MEANWHILE, IN THE SO-CALLED "HEARTLAND"
They're eating worms.
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They're eating worms.
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Mmmmmmm.....tastes like....
*graap*
WORMS.
Posted by: Cheri | May 20, 2005 at 06:12 AM
* squints at screen * It's still early for a story like that.
Posted by: MOTW | May 20, 2005 at 06:15 AM
Ok,"FIRST" twice in one day again....either you people (and you know who you are) are not really trying, or I am NEARLY as pathetic as those Star Wars geeks (and you know who you are). At least I'm not a Trekkie.
Farewell, dear Bloggers....
*rides off on her Wookie in search of intelligent life in the real world*
Posted by: Cheri | May 20, 2005 at 06:17 AM
just wait till PETA hears about this.
Posted by: casey | May 20, 2005 at 06:19 AM
Pardon me, sir," Lindquist said. "Do you have any Grey Poupon?"
Sievering — decked out in a tuxedo with tails — pulled a jar from his pocket.
But of course!
Posted by: MOTW | May 20, 2005 at 06:21 AM
Cheri,
*rides off on her Wookie*
I hope that's after he's been to the drugstore.
Posted by: rufus | May 20, 2005 at 06:23 AM
He ate 5 worms? That's unbelievable. Somebody must have helped drink all that tequila, or he'd be dead, right?
Posted by: Christobol | May 20, 2005 at 06:25 AM
The worm is in Mescal, not Tequila.
Posted by: Sondra | May 20, 2005 at 06:29 AM
And thanks for giving me something else to think about. That story was so gross, I couldn't finish it. My teeth were trying to run away.
Posted by: Sondra | May 20, 2005 at 06:30 AM
The regular bloglits (and you know who you are) lead happy and full lives, practicing manners that befit dedicated Dave Barry fans, often exhibiting great restraint from shouting about their firstness at each and every new thread.
We know who is first because we, as intelligent bloggers, can read the primary post on the thread. While we recognize that it is thrilling, we do not berate others for not being first.
That is all.
Posted by: MOTW | May 20, 2005 at 06:31 AM
Sondra - My teeth were trying to run away. LOL!
Posted by: MOTW | May 20, 2005 at 06:32 AM
The regular bloglits (and you know who you are) lead happy and full lives, practicing manners that befit dedicated Dave Barry fans, often exhibiting great restraint from shouting about their firstness at each and every new thread.
We know who is first because we, as intelligent bloggers, can read the primary post on the thread. While we recognize that it is thrilling, we do not berate others for not being first.
That is all.
Posted by: MOTW | May 20, 2005 at 06:33 AM
and we dont berate them by insinuating that trekkies are the lowest life form. *sob*
Posted by: nurse | May 20, 2005 at 06:33 AM
WORM: It's what's for dinner!
Posted by: «LabSpecimen» | May 20, 2005 at 06:35 AM
Poor, battered worms. There ought to be a shelter for them.
Posted by: golfwidow | May 20, 2005 at 06:35 AM
* rushes emergency chocolate to nurse *
Sorry about the split-double-post, but I am getting better.
Posted by: MOTW | May 20, 2005 at 06:36 AM
Sondra - mezcal is a type of tequila (as far as I know). You're right, it's the type that has the worm, which is actually a butterfly larva, but tastes like chicken. At least chicken that's been soaked in bad tequila.
Posted by: Christobol | May 20, 2005 at 06:39 AM
hhhmmmmmm....thanks for the fix MOTW. Live long and prosper.
Posted by: nurse | May 20, 2005 at 06:40 AM
MOTW,
Glad you liked it. Nice speech. What was that sage advise Yoda gave Luke? "Patience"? or was it "Bite me"?
Posted by: Sondra | May 20, 2005 at 06:43 AM
MOTW - no berating intended... just enjoying the challenge of having the lightningiest fast fingers and hoping to stirr the competition.
And I never said Trekkies were the lowest form of life. I never SAID it....
Sorry to have upset anyone.
*rides off straddling her wookie, never to darken the blog again*
Posted by: Cheri | May 20, 2005 at 06:43 AM
Chris, not to be picky... okay, just to be picky... tequila is actually a type of mezcal. It is made from agave azul and must come from a specific region. By law, it is NOT allowed to contain a worm / caterpillar.
Mezcal (mescal) is any liquor made from agave.
Posted by: «LabSpecimen» | May 20, 2005 at 06:46 AM
mmmm, tequila....
Posted by: Charlotte | May 20, 2005 at 06:49 AM
no offense taken. Trekkies have learned valuable life lessons like not to wear red because within the hour you will be vaporized, hit by lightning, or have your brains sucked out by aliens.
Posted by: nurse | May 20, 2005 at 06:50 AM
Golfwidow: I forgot to mention this concerning your post. *snork*
Posted by: «LabSpecimen» | May 20, 2005 at 06:54 AM
LabSpeciman, you're right. Dammit.
"All Tequila is mezcal, but not all Mezcal is Tequila. Tequila, and its country cousin Mezcal, are made by distilling the fermented juice of agave plants in Mexico. The agave is a spiky-leafed member of the lily family (it is not a cactus) and is related to the century plant. By Mexican law the agave spirit called Tequila can be made only from one particular type of agave, the blue agave (Agave Tequiliana Weber), and can be produced only in specifically designated geographic areas, primarily the state of Jalisco in west-central Mexico.
Mezcal is made from the fermented juice of other species of agave. It is produced throughout most of Mexico."
However, would not a puke induced by any agave related drink smell roughly the same?
Posted by: Christobol | May 20, 2005 at 06:57 AM
Is this where the phrase "Eat worms and die" came from?
Posted by: rita | May 20, 2005 at 06:58 AM
However, would not a puke induced by any agave related drink smell roughly the same?
That depends, my friend, on if you picked the chicken or the beef burrito.
LabSpeciman, you're right.
But of course!
Posted by: «LabSpecimen» | May 20, 2005 at 07:00 AM
Sorry about the split-double-post, but I am getting better.
MOTW- No "sorry" necessary. Some things are worth saying twice! LOL
*decides to double post to show solidarity with MOTW*
Posted by: Eleanor | May 20, 2005 at 07:04 AM
Sorry about the split-double-post, but I am getting better.
MOTW- No "sorry" necessary. Some things are worth saying twice! LOL
*decides to double post to show solidarity with MOTW*
Posted by: Eleanor | May 20, 2005 at 07:04 AM
Back when dinosaurs roamed the earth, I worked as a bartender in graduate school. Our saloon owner had a marketing epiphany that "Eat the Worm" night would vault him into another tax bracket. He ordered cases of the little airline-sized bottles each with a worm.
We served zillions of them. Before ADA mandated accessible potties, this saloon's bathrooms were down a flight of stairs in the basement. The saloon owner's wife, who was a chilling cross between Tammy Faye Baker and Marge Schott, had tastefully decorated the walls with mauve shag carpeting.
After swilling copious amounts of this Beelzebub's brew, there was wholesale puking. Puking begets puking, even from non-worm eating patrons. I will not go into the details of the viscosity of puke and mauve shag carpet interaction, or of the swamp that was the bathroom.
Excuse me while try to quietly gag without my co-workers hearing.
Posted by: Crabby Appleton | May 20, 2005 at 07:20 AM
Battered, deep-fried worms can't be much worse than battered, deep-fried squid. I mean, c'mon! Deep Fried! Mmmmmmmmmm.
Or not.
The trick must be coming up with a name which obscures the origins, just like calamari or sushi. What could we name 'fried worms' that would make foreigners think it's a delicacy?
Posted by: Brainy Jello | May 20, 2005 at 07:23 AM
I've been having a lot of trouble trying to convince my 9 year old daughter that reading is fun. I've been sitting here wondering if I would eat worms if it would encourage her to read. I don't know...did they have to chew or could they just sort of slide them down?
Posted by: Peri | May 20, 2005 at 07:25 AM
Well, this has been an interesting morning. First my teeth tried to run away, and now my tonsils are trying to escape.
Posted by: Sondra | May 20, 2005 at 07:26 AM
Crabby - You have a talent for descriptive writing, unfortunately.
*winces at thought of 'viscosity'*
Posted by: Brainy Jello | May 20, 2005 at 07:27 AM
My daughter lost a bet to her boyfriend last year and had to eat a worm. She tried to just swallow it, but he wasn't having any of that. She had to chew at least three times. Kinda hard to do when the earthworm was still alive, but she did it.
Teenagers will do anything to prove a point.
Posted by: Charlotte | May 20, 2005 at 07:35 AM
Crabby, you lead such a fun life, you know?
I hope your duties didn't include carpet cleaning.
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | May 20, 2005 at 07:38 AM
MOTW,
I hope you understood that I meant that you should give Yoda's advise, not take it.
*hugs*
Posted by: Sondra | May 20, 2005 at 07:39 AM
* lifts chocolate to return Sondra's hug *
Yes, I understood. I know who I am - a regular bloglit. (no, wait, don't misunderstand 'regular', okay?)
But I don't say "I am" to no one there ... not even a chair.
Posted by: MOTW | May 20, 2005 at 07:50 AM
MOTW - So...you're not regular? NTTAWWT.
I am lost and I can't even say why.
Posted by: Brainy Jello | May 20, 2005 at 07:58 AM
Crabby,
That bar didn't happen to be Pedro's Cactus Cantina in Oxford, OH did it? Good old Bill and Bev.
Brainy,
While I haven't tried fried worms, calamari and sushi are fantastic. Keeping with my italian roots, I think it should be fried vermi. Of course, that may be too close to vermin. It could also be what Colonel Klink would say when trying to say fried wormies.
TMI coming:
As a youth (ok, 14 15 years old) I went on a little bender eating ants. I think it started with a dare, but then I liked the taste. The common red ants (not fire ants, I don't think) tasted like watermelon. If I remember correctly, it's because of the formic acid which has a watermelon-ish scent.
Posted by: Brian B | May 20, 2005 at 08:05 AM
i guess everyone hates the principal and nobody likes him ,so he decided to get some educational benefit out of it...
Posted by: insomniac | May 20, 2005 at 08:43 AM
I asked my Principal if she'd be interested in doing this. I e-mailed her the article. I highly doubt she'd be interested. I however...would definitely NOT be.
Posted by: teachmiami | May 20, 2005 at 08:46 AM
This story's from Lincoln, NE, right? Well, what did you expect from a bunch of Cornhuskers?
Posted by: ISUCF'V'MB | May 20, 2005 at 10:36 AM
I still want to know — Who counted all of those 100 million words?
And did they count 'em one at a time, or did they count the words on one page, multiply by the book's weight and divide by the reader's I.Q?
Posted by: rowrbazzle | May 20, 2005 at 01:01 PM
Brainy Jello. How about "Tapey's"?
Posted by: Nom De Plume | May 20, 2005 at 05:46 PM
Nom - I was thinking of something more...foreign. Like "crunchy gusano" or "minhoca frita."
Okay, partially foreign.
Posted by: Brainy Jello | May 20, 2005 at 07:53 PM