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August 23, 2005

CALIFORNIA FINALLY GETS SERIOUS ABOUT CATCHING THE ELUSIVE MYSTERY REPTILE

They're sending in the varsity, the team from Gatorland, one of Florida's great tourist attractions, where you can watch the amazing Gator Jumparoo, which features, as a climax, alligators lunging out of the water to snatch chicken carcasses off a wire while tourists frantically take video, not wanting to miss a moment of this natural wonder.

I don't know if this is still true, but: The last time I was at Gatorland, you could, after learning all about these fascinating creatures, go to the snack bar and (I am not making this up) eat them in the form of deep-fried gator nuggets. They taste like chicken.

But getting back to the mystery LA reptile: The story linked to above states that, if the Gatorland team captures the animal, it "will go back to live at Gatorland bearing an as-yet undetermined, Los Angeles city-related name." We're wondering what that name will be. Traffic congeston? Botox?  Jack Nicholson?

UPDATE: Here's a nice shot of the Gator Jumparoo.

UPDATE UPDATE: That gives me an idea: Maybe they could lure the mystery LA reptile by dangling a carcass over the lake. Would Paris Hilton be too skinny?

Comments

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Britney? Kevin? Pollution Pedro?

A 53 acre lake that has 20 acres of heavy vegetation is not good.

Paris probably is too skinny, but maybe we could bundle her with someone else. Suggestions?

Leapin' Lizards, Sandy! Sandy? Sandy!!!

Victoria - see my first suggestion above.

Dave, did the Gator McNuggets Happy Meal come with a prize? Also, did you get a t-shirt?

The otherGatorland Varsity. These are the guys I want to see in kilts!

They hired two guys from COLORADO to catch a gator? Because of their vast experience trapping gators in Colorado?

Victoria: How about Nicole? The Simple Life indeed.

i dont know if she's too skinny, but i dont think they can make such good luggage out of her...

As a so.Cal girl, I love this story - and bringing in gator-catchers (sounds dirty, doesn't it?) is way cool, as we here in su.so.ca. like to say -

Since we have video of everything here in su.so.ca. (MOTTO: no car chase goes unfilmed) I'm sure there will be video of the capture, and possibly a TV movie!!
Hooray!

Next season: Former child stars with criminal records get a chance to have their slates wiped clean if they wrestle the Ell-Ay-Gator!

This sounds like a job for the Governator.

I'd pay hard American currency to see Ah-nold wrestle a gator

Dave, last time I was at Gatorland, they still had gator nuggets.

I remember reading about Gatorland in your book, and thinking, "Hey! I've been there, and it was the highlight of my trip!"

Then I felt sad about my pathetic life.

Maybe they could do a tag-team cage match, with Ah-nold and Jesse Ventura vs. Ell-Ay-Gator - the pay-per-view take would be huge

I will verify that gator tail - grilled, fried, or whatever - is highly tasty and does indeed taste much like chicken.

if L.A.Gator eats Ah-nold would it be full of steroids?

I think if we tie Paris and Nicole together, they may make a meal. But the poor animal would probably die from food poisoning and PETA would come after us with hatchets.

Would a pet psychologist be able to prescribe a sedative for the poor thing while he(she?) is being caught by the critter getter?

Off topic, but important (to me, anyway)

Why if I change my name in one place and unclick the remember thingy, do I lose my name on every thread??

*sobs*

Do you think the alligators taste like chicken because that's all they feed them?

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