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June 24, 2005

NAKED ZORRO UPDATE

It is only a matter of time before Naked Zorro has his own reality show.

(Thanks to Ted Tiki-Gabr, who has displayed an inordinate interest in this story, not that we are suggesting anything)

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It never says...does Naked Zorro have a mullet?

It never says...does Naked Zorro have a mullet?

I can't tell from the photo if Naked Zorro has a mullet or not...but has anyone ever seen Ted and Naked Zorro in the same room at the same time?

Zorro: The Gabr Blade

Dave: It's a small world after all. It's a small world after all. It's a small, small world. (Sorry I couldn't resist.)

I haven't seen a Zorro movie in awhile but if I remember correctly it's no mullet and a cape.

Honest to god, I don't think this is the real Zorro.

Bernie

*streaks through the blog again, mullet proudly whipping through the air*

*flashes elle again, hoping for more hot pursuit*

*streaks off to the moat*

Did you purposely change your name to "Naked Zoro" to avoid any trademark conflicts with "Naked Zorro"?

Maybe they're just filming the latest Zorro movie and people are confused...and really it's just Antonio Banderas and they've drastically lowered the budgets for costumes, make-up and hair stylists?

Someone should really let the fine folks of Dullystown know.

-Azamiel

Maybe they're just filming the latest Zorro movie and people are confused...and really it's just Antonio Banderas and they've drastically lowered the budgets for costumes, make-up and hair stylists?

Someone should really let the fine folks of Dullystown know.

-Azamiel

I guess it will be a lot harder to sneak up on people who are wearing your mug shot on their T-shirts.

Ted - you are just playing with fire with all this streaking and such. Just get Inflatable Sally or Dolly the Sheep if that's your thing and call it a day. The blog will really miss you if you get arrested.

Everyone complains about Naked Zorro, until they're saved by Naked Zorro, then they've got nothing but words of praise for Naked Zorro.

This person is a dangerous person following a fantasy and when that fantasy dulls, he'll need to make it more exiting and become more aggressive,” said Chief Donnelly.

I don't know about you, but I usually want my fantasies to be less exiting. Mostly they just point and laugh and then walk out the door, headed for the Home Depot.

I don't know...really depends on what he's saving you from. If it's a bunch of teenage gang-bangers...I'd love to have Naked Ted screaming at them and chasing them away with a sword...but if I'm drowning in the lake? Quite frankly, I don't want his sword anywhere near me.

-Azamiel

*Apparently from work, I'm only capable of double-posting no matter what I do.

Do not question the Naked Zorro. I was using the Tiki Island spelling, in an effort to acknowledge other cultures on the blog!

*streaks off in an embarrassed huff*

*chases Naked Zorro*

WHOA, I didn't know you could have a mullet down there....

Poor Naked Zorro. Bet he was deprived of toys as a child. Only had one toy to play with and now he's trying to share his toy with the other children and noone wants to play.

do not engage him in conversation

("The Streets of Laredo")

As I walked out on the streets of Bucks County
On a late evening walk in Bucks County one night
I saw a masked man as a flash in my vision
He stopped in his tracks and he said with a sigh:

"I see by your outfit that you're not a female.
So I'll keep my pants on while I sing you my song
As you might guess, I'm the one they call Zorro
And naked I'll be if a girl comes along."

"I now have to prove that I'm the true pervert
I don't get a cent from the cheap merchandise
Those copycat flashers got none of my problems.
They're just out for kicks ,they're just normal guys."

"So I'll bang my head loudly and soil myself proudly.
In my cell in the nuthouse when they drag me away.
You tell all your friends that I'm the real Zorro
Then he showed me his Johnson and then ran away."

"I don't know...really depends on what he's saving you from. If it's a bunch of teenage gang-bangers...I'd love to have Naked Ted screaming at them and chasing them away with a sword...but if I'm drowning in the lake? Quite frankly, I don't want his sword anywhere near me."


I think the general idea is that it's perfectly fine to be saved by Naked Zorro in the course of any event that leaves you temporarily blinded. Saved from a mugger at the park in broad daylight? Nah. Saved from a snake that's just sprayed poison in your eyes? Certainly.

The context is everything. Say, I'm in the middle of a rather boring meeting and I need a little pick me up... Having Naked Ted rush into the room could provide a very helpful shot in the arm rarely felt without direct injections of coffee. But if I am shopping for shoes, then Naked Ted is risking his life and limb... well, ok, I'd probably aim more for life and appendage here... by interrupting. See? It's all context....

nude and lewd behavior

Sounds like some of the guys I used to date!!! *snork*

That is SO not the real sketch. You KNOW they didn't see his FACE, although they probably got the mask right.

So bring out the real sketch, and then, Ted, show us your [sin-sword] so we can compare.

Insom: Bravo!

Wonder what he makes the "Z" sign with.

Indeed...context is everything with Naked Ted. I just wonder what would draw more attention? The sword or the mullet?

-Azamiel

Officials are asking that if you see this man to not confront him or engage in conversation just call police

What if he engages you in conversation first?

Yeah, I think it would be embarassing for Ted, er, sorry, Naked Zorro, if he were to pop into a business meeting (to give it some pick up), and everyone in the meeting pointed at his head and started to laugh, saying:

"You see, he DOES have a mullet!"

BTW, Naked Zorro does NOT have the ability to carry the "so-called" letter from their hair-stylist that contradicts this assertion.

It says "just call police"
With no period on the end of the sentence. So that must not be the complete sentence. So my question is, "just call the police WHAT?"

Officials are asking that if you see this man to not confront him or engage in conversation

What am I going to say to him? "How's it hangin'?" That'd be pretty obvious, wouldn't it?

the suspect has been following women dressed only in a Zorro mask and white sneakers

Well if that's how the women dress there, I might move to Bucks county myself!

Everyone complains about Naked Zorro, until they're saved by Naked Zorro, then they've got nothing but words of praise for Naked Zorro.

hehe Good one, Spooner...

Officials are asking that if you see this man to not confront him or engage in conversation just call police.

*Naked Zorro jumps out from behind a tree*

INNOCENT WOMAN: Oh! You're all naked but for a mask and white sneakers!

NAKED ZORRO: Yes! This is true! Look upon my nakedness and fear me!

*silence*

NAKED ZORRO: Go ahead! Fear me!

INNOCENT WOMAN: Why the sneakers? I don't get it.

NAKED ZORRO: *sigh* It's so that I can run away fast and not hurt my feet.

INNOCENT WOMAN: Oh... Yeah. That makes sense.

*silence*

INNOCENT WOMAN: Where did you get the mask?

We were just following a developing story. Something the main stream media generally has given up on unless it involves a celebrity relationship status, and accused or on trial celebrity, a runaway bride or some indescrtion by someone in the media.

Why,m then, the Zorro story you might ask. Thats because i woudl send the blog great stories about solving social security or on stem cell research but none of you woud care.

More Zorro to follow...

developing,

Ted

We were just following a developing story. Something the main stream media generally has given up on unless it involves a celebrity relationship status, and accused or on trial celebrity, a runaway bride or some indescrtion by someone in the media.

Why,m then, the Zorro story you might ask. Thats because i woudl send the blog great stories about solving social security or on stem cell research but none of you woud care.

More Zorro to follow...

developing,

Ted

Ted - do you really think these stories will detract us from our fascination with your mullet?

I think not.

Only a haircut will do that. Do you see a non-mullet haircut in your immediate future?

I had no idea stem cells could cure a mullet! Ted, that's fascinating! Those are definitely the kinds of stories we would like to see...send them onward to Dave and Judi, please.

-Azamiel

I find Naked Ted far more interesting than Social Security. Especially since there is about to be no Social Security anyway so what kind of a story would that be?

My question is, Ted, can we rent your Naked Zorro act for budget negotiation meetings? And if you can arrange to sit on the CEO's lap and flap his tie in a coquettish fashion, would there be an extra charge for that service?

Naked Zorro =

Darker on Oz (WBAGNFARB)
A Dr. Zoner, OK?
A Zen Dr. Rook
Dr. Neo Ozark
Rank Dr. Ooze
Dank or zero?
Re-drank zoo
Razor Ned, OK?
OK. Rad? Or Zen?
Zero. OK. Darn.

OoNot only did I beat a dead horse, I beat it twice.

Officials are asking that if you see this man to not confront him or engage in conversation just call police.

Definitely avoid any intercourse with him.

I get a haircut tomorrow and it will be the same style trim I have had for the last many years. i will let Patti know about all of this mullet nonsense, and I am sure she will have a response.

Ted

Hey Mister! Watch-it where your point is pointing!

... you sure you really need a sheath for that thing!?

... so ...

beating a dead horse ...

Is that like "Flogging the Pony"?

"Flogging the Monkey"?

"Spanking the Monkey"?

Inquiring minds ... um ... nevermind ...

elle - side shot photo confirms....

ISU? ISU? *burst of derisive laughter* Friends don't let friends go to ISU! Cyclones totally suck, particularly at football. *looks forward to Hawkeye-ISU football game, when the Big 10 Co-Champions will stomp the ridiculous little Cyclones into the field.*

Reddsuss...is there snow involved?

Desert Rose - the 'clones don't suck as bad as they used too. McCarney's teams at least keep the games close. Now, twenty years ago, you'd have been right on, when Criner the Whiner was the coach. And this year, the 'clones have home field advantage. If they can develop a kicking game, it would help.

P.S. Not only do friends let friend go to ISU, but my husband's company is paying for his Master's in Systems Engineering from ISU. And his MBA from the U of Iowa.

P.P.S. Iowa State has the better marching band.

*ducks to avoid whatever Rose throws at her*

Oh, and Rose? It could have been worse. Ted could have been lecturing at Illinois!!

ISU is the other school. The university in iowa city is THE University of Iowa.

Of course the University of Iowa is the University of Iowa. And ISU is ISU, UNI is UNI, Drake is Drake, and so on and so forth. Whatever. Big deal. The intra-state rivalry pretty much bores me because too many people make too big a deal out of it. I just knew alot of band people from ISU, and I still get a chuckle from the story where the ISU band went on a road trip with the football team and put a "The Band Without A Team" sign in the bus window. That really put a knot in the shorts of the ISU athletic director. (hee hee hee!)

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