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June 09, 2005

EBAY ITEM OF THE DAY

Is it just the s.b., or does "shapeshifter erotica" open up a can of worms that simply should not be opened in civilized society?

(Thanks to Mahatma Jane)

Comments

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Oh my, the jokes just write themselves with this one. I don't even know where to begin.

I'm not sure I'm old enough to be reading this type of thing.

Oh yeah. First?

I don't get it, Dave. Sounds like a perfectly legitimate and realistic possibility to me...

Guess not.

"Hey baby, in the mood?"

"No."

"Awww come on."

"No. Last time you shape-shifted into an octopus and our video ended up getting people fired."

"But you liked it."

"That's not the point."

"I've figured out how to become a Brad Pitt Octopeni."

"You've got six hours. That's it."

I dunno about shapeshifter, but the erotica part sounds fun.

Personally, I like the vampire books.

Can you shape-shift into someone who can paint my living room?

That's the line my husband used on me. "Honey, I need a mate so I can return home and you seem to fit the bill so what say we 'do a few laps around the pool' "

That line gets me everytime...

sorry rufus

Heehee. The description said "strokes".

God I need a nap.

So its a book about doing the breast stroke ?

Sean - I think it's a dirty book!

I'm shocked.

Something tells me from the other stuff she is selling she is a lonely woman ....Someone needs to go show her a good time , ya know , take one for the team ... I nominate Christobol ...

"Josh must find a mate"

Boy, I can't count the number of times I've used that line!

Christobol..funny!

Are you sure you want to do that to Christobol, Sean? There must be a reason why she's lonely, like maybe she's an alien shapeshifter vampire from a made-up magical country. Or a 400-pound man. Whichever.

If I wanted shapeshifter porn, I'm sure there's some Magneto/Mistique fanfic out there that's

A) Quite possibly better written
B) About people who are actually interesting individually and while dressed, and
C) Free

She may read smut books (My dad actually calls romance novels "Soft core porn for the middle aged white woman", but I disagree. I am nowhere close to middle aged. They are soft core porn for everybody!) but that doesn't mean she's lonely. She probably gets some very interesting tips...

I don't know about you, but the name 'Josh DeWet' as a swimming instructor cracked me up . . .

VE77 , Really ?!! Thanks for pointing that out ...

I don't know about you, but the name 'Josh DeWet' as a swimming instructor cracked me up . . .

You think this is bad? Recently there was a big stink (okay, a moderate stink) because the Romance Writers of America have banned people with books with certain topics from linking to their website, during which I learned that there is such a thing as werewolf erotica, involving, um, wolf-human relations.
Sorry. Hope you weren't eating.

"This book contains strong sexual content intended for mature readers" should probably be amended to something like "This book contains strong sexual content - all involving dolphins, sperm whales and mermaids - and is intended primarily for sick and/or exceptionally abnormal human beings... and fish."

Josh DeWet made me giggle.
Then I started imaging our Joshie wet and just what would lead up to something like that and then.. erm...
*fans self* is it getting kinda warmish in here or is it just me?

I think a number of women have had encounters with shapeshifters.

"Honest, honey. It USED to be 12 inches"

I think a number of women have had encounters with shapeshifters.

"Honest, honey. It USED to be 12 inches"

slyeyes - you made me giggle. How many times do I have to tell you people that it makes my boss suspicious when I laugh at the contracts I'm working on?

Josh reached out to Jane, touching her creamy, luminous skin with the back of his hand.

Josh's half-lidded eyes grew heavy with desire as he watched Jane's heaving bosom heave. And heave. And heave.

Jane's belly burned with the fire of lust as Josh's hard abs became harder. And harder. And harder.

"But we must not!" Jane says breathlessly.

"Why not?" Josh answers huskily.

"Well, mostly because you aren't human!" Jane says with regret.

"But there are advantages to not being human, my darling." Josh answers with a smile.

"Oh? What are they?" Jane inquires inquiringly.

Josh looks down. Jane looks down.

"Wow. Okay. Nevermind."

Okay. I need to shut my door. I'm gonna get fired.

*insert joke about "Vampire Books" using the word "bite"*

Jane looks over at Josh laying next to her. "I guess some things don't change no matter what the species huh?"

"I am still male." Josh yawns. "You know, that's the problem with women. You take like 20 minutes to get to the same place"

The fires of lust burning in Janes belly begin to go out. "I was stopping to smell the roses" Jane rolls her eyes. "Can you shift into something useful now? Like B.O.B.?"

Josh snores in Janes ear.

Is this the one where he teaches her to shape shift a cup holder and a shelf for the remote?

I guess it's a little late to suggest a "Yellow for Caution" warning.

whoops ;) okay.

daisyj - what, you've never heard of "doggy-style"??

Ooops, TMI....

Shouldn't this book be a HARDcover?

Judi said: "Is it just the s.b. . . ."

Am I clueless or just stupid? (possibly both)

What is s.b.?

Stealth bloggette

Thanks S.E.*


*in case anyone out there is as out of it as me, S.E. stands for Someplace Else.

That is all.

MmmmmMMMMmmmm, Shapeshifter Erotica

C-bol, how do you find the time??

Apparently, the surely soon to be better known Ms. Taylor also contributed to a little book called "The Twelve Quickies of Christmas Volume 2." Shapeshifter erotica seems only appropriate as a follow-up.

C-bol's days are on steroids, so they have 38 hours each. Pretty clever, really.

I still read and reread and can't figure out how Josh is going to shapeshift. The erotic part was pretty clear. But shapeshift? What is he shapeshifting into? A flutterboard? A pool noodle? How can I buy the book if I don't understand the plot?

Meow. It's an actual genre...

If he shapeshifts into a pool noodle, or any kind of noodle really, he will be very little use to anyone. And I'm thinking, not much of an erotic nature will occur.

Jeff - I had the same problem with an earlier link from a**zon but when I hit post on the ques. cont. page it went through - what's up with that?

Beats the heck out of me. (Now I sound like an Anita Blake novel.)

I read through the little book blurb too fast, where it says 'Josh wants her for good...' and I thought it said he wants her for FOOD... hmmm, OK...either a vampire book or a p*$$y-eating shape-shifter...ay caramba...

Dirty Books?

Chaucer!

Rabelais!

Balllllll-zac!

(Trivia time: Who said those above lines?)

The Anita Blake series started out as alt hist mysteries with romance aspects. Around 'Blue Moon' LKH veered off into erotica, and her last five books or so (Blake and Gentry titles) have been hard core porn. Much worse, they're boring. Slapped together for quickie cash with no style or intrigue or emotion or heat. Erotica is a fine genre, but she's blowing it.

(no pun intened)

Oh, and isn't it nice how they released all her books with super-smut covers? Even the ones that weren't smut, poorly written or otherwise?

ps. Josh is clearly the Man From Atlantis; that's a fin in his pocket. Now go make him bark like seal.

U.O. - Eulalie *McKechniey* Shin

I just hope that this does not involve shapeshifting into an actual can of worms. Because that would be the worst shapeshifter erotica ever.

U.O.

Those lines were uttered (repeatedly) by the fine ladies of River City in "The Music Man."

By the way, U.O..... Have you ever noticed how often you or I seem to be the last ones to post to a thread? Is it a time zone thing, or are we just people that shouldn't ever be invited to parties?

"...before getting down and dirty on page 89; and the sex scenes pause on page 377..."

There are 658 pages in this book, which means that only approximately 43% is 'sex scenes'. And you know, 43% of men think about sex more than once per day, according to an ABC Primetime Poll. Because I know that most people, when looking for reasons to say 'sex' a lot of times, will do whatever it takes and even invoke the name of ABC if it suits their sex-driven purposes. Umm...658 pages? Wow.

Marvin, from what I've been told the sex stuff goes on way longer than page 377 - more like 577.

NTTAWWT

alanboss --

Yes, I think so.

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