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July 26, 2005

ADVISORY TO SNAKES

Stop messing with Lottie Stanford.

Key Quote: "This is one of those hoes to cut snakes' heads off with."

Related Question: Why are TV "news teams" always posing so as to look like total goobers?

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She grabbed one of those hoes.

She sounds like a fun date.

When I grow up, I wanna be just like Lottie!

You hoe girl!

A snake slicing ho(e)?!?

exactly HOW is Lottie's story related to the goober news people?

Maybe we could strip James from the waist down and send him into Lottie's garden. I'll bet her eyesight ain't the best and we would solve some future problems at the same time.

She's single, I take it?

Allow me to quote a very smart, Pulitzer prize winning author on snakes:
"If we are patient and understanding with the, if we seek to understand what 'makes them tick,' we can succeed in modifying their behavior and bringing them more 'in tune' with modern society."

I think the blog will agree with me when I point out that snakes, like guys, are hopeless.

ref the goobers: the two on the left are siamese twins joined at the head. no accounting for the other two.

They're contractually required to pose so as to look like total goobers. This allows the common man and woman, assumed to be goobers themselves by the stations' marketing staff, to identify with them, thinking, "They're not highfalutin' - they're goobers, just like me and mine. I will watch them and believe every word they say." This works more often than we might hope.

On a brighter note, you don't even need to anagram, just be mildly dyslexic, and goobers becomes: boogers!

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