THE BASIC PROBLEM WITH SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH

Some scientists believe "Drink less beer" is a desirable goal.

(Thanks to Kendall Avery)

UPDATE: Apparently they're also inclined to value chicken petting.

(Thanks to David Burgett)

Comments

[Brainy Jello]

Thirst?

[«LabSpecimen»]

I'm okay with that....

MORE BEER FOR ME!!! Woot!!!!

[«LabSpecimen»]

"Hey, baby. Wanna pet my chicken?"

[philintexas]

This is the miracle that beer drinkers have awaited since, well, reading this story. Speeds up the effects of alcohol? Less beer to get drunk? Anheuser-Busch will figure out a way to eradicate the pesky Kudzu within a year!

[Kevin]

I suppose choking the chicken will be next...

[philintexas]

Check out the doc's photo. Apparently he has the apparatus installed in his pants.

[Sean]

No kudos for kudzu .

[Jeff P.]

Just a few problems with kudzu:

1) It doesn't make the girl at the end of the bar any prettier.

2) It doesn't make me more charming.

3) It tastes like kudzu.

I'm just sayin' . . .

[qetzal]

You'd never get me to take kudzu capsules. I'd be too afraid that stuff would take root.

[Bucket]

WHY chickens?!?!?!?!?!
*mumblemumble i must really be missing something mumble*

[Melissa]

"first human-poultry interaction system ever developed"

Wow, so many things I didn't know (not no) we needed.

[Schadeboy]

"Fondling the doll"..."stroking"...

This sounds nearly pornographic.

In as much as beer is concerned, are we talking about Lisa Kudzu, here?

[bilge]

"This is the first human-poultry interaction system ever developed."

I would like to argue that point. The first human-poultry interaction system was the spork.

[insomniac]

what was the name of the Dana Carvey character on SNL who said' chickens no make good house pet'!?

[queensbee]

chickens!!! umm. delish.

[MrCanoehead]

From a slightly different perspective, the results of the beer experiment could also look like this:

4 beers = Ok buzz.

4 beers + kudzu = Ggggggggggrreat Big Flying Drunk!! Wahoo! Look at me, Ma, I'm king of the world! Where did that chicken go? I love EVERYONE!!

[LadyBug]

"Promoting the welfare of un-caressed chickens is not the only goal here."

Not the ONLY goal? So the welfare of un-caressed chickens is A goal, then?

[Lizzy]

"We understand the perceived eccentricity of developing a system for humans to interact with poultry remotely, but this work has a much wider significance," he added.

"Remote dance synchronization is a real possibility," said Lee Shang Ping, a fellow team member.

[MOTW]

I sent this in yesterday afternoon. hmph

[MOTW]

I sent this in yesterday afternoon. hmph

[random thunking]

Mr Canoe, *snork*

[Myke Predko]

When I read this yesterday, I wondered (and still wonder) why feeling drunk on fewer beers would lead to less alcoholism. It just means that you are a cheaper drunk.

This line of questioning goes back to my University days when a couple of guys would make sure they gave blood before drinking because it would result in a cheaper drunk.

Can anybody explain why taking something that results in getting drunk faster will reduce alcoholism?

myke

[Schadeboy]

They have a queen...and a leaf eating contest.

Oh, and that was supposed to be "stuff" not "tuff". Oh well...

[Alex]

Either the kudzu increases alcohol absorption or it's another one of those hallucinogenic plants. Being too stoned to drink would also reduce beer intake.

[Laguito Mojito]

Haptic Panties, good idea or GNFARB? Maybe both :-)

[MOTW]

And reducing alcohal intake reduces the damaging effect it has on the liver and other major organs over long periods of time.

[Sondra]

So, they want someone to move the dildo for them, is that it?

[Sean]

Myke I'll explain it to you after I sober up ...I wonder if eating peyote buttons reduces beer consumption ..

[hmmagin]

bilge,
spork!...snork!...KFCer?

[Sean]

Myke I'll explain it to you after I sober up ...I wonder if eating peyote buttons reduces beer consumption ..

[judi]

MOTW: so did kendall avery, who was the first. i do TRY :)

[Eleanor]

MOTW: I hope you didn't catch MKJ's double post bug - I know he threw it away when he was finished with it! :)

Petting a chicken to become aroused: disgusting.

Playing with an eel: Priceless.

[igloo]

*Investment Alert*
Need some VC(venture capital)for my new dotcom.
We obtain the domain name, strokesareus.com, and charge a membership fee. We sell a device that our members can strap on, log on to the site and have a VoiP or IM exchange with one of our comely operators, while the operator operates the remote device for petting the mem...Anyway, you get my drift.
Got to work on the prospectus. Get a lawyer. Register the name.

[igloo]

"Get a lawyer. Register the name."
Should read...
Get a Moray eel. Register the name.
Sorry for the misprint.

[Peri]

But I don't want a chicken doll to 'fire up' when I turn on my computer. Fondling fake fowl is NOT my cup of tea.

[Peri]

Neither is dressing up the live backyard chicken in a jacket or any other cute little outfit. It's a chicken - I'm betting it doesn't look good in large floral prints or strong geometrics.

[t2ed]

I can't wait for new Coors Kudzu. For drunks who don't have time to wait. Helps you get your drink on NOW.

[hmmagin]

damn SPAM....and it won't let you go.

[Giddy]

"This is the first human-poultry interaction system ever developed," said professor Adrian David Cheok, the leader of the team, who has been developing the technology for nearly two years.

'kay. WHO PAID FOR THIS?! 'Cuz I'm a single Mom engineer who desperately needs a full-time job (working half-time). NEwayyy: Why don't they develop something useful, like a SPAM SMACKER, whereby you can physically slap the annoying offenders?

[sct72]

Poverty, disease, and hunger worldwide - but these guys are concentrating on "remote petting"! For 2 years! What's next, putting the seeds back into seedless watermelon?

On a different tone, am I the only one that thinks it's a little weird that 'drinking beer' and 'chicken petting' were posted together? At least it 'chicken petting', not sheep "petting".

[Kendall Avery]

Sorry, MOTW