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June 30, 2005

VERY BAD NEWS

...for lovers of Olympic competition.

(Thanks to sporting fanatic Ted Habte-Gabr, who is devastated, but not too devastated to send two other urgent items.)

Comments

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first?

well, DUH!!!

Devastated because he hasn't been wearing...tight, protective gear...all these years?

There's a mental image fer y'all. You're welcome.

saggy testicles *snork*

My first 1st. Yeah!!

I would NEVER play beach volleyball topless! Especially with saggy breasts! (Please refer to Newton's law of inertia, aka "Eggs in Pantyhose" phenomenon)

Dave, the first extra is already blogged. But the second extra is a REVOLUTION!!

I play this sport twice a week... think I need to go shopping for some better bras.. HA! Scary.

I was thoroughly enjoying that article until that line about sagging testicles.

Or reverse that.

Why just the testicles? Can't the penis sag some too. No fair!!

Does this mean I can blame beach volleyball and not childbearing?

Yea!!!!!!

Will volleyball stretch other anatomical parts? There are some things that sagging will benefit. Maybe the 2.6" guys should play volleyball.

Having covered women's beach volleyball for years, I once suffered an injury when a bare Brazilian breast was inadvertantly thrust into my cornea in a lockerroom interview mishap. My fiance of the time, made me tell him that story countless times. Ted Hamster-grabber need not waste another moment worrying about this pressing issue. Wait, I assume he was concerned about the sagging breasts ... but there is mention of the sagging scrotum problem as well ... plus the whole Nekkid Zorro thang....

Echo... echo... echo....

Pictures, Dave. We need pictures. How do you know this isn't some made up story? You need verification. Isn't that what journalism is all about?

"Timber Mafia" would be a good name for a rock band.

"Men should also wear tight pants to stop their testicles sagging too far," he said.

I would much rather ditch my volleyball habit, thanks.

saggy volley-boobs wbagnfarb?

I have learned to make my penis 12 inches long. I now fold it in half.

Well, I personally wouldn't mind seeing a professional beach volleyball player's physique poured into a tight pair of pants.

Also, Re: the 'urgent' link:

"It is proving tough to deal with these women," Jharkhand forest official B.K. Singh said. "It has almost become a regular practice for them to strip."

What's so tough about watching women take their clothes off?

...Oh, never mind. Somebody will inevitably link to the eBay-mini-skirt-lady in answer to that.

There once was a man from Kent
his d*ck was so long that it bent
so to save trouble
he folded it double
and now instead of coming he went:)

Peejay: lol!

Re the second, twice-blogged item.
My fellow statesmen, ya gotta be proud. And revolted.

So now we're going to have a new sub-specialty in the field of sports medicine. Treatment of injuries suffered while playing with insufficiently restrained boobs 'n' bags. Such as, fractures and bruises caused by tripping and falling over sagging body parts, or abrasion caused by dragging tender flesh over hot sand!

Do your balls hang low?
Can you swing them to and fro?
Can you tie them in knot?
Can you tie them in a bow?
Can you throw them over your shoulder,
like a continental soldier?
Do your balls hang low?

Tyler-LOL. My dad used to sing that, minus the balls part, of course.

Nothing forces the women to take them . . .

Psst... Ted, I think you should make a note that without protectively tight speedos, Naked Zorro runs (har!) a similar risk. Not that I am at all implying that Ted is connected to Naked Zorro despite his rather alarming interest in that story.

Could professional players get workers comp to cover the surgery?

"The female breasts, even small ones, were not made for swinging up and down 300 times within a short period of time, as happens in beach volleyball."

as happens in beach volleyball. Thank goodness he clarified.

BJ - I like the '300 times' part of that quote. As if the good doctor has some specific scientific idea from having studied his subjects so closely. He might not be able to tell you what the final score was, but he sure did count the bouncing breasts.

Anyone else eagerly awaiting Beth Crowley's detailed report of her own breast-sagging stats and adventures? Anyone?

*crickets*

Me neither.

gratefully echoes targetgirl...please, no more...not here...

what I'm looking for, are tickets for the trampoline competition at the nude olympics

lol targetgirl. I would like to justify myself as I felt a little guilty for poking fun at Beth. Cock and balls are ridiculous appendages, therefore like chickens and monkeys, inherently funny. Breasts and vaginas are beautiful(imho), and therefore do not lend themselves to ridicule or dry scientific analysis. We should poke fun at a Freudian phallic art installion, but who would make fun of a Georgia O'Keefe painting? Poetry is for the female body parts, and mockery is for the male. Why else would God put em out there for girls to point and snicker at?
*stumbles and falls of soapbox*
thank you

*applauds Tyler, helps him off ground near soapbox*

You know, I think Dave needs to start paying more attention to what Judi does around here. I mean how many times has he blogged stuff that she has already blogged sometimes only hours before? It'd be like if my Dad decided to feed us kids dinner at ten, when Mom had already done it at six.

You know, I think Dave needs to start paying more attention to what Judi does around here. I mean how many times has he blogged stuff that she has already blogged sometimes only hours before? It'd be like if my Dad decided to feed us kids dinner at ten, when Mom had already done it at six.

You know, I think Dave needs to start paying more attention to what Judi does around here. I mean how many times has he blogged stuff that she has already blogged sometimes only hours before? It'd be like if my Dad decided to feed us kids dinner at ten, when Mom had already done it at six.

Tyler, as a woman, I own a couple breastes and a "hoo-hoo". They thank you for calling them beautiful.

*dusts self off*
Thank you targetgirl, would you like to play a game of volleyball? Clothing optional of course.

Okay, sorry about the multiple posts guys. The comment thing was being weird and not doing anything, when I pressed the post button. I'll be more careful in the future...

What? I will?

Tyler, Volleyball is actually my sport of choice. And I'm braless today, due to a small skin injury along my braline (ouch). So, I might as well doff it all and leave any errant sagging to the Fates.

*bump*
*set*
*SPIKE*

judi,

You left out WTFBBQ?!? ;-)

judi,
MOAT

LastWriter, why would you complain if you got dinner twice?! I'm not following...

2 of the same post though, now there's no need for that.

*spiked ball careens off of forehead*
targetgirl, I seem to be having trouble keeping my eyes on the ball.

did the moat, don't know the other one myself ;)

Jeff - got it. That made me think of ROTFLMBO, where 'B' is debatably 'butt' or 'balls', depending on your anatomy.

Here is another item for Beth Crowley's Big Book of Vagina Facts:
Beavers can hold their breath for 45 minutes.

You also fogot:

CWI -- Cold Weather Indicator

I can't believe this hasn't been said, but

Sagging TesticlesWBAGNFA(aging)RB.....

*thinking of Rolling Stones*

talking about UNIQUE acronyms, not random ted-related ones.

Hot day at the beach
Bump! Set! Kill! Short shorts, bronze skin
How 'bout those sand-bags?

judi,

I was unaware that His Daveness had surging juggernaut problems. Is there anything the blog can do? Maybe gather up donations or have a 10k for the Surging Juggernaut Cure? Does he need a transplant? Is it Booger related?
What ever it is, tell His Daveness the he need not be shy. The Blog is here to give him comfort and support. And woe betide any person who mocks him and his affliction!

Dr. Khoury(watching slow-mo tape of braless beach volleyball): 239 jiggles... 240 jiggles... 241 jiggles...

Frau Khoury: Georg, do you want sauerbraten for dinner?

Dr. Khoury: Scheiss! I lost count! Oh, well, (rewinds tape) 1 jiggle... 2 jiggles...

HmmmMmm. Exactly how many posts are needed to make a MOAT, as in what's the minimum?

"M-I-C. K-E-Y. M-O-U-S-E."

M.C. - avg moat is 2500 posts

Sagging TesticlesWBAGNFA(aging)RB.....

*thinking of Rolling Stones*

Excellent (if yucky) point, El.

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