like Bush, but that still gets a *snork*

:)

*Pre-emptive apologies to New Orleans Saints fans*

*If there are any*

What is the real reason New Orleans is in big trouble?

Katrina blows, and the Saints suck.

*ducks to avoid incoming footballs*

hello? anyone here? where'd all the footballs come from?

*wanders away muttering to himself - trips over a black and gold football*

I think we can expect some of Reggie's cousins from the bayous to end up in downtown N.O. After Katrina, they might own downtown N.O. Let's hope not. My best wishes for all life and property in that endangered area as Katrina draws near.

On the other hand, LA's new grocery slogan:

Gator Tail, the other other white meat!

Clearly the gator came from New Orleans and is just waiting for things to blow over (pun semi-intended). Reptiles are psychic, ya know.

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