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June 21, 2005

EVER WONDER WHAT HAPPENS TO BARBIES AFTER THEY ARE DISMEMBERED BY LITTLE BROTHERS?

They enjoy a happy a new life as creepy jewelry.

(Via OhGizmo!)

Comments

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That is mildly disturbing. But I'm somehow aroused.

Did I say that out loud?!?

*fades into the background*

Now why couldn't I think to dismember my Barbie doll and create a fashion faux pax?

For years, I've been throwing out my daughters dolls when she gets more on her birthday. I wonder if this site buys old dolls?

Was I the only one who read Dave's headline as what happens to babies? If not, was I the only one who clicked the link anyway?

Oh, when I saw the headline I thought it said "Babies."

Which is worse: To end up as jewelry, or at the bottom of the toy box, lying naked and disheveled next to an old Tickle-Me-Elmo? I say toss up.

Not only naked and disheveled, but often headless also. Occasionally with a tattoo drawn on the thigh.

Thinks: "Wow, this would make a great unique gift for my girlfriend."

Looks at $1,200 price tag.

Thinks: "If my girlfriend was Christina Ricci."

So I've been up all night (I'm having trouble sleeping), and what do I see this morning in my sleep-deprived state? That's right, a story about Paris Hilton. Talk about being freaked out. Now I'll never get to sleep.

The doll jewelry is kinda creepy, too.

bleah. and the rest of the jewelry is ugly AND expensive.

*sigh*
a butt brooche...just perfect.

I kind of like the Scrabble necklace, though. It scores 3 points in my book.

Cynthia, "Butt Brooche" has that certain ring, doncha think?

A necklace of hands? Kool. Suppose we shouldn't show this to Hannibal Lector?

A Barbie boob necklace. The epitome of class? Dave reports; we decide.

My decision: no. Although it might come in handy if you get tired of men staring at your own boobs.

Cooooooool!

EWWWWW and gagamundo. Yes, I thought it said "babies", too.

Barbie jewelry - when you care to chop the very best.

Barbie Ramparts!?

*goes back to look!*

EWWWWW and gagamundo. Yes, I thought it said "babies", too.

Barbie jewelry - when you care to chop the very best.

that's disturbing. i'll most likely have nightmares.

thanks dave!

More than mildly disturbing. Seems like something you'd find on a particularly nasty Law & Order SVU perp.

Gross.

Now we know what happened to Kens parts.

Peaceful1...yeah..."jungle, jungle"


kibby...Hannibal?!...*snork*...ewwwwwwww.

I wouldn't wear it. I mean, what if you were in a lightning storm, got struck, and they came ALIVE?

You have to think about these things.

I've been thinking of a new product to market so I suppose this thread is the perfect place to test market it.

Remember back-scratchers? Suppose you could purchase a mannequin's arm and hand as a back-scratcher?

Think they'd sell?

I could even install a loop so it could be hung in the shower? Accessory item is a spong/pad that could be soaped to make it easy to wash your back.

And think of the "hit" you'd have at the beach for sun screen!?

kibby - I'll take one - great idea!

I thought it said "babies" too, so frankly, I was a little disappointed when I linked :(

Although Barbie is incredibly annoying with all of her vaccuum-clogging, ingestible accessories, anti-gravitational breasts, painted-on underpants and implausible career choices, she deserves a better fate than that. My favorite one was "Veterinarian Barbie" that featured Barbie in pink hot pants, a tightly fitted "lab coat" that barely cleared her bottom and a daisy flowered halter top. Oh and a little stethoscope. I did applaud her break up with Ken, as I had always paired her with GI Joe (with lifelike hair and kung fu grip).

painted-on underpants !!!!?????

Crap!

Although Barbie is incredibly annoying with all of her vaccuum-clogging, ingestible accessories, anti-gravitational breasts, painted-on underpants and implausible career choices, she deserves a better fate than that.

Dude, my Barbie never had painted on underpants. Of course, she WAS Dirty Slut Barbie... Remember? The one with the snap crotch fishnet body stocking...

Rats! The site's been whanged, or snogged, or something'ed and now I don't get to see what everyone's talking about.

sounds like some serious witchcraft going on...wear the barbie eye brooch and it will see everything, including your boss cheating with the new intern, someone copying their butt on the copy machine...

Polly - if you still have that, along with Spank Me Elmo, you could make a mint on ebay.

*likes Polly's version!*

gee,
i've used mannequin hands on some of my crosses, maybe i should start salvaging barbies instead. thanks for the inspiration!

I too misread it as babies.

Nevertheless, this is just plain creepy and more than mildly disturbing and completely lacking in taste.

Watch for it to show up in one or both of the Paris Hilton weddings.

Oops...we've exceeded her bandwidth. Guess I'll just have to imagine it (no, maybe not.)

Just wanted to say again...

MORE than mildly disturbing.

I read the headline as babies too. Then, when I saw the comments of others that said that they MISREAD the headline, I went back to the headline THREE TIMES and still saw BABIES!!!! To make matters worse, Dave Berry fans have undoubtedly broken the site so I couldn't see what everyone was talking about. I wonder if my boss would hire an assistant to explain this blog to me. What? I'm supposed to be WORKING?????

My imaginary assistant would also have to teach me how to spell BARRY.

We never dismembered our Barbies; just took their clothes off.

However, most of our Ken dolls were headless; and one was missing a leg.

Then there's the blonde Ken whose hair we tried to darken with a laundry marker. That made him look like "Really Bad Toupee Ken".

All of them were missing "little Ken". Apparently that was what was meant by "accessories not included."

if you're going to hang game pieces about your neck, how about Monopoly tokens? I'm sure someone could even whip up some kind of correspondence between personality types and your choice of token:

dog - self-explanatory
boat - likes traveling, won't stick around long
money bag - again, self-explanatory, although should be explained if you have money or want money
hat- you're covering a mullet
shoe- foot fetish
cannon- obvious phallic reference
thimble- domestically minded
race car - see cannon
horse - 'hung like a..'
iron- see thimble

But what if the parts were just left over from playing "Spanish Inquisition" Barbie? *ruthless laughter* I'm also probably one of the few people who was not traumatized by seeing her whacked to bits. I'd _never_ pay for pieces of her, though. DUH!
Do you know that if Barbie was a real person, she'd be 6'6", but she'd have to walk on all fours because of her ridiculous proportions? On the other hand, it would make her a lot easier to kick. *more ruthless laughter*
So could I make money by hacking Barbies to bits and selling them the pieces?

"Bandwidth Limit Exceeded."

Bloglitts are a power to be reconed with!

I always thought 'Bandwidth Exceeded' meant you were too fat for your underpants...
Moving right along, who remembers the big to-do about ten years ago about the Ken doll with the cock-ring?

Bandwidth-challenged. Sigh.

Is it wrong that I was only mildly interested in seeing the site UNTIL I read all your comments? Now I wonder what I am missing.

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