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July 23, 2005


Go here and click on the link to see explicit video of the toilet AND the woman's knee AND the husband poking around the house with a shotgun. Also you will hear the anchorperson explicitly use the term "heebie-jeebies."


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first....kind of an empty victory. it is saturday.

omgosh. no wonder she couldn't see anything. ok, now i feel sorry for the snake.

(bad llama!)

But doesn't she have the sweetest face!?! She looks like a very good hearted woman.

Wow! Judging by the size of the woman, it had to be a giant anaconda!

Hey, Dave,

You've got a lot of experience with toilets, having been a landlord. Did anything ever come up through the pipes, or were all the problems things that didn't go down?

The husband is Jeff Foxworthy meets Steve Irwin-- I mean who hunts down a snake with a shotgun, really?

Lou Bricant,

Anybody who wants to kill it and isn't interested in saving the skin to make boots. Or, whose priority is "Dead Snake" and doesn't care if he blasts holes in his house.

Sondra, yes, she honestly does have a sweet face. and prolly a great personality too. i'm just glad i wasn't standin' in the doorway.

A picture is worth a thousand words.

That is all.

Dave, just how old was this alleged anchorman if he was using the term heebie-jeebies anyway?

Two words -- "toilet shy".

"They said, doctors told them, given the size of the snake, if it would have bitten him instead of Alicia, he probably would not have survived."

I think the doctors actually said: "...given the size of Alicia..."


Tell him it's kind of like what goes on in a meat packing plant. You know that it happens, but you'd never want to watch it.

.... glad I live here..... not even gonna VISIT Florida, not ever, now......not even for the best Medical Meeting on the Planet...

And for all you Skinny-Minnies,YOU would have not survived the snake bite, either

...nor the next famine......EB. Prepared. (No shotgun, though.)

Good point bbescuela!
In fact, given the size of Alicia, a bull moose would come out on the losing end!

As for having to poke around the house with a shotgun, I have to do this every time my wife spots a spider.

Good thing you don't live Up North, DaBlade.... and I do all my own spider killin'....

It does give one a sick kind of Satisfaction.....

scat -
Kudos to your son who was the only one brave enough to say what everyone here has been thinking since we saw the picture!!

DaBlade - I feel the same way about moths that your wife does about spiders - Can I call you? :)

cyn - I meant to say this earlier -

A first is a first is a first, no matter what the day of the week!

Huzzah! (OTD term)

Eleanor- No problem, give me a call. No job is too small. Let the moth dust fly!

I imagine this is the first time her 400-lb.+ physique actually did her a favor -- her size probably saved her life.

the would be trooper: so did he get the job?

An Excuse for Speeding:

My husband/wife fell out a few miles back; I'm afraid he'll/she'll catch up!

Getting out of a Ticket:

I read this in Reader's Digest. A woman was out driving with a friend and was pulled over for speeding. The officer asked her for her license and registration. She handed them over, along with a little orange card. The officer looked over the license and registration, then looked at the little orange card, chuckled, and told her to drive on. Amazed, her friend asked what the little orange card was. She replied, "It was the get-out-of-jail-free card from my Monopoly game."

I would like to say that there are parts of the country that have no problem tracking wild creatures in the house with a gun. There is a guy in the area that I live who shot 6 holes in his ceiling trying to kill a bat. Yes, these are scary people.

Shot at a BAT?? When we get bats in our house (as we frequently do) we just chase them out the door with brooms. They aren't dangerous, and you'd have an icky mess to clean up if you shot one. I like your name too, ncc1701. Took me a minute to recall where I'd heard it though. :-)

I never said that he was intelligent, just that he carried a gun. I guess the bat was "swooping"
which in his case called for drastic measures. And to you all...live long and prosper.

ncc1701 - I bet it's just not the same without Scotty - condolences :(

ncc1701 - you sound like an enterprising fellow...

Oh, and BTW - my brother (who speaks from personal experience) says that tennis racquets are great for chasing bats out of your house.

Aunt Nancy- *snork*

Our house is really old and has high ceilings. Tennis racquets would be too short to reach the bats. They nest in our attic and they get in the house quite frequently; we're not sure how. Once my mom and sisters were watching Batman and a bat flew down the stairs into the living room. No joke.

Just an aside, but I saw the ad before the clip and it mentioned Pigeon Forge. And if you've never been to Pigeon Forge, you are missing a life experience. They have more go-kart tracks per capita there than anywhere else. It's the kind of place I would threaten to take my kids if they were bad. It is, afterall, the home of Dollywood.

stuman and all, *snork, snork, spew*

*loves stuman a cup of his favorite coffee: "chock full o' booze"*

bilge, dollywood?...i heard she wooden:)

Scotty was sad. For Spock may have to take a long weekend.

Memo to judi/Dave:

It's time for a new post.
*will check back in one hour*

*zips out*

Good story, i-m, arsenic as medication! What's next? Will they try using leeches??? *snork*

Second Memo to judi/Dave:

We who have no life, of for those of us in too hot weather to "do" life, really need you to help us out here! :)
I thought I was being reasonable by waiting one hour......? :)

JUDI...... Beep Beep! Red Light!
Holy Smoke!!! Please remove my last post! OMGosh.
just learned sumpin' the toopid way.
please have Respect brainiacs. pfftt, brainiacs. i'm one to talk. ahhhhhhhhhh.

MeThinks the snake was acting in self defense! After all, how would YOU feel if she was to sit on .... nevermind!

Cyn, what're you talking about? Did I miss something here?

nevermind. sorry. problem solved. whhhhoooo. i need internet fer dummies.
i'll go now.
(*heart: thumpthumpthump...thump.....thump................................................................)

B...for a minute there thot my mailbox was accessible (effsp) from the link. mebbbe for a few mins? for forinsics buffs,yes,i just died little:|

bethcha i redirect boredom wiser. ~yikes~

oh no. fruitian slurp. somebody stop me, please.

IAS would somebody please have the decency to start another conversation? Please.

How about those Yankees? *snork*

No new material?

:heebie jeebies setting in:


My e-mail is not working. First my computer and my e-mail weren't working although I don't understand how one's computer can't go to any site when it's on, you have cable and your modem lights are blinking! But I am not an IT person, so....?
So, I rebooted (after getting back from Arby's where I went to calm myself) and now the sites seem to be OK, but not the e-mail.

I don't want to sound conceited like the really popular kids in junior high school did, but I'd venture a guess that this is the most exciting piece of news posted on this thread today. :)

The girl who took my order at the speaker thingy had a very heavy accent and was difficult to understand, and when I got to the window I saw that she had a front tooth missing and also spoke with a lisp, which I then realized was the problem at the speaker -
not very god PR, IMO - and my sandwich is awful, so all in all the whole trip was pretty much a disaster, but my e-mail is working again....

I guess you can't have everything.... (could be a life lesson)

*zips out to look for a life*

Just to give you an idea of how utterly desperate I am for mental stimulation (thanks alot, Dave), I was thinking about you going to Arby's, Elle, and I had an epiphany.

Share this moment of wonder with me.

Arby's=RB's=Roast Beef.

Send the Nobel Prize to Long Island.

Happy Pioneer Day!!

*applauds wildly in recognition of Amy's deductive reasoning!!!

Bravo, bravo!!!!
*not desperate for mental stimulation any more*

It took me a long time to figure out the Arbys sign was a hat. When I was little I thought for several years that it was a big scoop of ice cream. It is weird looking. I applaud you too, Amy. Obviously I'm not as brilliant as you. :-)

I have to go now, but here's something to entertain and fascinate - be sure and
scroll down!

*zips our*

That would be out!

Look at the pictures!

Eleanor, you have zipped us with something a bit stale:) Wasn't this on the blog before? Were you the one who posted it before? Are you trying to make fun of someone who apparently suffers from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder? Of course I know you're not! But I have read this before and think it was right here on the DBB.

Now let's have a moment of praise for a water mocassin with fangs long enough to pierce the first layer of fat on Alicia's corpulent body. Maybe he chewed.

I hope everything is ok with Dave and Judi. I mean, what if they had a really big argument about which of them was supposed to blog next and then they got so mad at each other that they just stopped talking and won't blog at all until the other one apologizes? Or, maybe they're mad at us and won't blog until we make it right somehow.

Maybe we should sacrifice a virgin, just in case.

spinner8, I was gonna sacrifice a virgin, but, alas, of the only two I could find in my (red)neck of the woods, one got stuck in her bathtub, and the other one refused to attend the ceremony alone.

Has to be a virgin, does it? All right. Come get me. I'll sacrifice myself so you can have some new articles. I've got nothing better to do at the moment, seeing as there are no new articles. Aren't we pathetic?

Couldn't find it on google, but anyone remember the Far Side comic where two women are being carried up the side of a volcano by a couple of tribesmen, and one woman is saying to the other, "And you were afraid they wouldn't like Americans. Why, these people just lit up when I explained we were Virginians!"

pathetic NO. addicted YES.
and our dealers have evidently scrammed with the product.

SM...stuck in the bathtub?? was it snakebite girl? dish!

How does she afford all that junk?

that will teach me to hit the wrong button...what i meant to say was: hello to dave and judi. and i havent anything to say. except that saturday was my birthday.

Let's all sing Happy Birthday to queensbee!

Hey. it might kill some time 'til the next blog *sigh*

So...Do you guys think we should break down and tell Daves boss that they played hookey all weekend?

hmm, Or is it possible that they're not blogging anything because we're not sending anything? MAYBE, we should flood their mailbox with tons of different articles for them to choose from. Maybe we're just not doing our part.

*zips in for a quick good morning all*

Yes, S.M. that was blogged a long time ago but I thought that some newbies might not have been here to see it and further that the not-so-newbies would have something to do for a little while to ease the desperation!

*zips out to read all new posts*

Hooray! We are saved!!!!


I've read many wonderful columns. I wanted to tell you of an experience in Montgomery, AL, where I used to live. We opened our swimming pool for the season and found about 30 frogs mating in the skimmer -- froggy orgy. The next year we had rolly-pollys sneaking into the house. Of course, there were always the giant flying roaches. Isn't the South fun? Steve Moore read your "The Myth of College" that I share with my English students on occasion and said to tell you hi and that he would like to know if you would like to hear a termite joke.

Keep writing.

Your devoted fan,

Jane Varner, now in Little Rock

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