DEPARTMENT OF PRODUCTS THAT ONLY GUYS WOULD EVER THINK OF MAKING

We always keep a bottle handy, in case company comes.

(Via Gizmodo)

Comments

[Bumble]

Some guys in my freshman algebra class had something similar. Fart Spray. It was disgusting. The first time they used it, the smell was so bad the teacher took us all to the library to finish class, but the second time, he made us stay in the room until one of us told who did it. Ugh.

[PeeJay]

Finally, a product I can associate with

[Bumble]

First! Yay!

[spinner8]

But will it speed up my wireless connection?

[Eleanor]

EEEWWWWW!!!

Major gross-out!

Ick!

[Kilmeny]

Why purchase a bottle when your husband will gladly dispense it for free?

[Bumble]

Kilmeny~ LOL!

[Somewhere North]

Especially effective for the in-laws.

[VictoriaE77]

Nothing works on my in-laws.

[queensbee]

you're right. that was hilarious. i am at a loss for words. lots of fun at naughty parties.

[Russell]

It may help cover up the smell of the strawberry milk fish sausages cooking in the upstairs apartment...

[chance]

The comments prove the saying that "Women find farts disgusting and men find them a source of amusement."

[xmnr]

Until we hear from Vicky Tisdial and Maria Alquilar, we really don't know what sensitive women think about this.

[Kilmeny]

Chance-- As if that needed to be proven.

[Funny Name]

Speaking of hilarious things to buy, here are some hilarious Jesus-related e-bay items that are now up for grabs.

[seatazzz]

Is nothing sacred???? What is this world coming to when people think Our Saviour's holy face on a perogi....wait a minute...did you say perogi? Nevermind, I'm hungry, gimme.

[Pinto]

I don't need this product. My roommate has a rottweiler who farts about 30 times a day. Lethal, mind-numbing, clear the room farts....

I don't know what the hell the dog is eating (cats, squirrels, small neighborhood children...), but it don't agree with her.

But she's pretty sweet otherwise and scares the burglars away. And the neighbors. And all our friends. What more could you want?

[AlanBoss]

A small dollop of good old fashioned limburger cheese spread on a card and stuck under a desk (or elsewhere) will achieve a similar effect.

Don't ask me how I know.

[Deon]

[wanders over and opens the window]

[louis (the next Michael Bolton) gehrig]

If I could save ass in a bottle
The first thing that I'd like to do.
Is to save every blast
'Til everyone passes their gas
Then I'd share them with you.

The stench would make days last forever
the smell would stick to things like glue
I'd make fresh air seem like a treasure and then,
Again, I would share it with you.

If I had a box just for fart smells
And scents that resembled fresh poo
My house would be empty
except for the memory
of how I could turn people blue

[barry manilow]

...But there never seems to be enough time,
To do the things you want to do,
When you find them....

[judi]

the cover story Dave wrote about the dolphins and dan marino in 1997 is here (per Suzy Q's request):

http://www.davebarry.com/gg/misccol.htm

will someone please let her know? and please let me know if there are any other columns you'd like to see posted.

[dedee gloor, phs '64]

ARMONK RULES!!!

Fan Arrested Day After a Plunge From Yankee Stadium Upper Deck

Aug 10, 2:28 PM (ET)

By MIKE FITZPATRICK

NEW YORK (AP) - A fan who plunged from the upper deck at Yankee Stadium onto the screen behind home plate during Tuesday night's game between New York and the Chicago White Sox was released from the hospital into police custody Wednesday.

The game was delayed for four minutes in the eighth inning after 18-year-old Scott Harper of Armonk, N.Y., plummeted about 40 feet onto the large net.

After the final out, he was carried from the ballpark on a stretcher, his head immobilized in a neck brace, and taken to Lincoln Medical Center, where he was treated and released Wednesday.

He was immediately placed in police custody and taken to the 44th precinct in the Bronx where he was booked on charges of reckless endangerment and disorderly conduct, a New York police spokesman said.

[crossgirl]

throws roses at louis.

i shall be awaiting the "lite" version, whipped ass.

[Shannon]

I have some "Canned Ass" here at the house...I married him. What the man needs is a "Sphincter Mint".

[Andrew]

I used a little of this stuff at work on a guy who is big-time brown noser. I scattered it on the floor in and around his desk. The Liquid Ass took off and it smelled like someone shit a nasty one. Wow! When he got in, he went thru every file and drawer looking for the cause of the smell. Then he was crawling on the floor (yeah, right at ground zero) looking behind the desk and computer and even sniffing at the little duct where the data wires come out. I could hardly contain my laughter. He spent a good hour looking before giving up. Holy cow that was funny.