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May 25, 2005

WHY THIS BLOG DOES NOT SWIM IN THE MISSISSIPPI

Key Quote: No, seriously: It was roughly the size of a sixth-grader.

Comments

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Yeah, right, uh huh . . . 'size of a sixth-grader', suuure it was . . .

Holy carp.

"My adrenaline was really pumping, so it wasn't that bad,"
Just what was he doing to that catfish before he hauled it in?

Yeah, right, uh huh . . . 'size of a sixth-grader', suuure it was . . .

Get Paul Bunyans frying pan and we've got ourselves a road trip to Algona, Iowa.

pass the tartar sauce!

and we thot Texas grew big boys.

Is that a catfish, or are you just glad to see me?

How did he catch that catfish? Noodling with noodles?

SA-LOOT!

My sixth grader weighs 'only' 92 lbs.

and the fish looks smarter then the average sixth grader!

I hope he didn't use a sixth grader to catch it!

Rockchild - LOL!

Rockchild - LOL!

One of my professors in college had a neighbor who once caught a 40-pound catfish in the Mississippi. And no one would take catfish steaks from him. He wondered why, until my prof pointed out that catfish are scavengers and bottom-feeders, and have you SEEN the Mississippi River?

So the guy fed the rest of the meat to his dog, who died a week later. True story.

MOTW, I'm serious!

I hope that dogs name wasn't lucky, because mines was, but our fish ate him! You can read bout it on my blog, I'm not lying!

Journalism today! Geez, all those column inches and they don't even tell us what strength line the guy was using! I'm off to the Field and Stream site, where they really know how to write up this stuff...

Dave,

This site mentions a better reason not to swim in the Mississippi - Bullsharks.

And it has handy hints for avoiding attacks, the best of which is "Never molest a shark of any kind, regardless of size."

jam - The cloumn never says he used a fishing pole, much less line. My guess? Bazooka.

**True Story**
I was building a Medical Center in Jackson, Ms in the early 80's when I read an article in the local paper about people(and I use the term loosely here) who would free dive to the bottom of the lake to catch monster, 80+ pound, catfish with their bare hands. Too find the catfish in the murkey water, they would have to put their hands into hollowed out logs lying on the bottom of the lake, feel for a catfish, grab it and then try to bring it to the surface.
Ya just gotta love the South.
Although the paper never mentioned it, I believe beer is a required part of the ritual.

probably caught in on a trotline, like we used to do back in the day.

Hey, is that the catfishes upper lip, or a pair of shades? Maybe he used a sixth graders teacher as bait! I hope they had a substitute!

Cbol, I have a question regarding the article you linked. It states that dead fish should not be carried when swimming. I've been to a local "swimmin hole" in the Appalachian mountians during the 4th of July holiday. I belive some of those women carry a dead fish with them every where they go, if you know what I mean. Should they stay out of the water?

Mr. Limpet lives!

C-bol...lol...i loved the line:
"If all else fails,try to look prepared to fight
back"
yeah, but i'm pretty sure the urine in the water
would give me away.{:)

Casey,

I liked that tip, too. As to your question, those women should not only avoid the water, but they shouldn't even be wearing anything remotely like a bathing suit. It's best that they stay indoors, fully clothed, under a blanket, with the lights off.

However, they can have a Princess Leia sock monkey puppet if they want.

And just what was he using for bait, I'd wonder?

124 lb. catfish: Well, this .0000001 oz. worm looks mighty appetizing...

Josh - was it fried?

Isn't that fishing spot just downstream from a steriod lab? They'd better quit dumping their 'juice' in the water before we haul in something that can kick butt on the Loch Ness monster (or pinch hit for the Yankees).

Josh - this just in: the bait he used was a mullet.

Geez! That catfish weighs more than my wife...and she's pregnant!

I sat behind a girl in 6th grade that smelled like tuna. Those were my "pre noodlin'" days

Master Chief - that site has convinced me that I should let my 8- and 6-year old boys grow mullets. But that's only because I hate them...

...just kidding, for you readers out there who now are convinced that I am a terrible father. Please put away your machettes.

What do you mean, Schade?

With mullets like those kids your own children might one day grow up to spearhead the next generation's Dave Barry's presidential campaign thing-a-ma-jig. Of Doom.

Or not. We could just be talking about a really big fish...

Does anyone recall the time they pulled those containers of radioactive waste out of the Mississippi by New Orleans? I think they must have missed one or two. That happened when I was in college -- none of us were surprised.

I would like to have MY fish weighed in the presence of a conservation officer!

...nah....I gut nuthin'....

I know something about the size of 6th graders, and let me just say... this fish looks to be the size of a either a 3rd grader or my ex-husband. He'd need another 5 inches to be the size of a 6th grader.

on a serious note...i hope everyone knows that
if a gal smells like fish there is something seriously (common, but) wrong "there".

please slip her an (anoun)note to see a Dr. and
do Not slip her anything else meanwhile.
guys, you catch and carry it = cycle.

end of psa...please return to more pleasant topics.....sorry.

Some of these comments remind me of yhat old joke about Eve in the Garden ...

but with about 23.6 hours until I face the surgeon's knife I don't wanna push my luck ...

so I won't repeat it here ...

besides which, it's too much MCP ... and I should take my chances with regular anesthesia [say, could I have an epidural, instead?] and not have someone use a sockful of nickels to knock me out ...

Holy giant catfish Batman.

U.O. - 23.6 hours? You could strecth that into half a year on TV with lots of gratuitous thigh shooting. Can you whine and cry? You'd be great. Call me...

U.O. - what surgery?! No, don't do the epidural. It may not take and then you'd be in pain. They'd try to give you more, and then you'd get the shakes. THEN they'd hit you with a sock full of nickels to stop the screaming, so you'd wind up with a bruise.

sadly, the fish expired. Exactly how was this guy gonna keep it alive, and where? I am confused. but the fish has passed on.....and if you meet any 125 lb first graders, get out of their way.

Yeah that bad boy passed on, and what a loss that was. I hear it was on the way to Cabella's in my home state (unfortunately) Kansas. Imagine all the feces they would have to clean up from rednecks getting scared while shopping for more doe urine! They could sell really rich topsoil.

To clarify the purpose of the fish being at Cabella's, they were going to keep it in a large tank and continually tap on the glass. Then one day Fishzilla would rebel and eat them all.

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