THOSE TERRORIST BASTARDS
Now they're using plastic penises.
(Thanks to everybody in the world)
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May 25, 2005
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I always find it imperative for my plastic penises to be "Construction Grade"
Posted by: Punky | May 25, 2005 at 10:13 AM
My package has never been described as suspicious, at least not to my knowledge.
Posted by: Sarcasmo | May 25, 2005 at 10:21 AM
Deputies arrived and alerted the bomb squad, which used a robot to dismantle the object so a bomb technician could better examine it.
Speaking from the "straight male" perspective, I certainly wouldn't have wanted to be the aformentioned technician.
Posted by: Schadeboy | May 25, 2005 at 10:21 AM
Are we SURE it is a plastic penis? After all, apparently there are Cambodian and Thai men missing their... ahem... attachments...
Posted by: Somewhere North | May 25, 2005 at 10:23 AM
Other notable quotes:
Ferrante later spoke with a member of the bomb squad who described it in more detail.
The "more detail" turned out to be the exact same description mentioned in the preceding paragraph, only with the added information that "it was not detected until the suspicious package was removed." This is reporting at its finest, folks!
The object was more than a foot long...
So...this was not an accurate recreation, then?
Posted by: Schadeboy | May 25, 2005 at 10:25 AM
exploding plastic dinkies wbagnfarb
Posted by: queensbee | May 25, 2005 at 10:26 AM
It goes without comment,(although Im commenting)that this happened in South Florida.
Of course, this device was not a booby trap. If it had been a booby trap it would have been in the shape of an Ipex Bra.
Posted by: igloo | May 25, 2005 at 10:30 AM
"Whoa, talk about a c*ck block!"
(Overheard in my office this morning.)
Posted by: elle | May 25, 2005 at 10:32 AM
...a "member" of the bomb squad? Ohmigod, it talks!
Posted by: jamester | May 25, 2005 at 10:34 AM
But mostly, all it says is "More!"
Posted by: jamester | May 25, 2005 at 10:35 AM
Hmmm... methinks we're dealing with a couple of euphemisms here. "Prosthetic penis" ... "foot-long" ... does that combination of words remind anybody else of a device seen in public primarily in low-budget porn flicks?
Posted by: Gary | May 25, 2005 at 10:35 AM
Doesn't the Weinermobile fall under the "construction grade plastic penis shaped" description??? Just saying, is all.
Posted by: Punkenstein | May 25, 2005 at 10:38 AM
Somebody molded it to look like a penis
The thing was molded? Is that anything like mildewed? And who would want a molded penis, anyway? EEEEWWWW!!!!
Posted by: Aunt Nancy | May 25, 2005 at 11:39 AM
"Noiw they're using ..." a spell checker?
Posted by: Brainy Jello | May 25, 2005 at 11:43 AM
I OBJECT!!! Dave, just how can you prove everyone in the world sent this to you? I, for one, did not. I demand you retract that statement.
hehehe, I said "retract"
Posted by: casey | May 25, 2005 at 11:57 AM
A friend of mine thought it would be funny to wrap a prosthetic penis in tin foil, tuck into his newly married buddy's wife's travel bag, and let the fun begin once the happy couple reached the airport. Evidently the screeners found its asparagus-like shape mysterious and sounded a bit of an alarm. The newlyweds spent the next five minutes blaming each other.
Posted by: Rich Leonardi | May 25, 2005 at 12:03 PM
Rich - That's sounds like the cucumber bit from "This is Spinal Tap."
Posted by: Brainy Jello | May 25, 2005 at 12:41 PM
As a father myself I can tell you that is about the worst gift ever!
Posted by: Bill | May 25, 2005 at 12:56 PM
Typical Florida driving...
Another d*ck holding up traffic.
Posted by: I miss Raymond already | May 25, 2005 at 01:03 PM
Imperatine Construction Grade Penis wbagnfarb
(Aside: I really don't mind too much, typing wbagnfarb ... it's pretty much all with the left hand, as "nomal" ... and the way I learned to type ... are there any more words out there that would simplify my blogging? If so, please confine your submissions to subjects that can be commented upon, using only these words ... TYVM ...)
Posted by: U.O | May 25, 2005 at 01:12 PM
Crapola!
That should be Imperative ...
Srry
Posted by: U.O | May 25, 2005 at 01:18 PM
Funny how a thread a couple of days ago digressed into a discussion about strap-ons and now Dave posts a story about plastic penises. Don't tell me these bloglits aren't ahead of their (not there) time.
Posted by: alanboss | May 25, 2005 at 01:36 PM
The object was more than a foot long...
Obviously built by a woman........
As the saying goes....
If wishes were horses then beggars would ride
Posted by: Eleanor | May 25, 2005 at 02:53 PM
miss raymond: LOL
Posted by: blurkerette | May 25, 2005 at 02:56 PM
Yay!! Dave finally posted on of my submissions! WoooHooo!!!
Where's my prize?
Posted by: Everybody In The World | May 26, 2005 at 08:21 AM
Brainy: 'Tap no doubt served as inspiration.
Posted by: Rich Leonardi | May 26, 2005 at 11:18 AM
Brainy: 'Tap no doubt served as inspiration.
Posted by: Rich Leonardi | May 26, 2005 at 12:10 PM