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May 26, 2005

TED'S MULLET HAIRSTYLE: THE ISSUE THAT WILL NOT DIE

Ted Habte-Gabr, having fared badly in the scientific poll conducted on this blog, has submitted the following photograph in a desperate scientific effort to prove that he does not, in fact, sport a mullet.

Ted also sends this statement:

I realize I may be opening a whole different can of worms with this photo, as it may bring us back full circle to the photo of Phil Spector that started all of this. But this pic would be one of those missed-haircut time frames which Judi alluded to and rendered me guilty of having a mullet. The pic obviously leads to an Arkansas connection. Nothing personal against the state of Arkansas or Arkansans, but the Arkansas connection may lead to a factoid that I would venture to say is true -- the state with the highest mullets per capita (MPC). We'd have to look up the latest US census report to ascertain that.

Case closed.

clinton dinner 006 (2).jpg

Comments

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This is clearly the result of digital editing. Look how blurry the guy in the front is.

This is clearly a case one one man lying and the other swearing to it.

I'm still figuring out what he's trying to say. Is this an admission of guilt? On the part of either guy?

Speaking of a can of worms. Perhaps that style can now be called "Can of Worms" in lieu of Mullet. Although, it does resemble the hairstyle favored by Medusa.

Ted, don't beat a dead mullet.

This is utter mullet, Ted. Sorry. Don't miss the haircuts!

Mr. Clinton's hair is looking a bit lengthy in the back, too.

Ted, don't beat a dead mullet.

From where I sit, it looks like even more of a mullet than in his "publicity photo". I could be wrong, though, as there is not nearly enough contrast between his hair and the rather dark background to come to a fully scientific conclusion.

My vote stands - it's still a mullet. And not only is it a mullet, but it's one that appears to be fully endorsed by former President Clinton, which isn't exactly a good thing...

Now, this one looks like a mullet/brillo pad combo...a BRILLET, if you will.

Ha! Ted clearly manipulated that photo!

Here's the original, from the popular and critically acclaimed movie, Bill and Ted's Mullet Adventure

We can clearly see that Ted Apt-To-Grab-Her has achieved the "party in the back" criterion of mulletdom.

Ted, time to start on that long and lonely road to recovery. Your first step is to recognize that you have certain latent hair issues. Then you must fire your hairstylist and find a barber. Hint: a stylist uses things like "mousse" and "gel". A barber uses things like "scissors" and "combs".

Ted, there is a twelve step program, I am sure, that will help you deal with CHANGING HAIR STYLISTS!

C'bol - you are a genius!

'It all depends on what the definition of "it" is' Famous Clinton Words.

"It" is still a mullet. Seeking Bill's support on this will not help. Look how far he got with that explanation.

My Mullet vote stands and is strengthened by this photo.

Case Closed? I'll say, but not in your favor Ted.

When you combine the names of Dave Barry and Ted whatshisname and then anagram (verb intransitive) them you get...
BARRY, A BAGHDAD BERET VET...
Coincidence? I think not.

Ted, sweetie. You're cute and all, but either go for the Howard Stern look or cut it short. You suffer from PMS, or Persistent Mullet Syndrome. It's not your fault, but you do need to fight it.

WHAT is the blurry headed person in the foreground DOING???!!!!!!

ha - c'bol, i love your site...but Ted is just a victim here.. he has long hair. its curly. its not a mullet. at least not an INTENTIONAL mullet.
unintentional mulletheads wbagnfarb

Ethiopian
Looks well fed as well
How does he do it?

Ted, Ted, Ted, there are none so blind as those who will not see.

Mullet.

Doug, the guy in front could be Monica, or at least administering a Lewinski.

queensbee - Unintentional Mullets wbagnfarb.

if his mulleting is unintentional,is he only guilty of hairslaughter?

*sigh* Ted, Ted, Ted.......

I'm the person who yesterday said how cute you are!

I SO wish you hadn't given the blog this pic!

Sorry, Ted ---- Mullet!

*zips out in total disappointment*

This is a classic example of the Raging Hair Epidemic going on in Miami. It is highly contagious (particularly in Arkansas).

This is, however, the sad consequences when a curly mullet grows longer than it should and turns into an Afro.

Oh dear Lord.

Ted, get a crew cut already, then an updated photo, and all this will stop. I personally promise that I will say, at that point, that you do NOT have a mullet.

I promise.

Really.

(Unless you have a hair on your head, in which case, mullet.)

Dear Ted:

I think yur rilly hot. In fact, I'd like to run my fingurs threw yur curly mullet, grab hold tight, then squirm round like greazed up pigs in slop.

So, waddya think?

Ted,

Two more points for you:

1) Where is your neck? You know you don't have a mullet when, even if you're wearing a collar, you can see that little bit of neck between the collar and the hairline. This is crucial when asking people whether they think you have a mullet or not.

2) The clincher: The question isn't whether or not you think you have a mullet, it's what we think. You can tell me all day that your mullet is not a mullet, but I'll never believe you, and you'll always know that I think you sport a mullet. And beyond just me thinking this, you're heavily outweighed in the polls. You can go on showcasing that mullet and believing it's not one, but just know that when you pass us on the street we're not checking you out. We're looking at your mullet.

Because the mullet, as you've seen over the last three days, is in the eye of the beholder.

Clinton seems to be grinning nervously as he pulls away from Ted's two-handed grasp. Note the clammy handshake is pulled tight to Ted's body, but a long way from Bill's. Undoubtedly, the mullet-and-rumpled-sportscoat look frightened the ex-prez....

Can you imagine if it was a mullet AND a comb-over? A MULLET-OVER?

Where's Ted's left hand?

tee hee insomniac, i dont know if it would be hairslaughter, but someone committing it could get the shaft.......

mullet.

What Clinton is thinking:

Paula Jones? Is that you?

Mullet - Yes. Monica - No. Of course the blurry guy in front is Al Gore with no mullet (He always looks that blurry.)

Regarding Ted's last name, Habte-Gabr. I'm reminded of Bill Cosby's routine where he talks like he-bees habb-eeb a-bee shot-bee o-bee Novobocaine-bee. No offense, Tec.

Ted.

King Wingbipeekaboo has done it: "Ted Habte-Gabr" anagrams to "The ratbag bed."

King Wingbipeekaboo accepts PayPal.

Definet mullet.

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