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June 22, 2005

HEADLINE OF THE DAY SO FAR

(Thanks to Doug Boeringer)

Comments

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it's not nice to call the wombat a freak

At least it wasn't a big pile of marsupial dung. That would be worse. Or in some ways better.

Are you sure Dave didn't write this article?

Mallacoota, Mallacoota, Mallacoota, Mallacoota

Mallacoota, Mallacoota, Mallacoota, Mallacoota

Stop me if you've heard this one before:

Q: Why did the wombat cross the road...?

a HOLLYWOOD movie? no, you mean a pythonic movie. and now, news for wombats.
now i have to get coffee out of the keyboard.

I do like saying it, but not in a dbl post.....
Also.."Mark Tregellas and the Wombat Freaks" wbagnfarb

Let's count the GNFRB's in this relatively shore article:

1) Freak Wombat Accident (the obvious)
2) Gippsland Wombat and the Airport Mallacootas
3) Mallacoota
4) Mark Tregellas and the Senior Constables

Did I miss any?

sj - my thoughts too. I mean, did the wombat in question have two heads?

Er, "short" article that is.

Is there any other kind of wombat accident except "freak".

Tell 'em to go out there with all they got and hit one in the Gippsland.

Bad Day for A Wombat w(also)bagnfarb...

Sounds like a typical chapter in a Tim Dorsey book.

tropichunt.com guy:

Answer: Because the chicken bet him $50 it couldn't be done.

Also, "Victorian Police" might bagnfarb. As in, Every Breath You Take on the harpsichord.

Because it was a realist wombat and not a transendental wombat?

Beause he thought he was a chicken and they needed the eggs?

thanks, christobol.

heaven knows it's hard enough to be wombat in this world without the perjoratives.

what we need to do is enhance his wombat self esteem. then he is less likely to either have to corss roads to avoid people or have accidents.

can't we all just get along?

Thanks to WHOM???? *I* submitted this article YESTERDAY. Are you telling me that this other person submitted it before me?

*grumble, grumble*

Attention:
I have no idea who this person who SAYS he is my brother is. I know for a fact I have only two UGLY sisters. I disown you, whoever you are. You need to cease and desist from using my name, likeness, or a bad facimily of my biting sarcasm. If you do not, I will seek reparations in Internet Court. I will pursue, and receive from YOU, the sum of 1 billion internet dollars (to be redeemed at one of three online casinos). I realize this seems harsh, but I WILL have justice. Also, my name will now be "jaws" as I can only post intermitantly for fear of my job. I will sweep in and out when you least expect it and destroy Ted Habte-Mullet all over again. That is all. ("b&d's brother" is a freak! Avoid him like the plague!)

Nice bit of redundancy here:

"The car was completely totalled and surprisingly both men on board were without injuries whatsoever."

That's not the headline of the day, it's the headline of the month.

GNFARB?

Mallacoota Airport

GNFA Meat Loaf song:

Airborne Off the Side of a Bridge

real mccoy: yes, actually. he sent it in before you. i swear.

No, the wombat was not maligned.

It is the accident its ownself which was called "freakish" by the constablularial staffers.

A question or six may be asked, however.

How friggin' big was this wombat? (LAtFCDA thot wombats were a smaller-than-average version of this type of critter.)

Are the constables certain that beer was not involved?

Are they sure that the tree did not, in actuality, leap out onto the road, forcing the auto in question to fall into disrepair?

If beer was not involved, LAtFCDA agrees that the wombat was possibly a contributing factor in the mishap ... but as an abettor only, not as a robber or bulgarer ...

No, I think it was the wombat who'd been drinking the beer. See, he was studying Pre-Raphaelite Art, and he found out that Dante Gabriel and Christina Rosetti were quite fond of wombats and kept a few as pampered pets, and he got so depressed about the end of the Pre-Raphaelite movement at the beginning of the 20th cent., which would explain the Victorian police, that he had a few too many beers and just didn't see the car coming.

"Victoria was the scene of a freak wombat accident today, when two wombats driving a station wagon were hit by 6 freaks in a VW bus...."

(Apologies to George Carlin)

Legal Aide...

When I was in Australia, I was introduced to a wombat. He wasn't much bigger than a football, but was dense with muscle. I was told that hitting a wombat with a car does terrible damage to the car.

Wombats are best described to the uninitiated as "boulders with hair". They are very low-to-the-ground, round and dense. They get up to about 70 pounds, I'd say. Because of their size and shape and density, they generally total a car when they're hit.

Well, OK, Judi, I guess I'll have to take your word for it....

Well, tnx4 all the wombat input ... that clears up a few things that might have been better left to the imagination ...

Wombats then would seem to be similar to badgers here in rural America ... I ran over one once with a full-sized Pontiac (back in the days when they were made of metal, not plastic) and I stopped and went back to look for it ... no sign of it ... apparently the badger just shrugged off the Pontiac like ... water off a duck's (not Federal) back ... to mix metaphors, slightly ...

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