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May 20, 2005


...and we want whoever stole this village's lake to put it back.

(Thanks to OriginalEnigma)


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"I am thinking, well, America has finally got to us"

??? Like we have a history of stealing lakes.

Cop: Hey Yankee - What are you holding behind your back?

Yankee: Um...Nothin'

Ba a bay be e bee Bi i Bickie bi Bo o Bo

Hey Stag - pass the stein to me too !!!

figures we'd get blamed.


This actually happened out at a big lake near St. Louis. A giant sinkhole showed up out of nowhere and turned all these rich people's lakefront properties into a mudpuddle.

Ok, but where did the water GO????? It had to go SOMEwhere! Any reports of fountains in the Sahara? I hear the Valley of the Kings in Egypt is now "King's Valley Water Park" - suspicious?

The Sphinx is now a fabulous flume ride....

Hey Stag - pass the stein to me too !!!

America: Land of the lake-stealing capitalist pigs.

Now appearing at New York restaurants everywhere:

"Would you prefer Perrier or Bolotnikovo with your entree, sir?"
"Which is more expensive?"
"The Bolotnikovo is priced at $12.99 per eyedropper-full, sir."
"I'll take that Russian water."
"Excellent choice, sir."

The disappearing lake near St. Louis was Lake Chesterfield; a fake lake made for the residential development. Apparently, nature thought differently.

With the flooding we had a decade ago, especially in the area of Lake Chesterfield, it's somewhat ironic.

Wouldn't that make a lot of noise? I actually have a different theory on this one. The city's collective supply of crack dried up one night. Whaddya'll think?

According to the US Geological Survey, the lake disappeared a few minutes after the Australians cleaned some sewer lines.

It was the Aussies, not Americans. At least, not this American. I have a septic tank.

Is there such thing as a "Missing Lake" alert?
Or maybe you'll see its picture on milk cartons.
"Have you seen this parge body of water?"

all your lake are belong to us.

I think it was one them Eeevolution scientists. They's all'ays goin' on about some Missing Lake.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! My brilliant plant succeeded!

Oh, wait, dammit, I thought this was vodka!

I blame Canada

Old Russian ladies don't like Americans much. When I was in Moscow doing a photo shoot, an old lady walked up to the photographer and bit his arm.

Probably thought he was going to steal a lake.

Yeah, I thought it pretty funny how we (americans) get blamed for that. I know we do alot of crappy things, but even we can't do magic! :)

Its finally happened. The congress in Washington sucks so bad that the other side of the planet is caving in. Run for your lives.

"I am thinking, well, America has finally got to us," said one old woman, as she sat on the ground outside her house.

Oh, yeah, lady. Stealing your bleeding LAKE is WAY up on our list of priorities. We can't get $300 billion for a bloody LAKE!

Exactly what, ma'am, would we gain by stealing your lake.

{shakes head, muttering} "Some people..."

By the way, stay out of my backyard. My dogs are learning to swim...




Brain - Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Pinky - I think so, Brain, but don't we need a pool to play Marco Polo?

I believe the old ladys comment was misinterpreted.
She looked at, yet another, Russian mudhole and said "I am thinking, well. No longer lake, it's a well".
$#@%^&&&*((( Americans!Is of course a standard way to start and end every sentence for 97.5% of all mud hole dwellers.

BTW, Nice lake, er, ah, pond. Yeah, nice pond Trystan.

I was thirsty, okay? And now I can't stop burping.

We have a lake missing and Urine Vandals in the library. Might it have been in the geography section? Did some one fail a test because there was a lake in some really difficult to pernounce place? Teenagers these days. Not just happy breaking local laws.

"I am thinking, well, America has finally got to us"

FINALLY, our irrational outbursts and stupid comments have begun to spread to other countries! About bloody time!

I had to work on a geophysical investigation of a missing lake, which is actually fairly common in my area. It was determined to be a "sinkhole," but I know the truth. The new lake-stealing technology was being tested on American civilians before they took it to that elusive military target, Nizhegorodskaya.

Maybe this is where all the water went!!!

I needed it to wash my SUV. Sorry about that.

Sorry, Dave.

I don't have time to put it back. I'm busy stealing this butte.

El, I wouldn't put it past him. But it couldn't be Trump - he wouldn't do it without gleaning all the publicity in the world.


i heard the bolshoi was putting on a production of 'swan mudhole' this year.

if you're truly bored...go to msn...ck on video
highlights...then ck on the dropdown bar at right...ck on basketball court scene.
"slam dunk date".....4 guys + 1 girl = dang!

Since His Daveness is having a slow blogging day, I'm going to go off topic.

Does anyone remember, about a week ago, when I went off topic and asked if anyone else thought the Microsoft campaign "The Choice is Yours" was pretty weird? Well, I notice this week that Microsoft has stopped using that tag line.

Coincidence? I think so!

Bet it'll show up on eBay by tomorrow night at 7:30 EDT.

Looks interesting, Sondra ... I really dount that it's on my itinerary, but I'll keep it in mind ...

to get there I just hang a right @ Flagstaff and keep going ... and going ... and going ... correct?

Sondra - I take it that Hurricane Adrian didn't affect you much. Good! When they said it could hit land in Guatemala, I was a little worried. So, good luck with your restaurant! I'd come down, but I'm afraid of flying. And what do you call birds that don't fly? Chicken!

U.O. - If you're eastbound through Flagstaff, then a right turn will (eventually) take you to Guatemala. However, if you're westbound, Guatemala will look a lot like Canada.

this is so cool...i googled it last night and it
would seem that El/Al Chisme is quite the local
how nifty!...i wish you the very best of luck with the venture...it all seems so exotic and fun...hope it becomes a must for adventurers
and thirsty ex-pats...

"laise le bon temp roulette"

Duh! Obviously the lake went over to the dark side.

U.O, I'm 30 hours from Houston. If you only drive 4 hours a day, and spend 3 days on the beaches at Vera Cruz, you can make it in only 10 days. (I speak from experience)

Aunt Nancy, These people are sooo ridiculous. They closed the schools in the middle of the day Thurs. and all day Friday. It didn't even rain 'til today; And This Is The RAINY Season. There's no tellin' some people. And it sounds like you know how to get here by car. You can do 30 hours in a day and a quarter, with friends driving in rotation.

Cyn, Thanks! Everyone I've talked to assumes it's going to be a huge success! What a great Feeling! The excitement seems to be contagious.

A.N. -- Well, I wuz speakin' from my present perspective of SoCal ... havin' spent most of my life only 14 miles fron Canada, I prolly woulda figgered any wrong turns out ... mebbe ... ya think, eh?

Sondra -

As I said, doubtful, but if I'm ever that far south, it'll definitely be on my list of places to be ...


I can take a hint. If you drive 2,000 miles, to my restaurant, I'll treat you to a free meal.

Something off the breakfast menu. Try not to go over $2.

Jeez, whacha gotta do fer sum peepul.

Sondra, I think that is fantastic. I'd love to have some queso fundido for starters. Looks like my kind of place.

Well, if you've got hooayvoes rancheerios ... mebbe I can work that into my (busy-but-broken-armed) schedule ...

hi U.O...didja know (not no) that CHISME means
"gossip".....seems like a place we bloglits were
born for.

i'm gonna take a shot at going to this opening.
anybody got something with four-wheel drive?
i'll pay for fuel.


Alright, I know everyone is trying to be funny about this woman's comment, but try to understand who she is. She is in a little village, probably remote and isolated, and the last time she read a newspaper we were in an arms race and Kennedy and Krushchev were comparing missile sizes. She is an old woman who says "America" the same way that old codgers in this country say "Red" or "Communist," or used to until we found a new bugaboo, the "Terrorists". That's all the woman is doing: she's blaming the national boogieman, because, in her day, that was the safe thing to do when the press asked for your opinion. Make sense?

Way to go, Sondra!! Buenas comidas!!

The other day when you said you bought a restaurant, I thought you were making some sort of metaphorical statement!


Maybe I can hitch a ride with D'Artagnan - huevos rancheros y tortillas, por favor!!!

Sondra - Directions to your place from Cancun...we'll be there for a convention in September and maybe we can go out to breakfast - WAY out!

Dong- You're being WAY too logical for this thread...What I'm curious about is the reference to all the trees being bent over under the ground...???

CHISME = gossip, huh?

yup, sounds as if the usual gang might fit in ...

BTW -- has anyone read The Holy use of Gossip by Kathleen Norris? (It's a chapter in a book, so I doubt you'll find it without getting a copy of Dakota -- A Spiritual Geography ...

... sorry this is not funny ...

Howdy, Y'all! Thanks for the kindly thoughts!

D'Art, Queso fundido isn't going to be on the menu, but if you come, I'll melt. (Cheese! What did you think I meant?)

Stupendous Man, Good luck with your plans for your trip to Antibes. Bring your costume!

meagin, the more the merrier! Bring everybody!

Jeff, Currently, it's about $3.20, but the rate changes. Approximately 7.75 to 7.78 to the dollar.

Eleanor, In Guatemala, it's Buen Provecho!
Looking forward to seeing you. I'll have something much better than huevos rancheros on the menu, if you want Mexican. Migas - sweet red peppers, onions, and tomatoes, sauteèd, scrambled into 2 eggs, tossed with tortilla chips and topped with picante sauce. This recipe is from the most expensive country club in Houston, where my cousin is the chef.

scat, Hope you can make it. Lake Atitlan deserves a few days to admire it. This is where people touring Guatemala come to unwind.

Punky Brewster, You'll need 2 days - just to arrive, eat, and return. Enjoy the dolphin swim, instead. It'll be more relaxing than a rushed trip through a rain forest that is too pretty to be rushed through.

U.O, a broken arm is no excuse. Find a runaway bride and hitch a ride!

Just what we needed, another toxic lake dump!

Jeff, Q = Quetzal

It's the national bird and the monetary denomination, depending on which syllable you accent.

It looks like someone's been testing they're new HydroFlush2005. Guarenteed to pass a Rhino!

they weren't satisfied with chickens or golfballs


theIr HydroFlush2005!

there goes a good joke....

kibby F5™, Anyone who would let that get in the way of enjoying a good laugh, well, they just didn't want to laugh.

We're all human here. We all know that very few of us proofread.

The Russians probably all have low-flow toilets.

Sondra --

Sorry, no passport ... mebbe next trip ...

and, yes, I may be the only one who proofs ... and that would only be on account of my one-handed/one-fingered style of the moment ... just wait until the pain gets less, and I'll be back to the same old mistake-prone clunker y'all knew before ...

James T- yes, they are all low-flow, much lower flow than in America. They are the suckiest toilets I've ever had to use.

ok ... i know that most likely no one will see this, 'cause this thread had been next-to-dead for a day (i didn't have a PC all weekend)... but this still has to be said:

i made it on the blo-og, i made it on the blo-og!!! woo hoo!

thanks for the chance to do a little happy dance. you may now continue with your day. :)

Welcome back OE!

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