« Previous | Main | Next »

August 24, 2005

ATTENTION, PARENTS OF INFANTS

If your infant is not wearing this, you are vermin scum. That is all.

(Via Gizmodo)

Comments

Feed You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.

guilty.

i dont have kids. but here is my comment to these people: bite me.

Does it prevent your child from being beaten up by the other children for looking silly?

how did the millions of my self indulgant contamporaries (we "baby boomers") ever get to our greying/balding state? we were deprived of these stylish helmets as children. it is a wonder we survived to puberty let alone to dotage.


It's not child rearing if it doesn't include a run to the ER with a large lump on your childs head.

It's like a rite of passage.

Plus, all the kids in kindergarten will think the scar is cool.

guilty of being vermin scum, i mean. not the helmet thing. never the helmet thing.

Not for Cycling, Skating or Skateboarding

Yeah, right. Like little Susie will be out riding a bicycle, skating or skateboarding at age 10 months.

But, hey! There's no warning that babies cannot use the Thudguard for operating heavy equipment, using a welding torch, or diving off high platforms, so Let's Go!

What the...? Is that a propeller on top? And if your kid still has a fontanelle (soft spot on top of the head) by the time s/he's learning to walk, either your kid is a genius or there's something really wrong with him/her!

"...a heart RENDERING moment..." WTF?

Comes with the FREE bonus CD, "500,000 Children's Head Injuries Can't Be Wrong!"

I didn't have one of these as a child.

Actually, that explains alot.

*zips in*

That is sooo cute it makes me want to have a baby so I can get one - almost!

By the way, has anyone seen Amy around today???
No, no special reason, just wonderin'...

*zips out*

"Promotes early helmet wearing habits."

Sure, that sounds good now, but the next thing you know, your kid's wearing a hardhat to senior prom and you're going to Hel-Anon meetings...

Replace the "Th" with "P" and we might have an answer to the Ohio pregnancy problem.

The first thing I thought of when I saw these helmets was the time my oldest daughter bumped her head on the coffee table and got a big lump on her forehead. I felt so guilty that I got rid of it. The coffee table, not the daughter.

When my son was about 5 he fell and his his head on the cement garage floor. I felt guilty too but we couldn't get rid of the whole garage. :)

To be honest, I think the helmets are a good idea. Sure we think it looks silly, but people have no idea how serious and damaging head injuries can be. The company is looking to cash in on something important that society does not understand.

When my daughter was 7 she got hit in the head with a baseball bat (birthday party pinata and she didn't stay out of the way)...I felt so guilty I never let her have any more friends.

OK, OK. The real reason I got rid of the coffee table is it was really extra-super ugly. I just used the guilt trip excuse on my husband so I could get new furniture.

I always thought helmets should be mandatory for ALL activities. This is just the next logical step.

SafetyFirst - do you mean ALL activities, including dog weddings at the beach?

We should all wear one of these ...Cranial injuries recognize no age borders ..They would look good at the office , shopping or after a nine or ten beers ......

When babies in helmets are outlawed, only babies in helmets will be outlaws.

*scratches head*
*Did that come out right?*

Ummm... I would think it would cause kids to overbalance. Besides, my son still bonks into stuff with his head (in fact, he says, "Bonk" everytime). How is he going to learn if it doesn't hurt? Oh right... he will just KNOW.

NO, WAIT, we shoudl just encase babies in an inflatable body suit until they are fifteen. That'll make it all better. And they couldn't ever take it off, because aforementioned son also rolls around int eh crib and bonks various body parts there too.

You know, I hit my sister in the head with a baseball bat when she was two, and she turned out fine.

THen again, she's a cheerleader.

"Can I buy you a drink?"
"Get lost!"
"Dang, why can't I pick up women?"
"Maybe lost the Thudguard?"
"Hey - she's cute, but I'm not risking my fontanelle for her."

---

Frankly, if my kids were allowed to wear helmets around, they'd just smash into everything with their heads. That's why I force them to wear a nail hat as soon as they get mobile. They might bump into something ONCE.

Thank God I wasn't the only one who noticed "heart-rendering"!

Um ... correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't the fontanelle located on the top of my baby's head? That's another name for her "soft spot," right? The only way she could damage it would be to somehow fall directly onto something spiky with the top of her head. Even my children aren't THAT talented.

Also, having your heart rendered sounds a lot more uncomfortable than just falling down and bumping your head. Where can I get some kind of guard against getting my heart rendered?

Is it wrong that I think that's adorable? Maybe I just like babies in hats. Although, the purpose of the little ears on top is kind of lost on me.

Wedding day:

Mom: Here, son. I have a new helmet for you, made just for this occasion.

Son: Mom, I think I can make it down the aisle without falling and hitting my head.

Mom: No dear. It's for tonight. You know, the headboard....

Oh, Ha Ha I get it "PudGuard" , yeah, good one. But seriously, suppose it would help to retro fit one of these deals on, say, Paris, Brittany, Courtney (nah!), Madonna, etc?

So the choices are to have your kids outfitted with a ridiculous looking helmet, or allow them to incur a serious head injury--after which they have to wear a doctor-mandated ridiculous looking infant's hockey helmet.

Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

what, no side-holders for sippy cups?

Did they really need an image for this?

http://www.thudguard.com/page_layout/color_text.jpg

"acceptable form of pain for learning", anyone?

Dave,

Send one to Britney. That kid's gonna need one.

Heart-rendering is when the CIA sends your heart to a stern but accomodating country where they know how to deal with vermin scum hearts who threaten America's fontanelles.

I may get one of these just cause the name makes me giggle. Of course, I don't have an infant. But I am clumsy, and I have a rather small head (NTTAWWT).

Holy crap, Aunt Nancy responded to my post! And I was wasting my time working, running errands, and eating dinner. I'm so sorry!

Aunt Nancy had a safety question as to whether helmets should be worn at ALL activities, including dog weddings at the beach. I'm sure that was a retorical question, since she obviously knows the documented hazards of that activity!

I also like silver's inflatable body suit idea. Not only would that greatly reduce injuries, but it might also help with the pregnancy issue they have at Canton high school. Either that, or it would bring new meaning to "popping" a cherry.

Sadly, my initial reqction was, "Where was this product when I needed it?" My youngest son had a nasty habit when he was 1 or 2 years old of banging his head on the floor whenever he got upset. We had to find him a bicycle helmet (to protect the floor). Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a bicycle helmet for a 2-year-old?

Parenting 101: Don't hit your head on that table, you might break the table!

Also, "America's Fontanelles" sounds like the next kid-friendly music group.

This particular helmet would look fabulous, just fabulous with Dave's blue shirt.

I've thought about wrapping my kid in bubble wrap, but it's way too time consuming at diaper change time.

Got to agree with rick h... don't know how I ever survived my childhood. Didn't even have fireproof jammies and we even used to (gasp) run when we played!!

How about a quick game of Lawn Darts?

I am not sorry, I find them cute and ideal for babies. You all seem tho think the hat has to stay on all of the time, it clearly says its for learning to walk which is about a couple of times a day until they are more confident. And the Thudguard information is right - infants will learn from pain when the scrape their hands and knees when they fall but, as the Doctor on the web site said, "even one head injury is too much"!

Laugh all you like but until your little angle smacks their head for the first time and you feel guilty on the way to ER, you may want to hold back on the laughter!

Mum of 4

Oh God! It's official - the wife said we have to get a FudGuard now!!!!! Or was it ThudGuard? Perhaps if we had a FudGuard in the first place we would'nt need to get a ThudGuard for the little shit!

I have three kids, I have never had to take one to the ER because they bumped their head. All my kids seem to be normal, functioning above average too, maybe it's from all the head bumping?

This thing should come with shin gaurds

TFF

I dont think that people realize that there are children out there and really need a helmet. My son has a bleeding disorder and any hit to the head can be serious. Any hit to any babys head can be serious. I can believe how many people make jokes about dropping their children. Im sure that some of the ones that are making the jokes have a child that needs one.

The comments to this entry are closed.

-
 
Terms of Service | Privacy Policy | Copyright | About The Miami Herald | Advertise