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July 29, 2005

NEWS NEWS NEWS NEWS NEWS

THE BLOG IS MOVING.

This will be the Final Post on the old blog. The Comments sections will stay open until 8:00 Eastern time tonight (5:00 Pacific).

You can continue to get your blog fixes throughout the night, if indeed there are people out there who like to re-read old blog items that they've already read. Which we would rather not know about.

If you come back here after 3:00 Eastern (noon Pacific time) tomorrow, the blog will have a fresh new face and a new URL.

All old blog items, comments, categories, and bloglits (we hope) will be transferred to the new site. (We aren't posting the URL because there's nothing there; the next time you come here you will automatically be redirected.)

More details are below.

Good night, and have a pleasant tomorrow.

SNAKE TERRORISM UPDATE

We are positng this alarming item even though, as far as we can tell, it does not have any naked people in it.

A GOOD NAME FOR A ROCK BAND

Trouser Tyranny.

Also The Hunting Sporrans.

SPEAKING OF NAKED MEN

While The Blog is still away, we'd better get this done...

WARNING WARNING WARNING

There's going to be a new blog site. We will be moving it this weekend. Well, actually, "we" won't be doing a thing... but the Fabulous ThunderTechs will be moving it this weekend. We have high hopes (BTA) that this will do a lot to stop the spam problem.

We'll post the link, which we hope you'll bookmark (or do whatever it is you do to make sure you can find the blog), here in the final post, later today. All the previous posts (including MOATs) will be moved. And there will be a redirect on this blog for the stragglers.

Any questions?

UPDATE: Remember you can always find the blog from the link at www.davebarry.com.

Nava says the RSS feed will be changing, so you'll have to go to the new blog tomorrow (it should be up about 3:00 Eastern) and get the new link.

Commenting will be shut down at 8 PM Eastern time tonight.

NAKED ACTIVITY UPDATE

Thanks, of course, to Ted Habte-Mullet.

WHY WOMEN HOVER, REASON #2038

OUCH.

(Thanks to Justin Barber)

WHY MUSICAL TRAINING IS SO IMPORTANT

It builds character.

(Thanks to this blog's little brother Sam Barry)

July 28, 2005

ATTENTION, GEEKS

Your beer is ready.

(Thanks to david strickland)

UPDATE: Here's the web site.

THE STREETS OF MINNESOTA TEEM WITH STRANGENESS

strangeness.jpg

MOMENTS LATER, HE WAS CRUSHED BY A GIANT INFLATABLE POOP

snoopy.jpg

WOMEN AND TOILETS

It's not a pretty picture.

CULTURE UPDATE

"Where are you going, dear?"

"Oh, just the museum."

(Thanks to Ted Habte-Gabr)

JUST WHEN YOU THINK YOUR OPINION OF GIANT SQUID COULD NOT GET ANY LOWER

...you read something like this.

July 27, 2005

INADEQUACY UPDATE

It's getting worse.

davemoreinadequate.jpg

ADVICE TO THE SERIOUS SUITOR

Throw in a lifetime supply of McDonald's and you just might have yourself a deal.

(Thanks to Reddsuss)

HMMMMM

They don't actually come right out and say his name isn't "Habte-Varwell"... (Thanks to Mollenkamp)

WACKY WORLD OF ART UPDATE

Eeeyew.

(Thanks to Zaphod)

I FEEL STRANGELY INADEQUATE HERE

daveinadequate.jpg

A MOMENT OF SILENCE, PLEASE

We are going to be very careful not to say anything about this news item that could be misconstrued.

(Thanks to Peter Chianca)

BE CAREFUL, OHIOANS

There's a crime wave on your shores.

(Thanks to Dave Paul)

July 26, 2005

NORTHERN MINNESOTA CULTURAL UPDATE

Photo_072605_001.jpg

NORTHERN MINNESOTA UPDATE

This is a very nice area. Everybody's friendly and there is scenery out the bazooty. The only thing preventing northern Minnesota from being paradise is the presence of approximately 63,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 small but extremely carnivorous flies.

THE LUGE IS FOR SISSY BOYS

Real men sled on lava.

(Thanks to Claire "Aloha" Martin)

POLITICS, SOVIET STYLE

It's not that different from Love, American Style┬╣, apparently.

Key quote: "If anyone has doubts about my manliness, let them send me their wives and they will become convinced of my prowess for themselves," the leader of the Popular Front of Azerbaijan party, Ali Kerimli, told journalists.

(Thanks to Mollenkamp)

┬╣Bloggeezers may have to explain this reference to the whippersnapper contingent.

WE INTERRUPT THIS BLOG FOR A SERIOUS QUESTION

Can somebody please explain what the heck happened?

(Thanks to Cheryl Howard)

MISSED OPPORTUNITY

All things considered, is The Blog a victim of poor vacation planning or what?

(Thanks to queensbee)

UPDATE: Mollenkamp sent in this photo of the event, just to rub it in. Good work, Mollenkamp!

ADVISORY TO SNAKES

Stop messing with Lottie Stanford.

Key Quote: "This is one of those hoes to cut snakes' heads off with."

Related Question: Why are TV "news teams" always posing so as to look like total goobers?

UPDATE FROM MINNESOTA

For family fun you cannot beat driving along the north shore of Lake Superior (or, as the Indians called it, "Lake Erie") looking at the scenery and slowly but steadily consuming an RV-sized box of Cheez-Its from Costco. The scenery is highly scenic, and there is plenty of excellent shopping:

Beaver.jpg

This particular store sold both frozen smelt and leeches:

Leeches.jpg

July 25, 2005

UPDATE FROM THE MYSTERIOUS NORTH

Dougnut.jpg

WORST CIVIC-BOOSTER IDEA EVER?

We report; you decide.

(Thanks to Claire Martin)

ANOTHER CRAPCAM CLUE

Photo_072505_001.jpg

EVEN FOR SNAKES, THIS IS LOW

Now they're getting PR agents.

WHERE IN THE HECK IS THIS BLOG NOW?

Here's a CrapCam clue.

DaveBBQ.jpg

July 23, 2005

UPDATE ON THE WOMAN WHO WAS BITTEN BY A SNAKE WHILE SITTING ON THE TOILET (THE WOMAN WAS, WE MEAN)

Go here and click on the link to see explicit video of the toilet AND the woman's knee AND the husband poking around the house with a shotgun. Also you will hear the anchorperson explicitly use the term "heebie-jeebies."

July 22, 2005

ATTENTION, GUYS

Remember to turn off the stove before you head to the airport.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

IF A PICTURE PAINTS A THOUSAND WORDS...

We're done here.

(Thanks to Prairie Dog)

RELENTLESSLY-SENT-IN HEADLINE OF THE WEEK

(Thanks; you can stop now.)

DO YOU LOVE DOGS AND ENJOY GOOD POETRY?

Then for God's sake do not click here.

(Thanks to Iowacookiemom)

BEFORE THE INTERNET...

There was no Viagra.

(Thanks to golfwidow)

PROMISES, PROMISES

Key quote: "We're concerned people will abuse the list, putting the names of friends on it, that kind of thing," Kachura said in a telephone interview.

(Thanks to JK)

SUUUUUUUUUURE

We definitely believe this.

A THOUGHT FOR THESE TROUBLED TIMES

Let a man come in

And do the popcorn

-- Mr. James Brown

CRIME IN RUSSIA

It has reached a new low.

SPEAKING OF GERBILS AND HAMSTERS

Here's a heartwarming story involving the rescue of a guinea pig in distress.

We do have one question, which is: If the park owners stop putting guinea pigs in distress, won't they (the park owners, that is) eventually get arrested for starving the snake?

July 21, 2005

A PRODUCTIVITY ENHANCER FOR LOVERS OF PEACE

And quiet.

(Thanks to Barry from the message board)

SPEAKING OF GERBILS

You female hamsters out there need to stop smoking now.

SOON TO BE A MADE-FOR-CBS MOVIE

Gerbils

(Thanks to Claire Martin)

AND THEN HE SHOT THEM ALL IN THE THIGH

Jack Bauer takes on several hundred Japanese schoolgirls.

(Thanks to Elton Lau)

AND FOR THIS, WE ARE TRULY THANKFUL

That we don't have to go to Claire Martin's parties.

 
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