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May 19, 2005

IF YOU SEE A MUSHROOM CLOUD OVER THE CITY OF SALE, AUSTRALIA

Run.

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First?

I do that all the time anyway. It muffles the horrible screams that come from there when you leave the lid open.

Hello? Is anybody here? Did that mushroom cloud kill everybody on the blog? Cheri, I'm starting to understand how you felt a few stories back. Do I need to get a life?

Key Quote:

"There is no mention on the brochure about whether householders can use their toilets during the week long operation or what risks are involved."

Risk? RISK?? I'll tell you what the risk is. A bunch of REALLY crabby Austrailians after a week of not using the potty!

FAQ

Q: Is there a chance a massive amount of raw sewage will blast me off of my toilet and into the neighbor's yard this week?

A: Yes. Especially if you are using your neighbor's toilet.

Q: Can exploding toilets be a primary defense against international terrorism?

A: Yes. Terrorists will not visit Australia during exploding toilet week.

Q: Aren't there other ways to clean the sewers?

A: Yes. But we haven't found any others that produce such spectacular guysers of human waste inside residential structures.

Q: Do I really need to floss?

A: No. It just makes your gums bleed.

I use mind control.

Did ya hear 'bout the land Down Under?
If Gippsland Water makes a blunder
Your loo will explode like thunder
You better run, you better take cover

Poo Geysers

I'm going to be giggling all morning.

I'd like to know where these Aussies are supposed to unload for an entire week. Does one take the risk of good timing? "Oh, it'll just take me 5 minutes ...KABOOM!!!"

There is no mention on the brochure about whether householders can use their toilets during the week long operation or what risks are involved.

I'd say the world's worst douche EVER would be one risk.

There is no mention on the brochure about whether householders can use their toilets during the week long operation or what risks are involved.

I'm chiming in on this line too: um, did someone actually ASK this question? dont know when your toilet might explode, so, oh, just take a chance when you take you leak in the morning. oh! kaboom! I dont think so!

This is an old joke. On April Fool's Day a few years ago some DJ's in Houston did this - actually had people putting bricks on their toilets.

Risks involved?

You bet! Sit down at the wrong moment, and you risk getting a massive reverse enema.

FAQ: Continued

If I'm using my neighbor's toilet and it launches me into his yard, can I sue him?

No, but you are entitled to his stereo or one of his children, provided you raise it in a good environment.

The stereo?

Yes.

Is the Poo Geysers agnfarb?

Yes. Also the Australian Mushroom Clouds.

Is "heiferhonk" a funny word?

Of course. Especially if you work in the concept of "Wisconsin."

qetzal: good one. Reverse Enema wbagnfarb, as would Explosive Sewage and Exploding Sewage and Sewage Authority and Gippsland Water and Lingering Smell.

This is an old joke. On April Fool's Day a few years ago some DJ's in Houston did this - actually had people putting bricks on their toilets.

Yeah, of course you can use the toilet. You'll just be in the goofy news the next day with a picture of you covered in other people's sh!t.

*coming back from the bathroom*

"Crikey! I think you need to clean your bidet!"

To the tunoe of "For Free" by Joni Mitchell:

Last night I saw a man on his throne
reading a magazine
Then he suddenly received the highest of colonics
He was cleaned out real good...
for freee-eeee...

The naughty word wahooo! takes on new meaning in Sale, Australia:

Wife calling to husband: "Where are you Luv?!"

Husband replies w/slight echo: "I'm in the loo takin' a WAHOOO!!!"

Wife, unconcerned: "Don't forget to wipe, Luv!"

csl,

I remember that! I remember my husband wanting to know what I thought. I told him it couldn't possibly be true - 5 million people with no way to dispose of their poop for a week! Not gonna happen. Besides, the logistics of it.

csl - You are absolutely right. Sewers are not air-tight (for many good reasons) and, therefore have no way to build up any measurable pressure at all. ('member? Sewer man-hole covers have those little holes in 'em.)

I don't know csl and BJ; this happened to my outhouse once.

(No, noone was in it at the time, but the door's quarter moon became a full moon.)

POO ALERT? On the DB blog????

Say it isn't so!!!!

Rob - septage tank different story. Those definitely can be explosive.

If your sig. other, girlfriend or spouse
Thinks your emissions make you a louse
It might really surprise her
When a feculent geyser
Starts spreading its stink round the house!

Rufus....I TRY to stay away and develop, whaddaya call em? "Interpersonal Relationships", but alas (and alak), I am drawn to this blog like a motorist to a grisly 15 car pile up on 95.

feculent geyser *snork*

Good one, insom....Also wbagnfarb, IMO

Also could be called, Benny and the Tu**s!

Brain - Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Pinky I think so, Brain, but what if we stick to the seat covers?

thank you, el. I thought 'feculent geyser' wbagnfarb, also, but 'modesty' prohibited me...

Perhaps an Icelandic grunge band, they could open for Bjork?

Great song, jamester.

'Trapezoid' is the best name for a rock band. period.

Hit songs would be "Calling all angles."
and "No squares allowed."

Perhaps an Icelandic grunge band, they could open for Bjork?

Perfect!! I'll relate the following anecdote, which is hard to believe, but true....

About a year ago, here in San Diego, some concert promoter announced a Bjork concert, tickets went on sale, and - wait for it - people bought them! And then it turned out that it was a scam, the guy was stealing the ticket money, ticket buyers went beserk, and eventually I think the guy went to jail. Or not.

But the point is, IMO - Bjork? He picked Bjork????

"Sale" is, perhaps not coincidentally, French for "dirty."

Well, if you find 20 soiled copies of the Koran in your bathroom, you'll know where they came from.

(Ducks to avoid fatwa.)

Well, El, it worked right? So I guess he knew the San Diego audience he was aiming at.

"Sale" is, perhaps not coincidentally, Spanish for "leave."

omg this blog is like rainbows and tator tots fused together by magical peanut butter!! i laughed for hours!!

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