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May 24, 2005

HAIRSTYLE OF THE WEEK

Believe it or not, some of us can remember when this man was considered very cool.

(Thanks to Ted Habte-Gabr, who personally sports a mullet)

Update: We have received the following rebuttal from Ted:

First, I don't want anyone to suggest that I protesteth too much, but take a look at mulletsgalore.com. There is not a single do on the gamut of mullets on that site that even remotely resembles the Field Coordinator's hair. A couple years ago, my hair stylist signed an affidavit that my hair WAS NOT A MULLET. I asked for it as another friend kept insisting that mine was a mullet. Even sent me a coffee table book on the Mullet. Anyway, back to breasts.

Update update: We will let you, our readers, vote on this issue in the comments section. Does Ted, or does Ted not, sport a mullet?

Comments

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whwwwwweeeeee. what a hideously ugly woman he turned into. this may make the jackson trial look like a perry mason episode. wowie. firstie?

I don't think you can actually sport a mullet. I think the mullet sports you.

"...women who claim to have dated the music pioneer..."

?!?!?!

I would take that secret to my grave, you betcha. I wonder what it was that made them go out with this pouffle?

i'm guessing tho, that NOBODY wants to be his baby right about now....

That's what happens when you don't wear your tin foil helmet....

*shudder*

He "helped the careers of Cher.."?

Let him fry. Like his hair.

his `record' makes it Very clear this "pouffle"
and guns don't mix.

We use to do this in the 80's by hairspraying our hair wet then hanging upside-down over the bed and blow-drying it. Oh, the good old days.

Ouch.

Dave, that one kind of hurt.

This guy reminds me of when I tell my son (who once said, referring to the days when my wife and I were growing up, "Back in the olden days") about the 70's. I told him, black guys looked pretty cool with afros. White guys NEVER looked cool with afros.

nurse,

kinky.

No, I don't think he was ever cool unless he kept his mullet of course.

I warned him about that electricity stuff.

It looks like someone gathered all the cat hairballs from that government office in Columbus (or wherever it was) and glued them all to Specter's head. It probably smells like cat hairballs, too.

haaaaaa!! his isnt an afro. its a jewfro. at least it was in the 70s when jewish guys wore their hair in its natural state... although, i think phil kinda fell into the bathtub with the radio there for a minute, whoa. i think his wall of sound is gonna become a padded cell of quiet.... he's waaaay whacky. da dooo runrun run... yeah.

If it looks like a mullet and smells like a mullet, then I vote for mullet.
Sorry Ted.

Re Update update:

I'm going to side with Mr. Habte-Gabr. Ringlets do not a mullet make, IMO.

mr. barry,

from the accompanying photo it appears to be a mutation of an ancestral mullet.

sort of a micro-mullet, if you will.

NOT a mullet. curly hair.. and a little fuller at the back.. does not a mullet make. yer safe ted.

Well, maybe it's a very polite mullet - a sort of mulletlit. I think Ted could put it in a little ponytail.

I don't see anything on the site that excludes curly hair from mullet-dom. It appears to be a matter of short on top and at least three inches below the collar in the back.

The question is, Ted, do you have at least three inches?

I think Ted's in the danger zone - not quite a mullet, but if he skips ONE haircut.....

Ted, if you need a signed affidavit to prove that your hair is not a mullet, then maybe it's time for a new hairstyle. And some time off.

it is a curly mullet...a mullet for the new millenium. Texan...I don't think hair spray can be considered kinky...

Hmm... Ted is standing right on the corner of Mud Flap Lane and Squirrel Pelt St. It's close. He is definitely no Billy Ray Cyrus or Michael Bolton. I think he falls somewhere in-between Jerry Seinfeld and John Stamos (Full House Season 1).

Vote: No mullet.

Let it now be known:

Ted does NOT sport a mullet. Men can no longer sport a mullet. Only lesbian women can. I don't swing that way, but some lesbian friends do and have made it very clear that today's mullet is strictly reserved for them.

Ted obviously prefers the poodle groomer to SuperCuts. And there's nothing wrong with that. Add a pink bow and a rhinestone collar and he's good to go.

i've seen ted when he missed that one haircut... and another one too.... it's definitely a mullet.

My friend, Mr. Rausch, tells me that, in fact, Ted's hair looks very much like a Jew Mullet. It's quite similar to his own hair, which he refers to as a Jewfro when it gets too long. Without product, he looks kinda like a bottle brush.

Ted, dear, that's a mullet. I work with a guy who has naturally curly hair in that same style and he calls it a mullet.

In my previous comment, the world "complete" should have been "compare." I guess I was just in some sort of Ted-hair haze, and wasn't thinking clearly.

Re: Ted's dilema.

That's totally a mullet. If you had, say, another body part that was not as large or pronounced as it should be, would you call it something else entirely?

A mullet is as a mullet does, though I will disclaim that it's more of a 'mu-LAY', being small and furry and somewhat... French/Jewish cerca 1991, than a 'MULL-et'.

So are all these "Jewfro" and Jewish hair references an east coast thing? I'm out west and I've never heard those expressions before. I don't like them very much. Is it just me?

Ted's Hairstyle is to mullet as Jack Bauer is to:
a) shoot people indiscriminately in the thigh
b) be surrounded by annoying, crying subplots
c) never eat or drink (as far as we know)
d) never like any Road Runner cartoons due to the nightmares he still gets when he hears "MEEP! MEEP!" (Why did you think he had a drug problem in season 3?)

if you apply the 'business in front, party in back' rule to ted's hair, i don't think it qualifies as a mullet.

however, i worry about the slippery slope of mulletness making this hairstyle gradually more acceptable, so i vote for YES.

Ted, cut the back, man! Then again, we would be deprived of this lively conversation.

De-mulletize yourself.

Not only is that a mullet, that's an Iowa mullet. Curly or straight; most popular hairstyle in the state.

And here I thought this thread was about Phil Spector.

Ted's definitely rocking the mullet. However, the blog should take into account that its own 'do has, on occasion, from where I sit, been not altogether un-mulletlike.

jewfro - An afro on a Jewish person. very popular with Jewish ultimate frisbee players.

e.g., Half of their team was sporting a jewfro.

With that curl, its more party in the back AND in the front. Definately a mullet.

Ted has a Quasi-mullet.

Oh.... And on the subject of Phil Specter. Evidently, he has shot out all of his mirrors.

I ran that picture through the mullet detector and I'm afraid it came up mullet-positive. Sorry Ted, but the detector doesn't lie.

There are internationally recognized rules for mullet determination:

1. Does the person in question have a signed affidavit from their hair stylest claiming it's not a mullet? If so...

2. Are they attempting to use the old "curly" exemption? If so...

3. If you put their hair on Dave Barry would people then say that Dave Barry sports a mullet? If so...

It's a mullet.

I can't believe I'm the first one to say this when it's SO obvious, but CurlyMullet wbagnfarb!!!

If Phil beats this, he is all lined up to play Larry in the CBS Movie of the Week "The Three Stooges, Behind the Laughter".

MULLET

Believe it or not, some of us can remember when this man was considered very cool.

Dave, you thought Albert Einstein was cool? So did Marilyn Monroe.

D'Art, I misjudged you. I thought it was going to be Britney for sure.

Now I have to get the 15" spikes to pound into my ears.

haaaaaa!! his isnt an afro. its a jewfro. at least it was in the 70s when jewish guys wore their hair in its natural state.

Right, queensbee, like this guy.

Sandy, maybe it was an East Coast thing, because I certainly heard it. (Jewfro, that is.)

C-bol, ah-HAH!

I knew they gave Dave a Mullet-zer Prize for a reason!

Yep, that's a mullet!

sandy - maybe it is an east coast thing.. i dunno, i'm on the east coast... but if it will make you feel a little better - i dont mind the references, and none of my friends and family would in the 70s and 80s... we all called them jewfros. i say that as a jewess...now, i dont know how i might feel if somebody else said it... but in this context, dont feel uncomfortable.

right! jeff! art garfunkel, of course. and some of us thought his hair was a little much even in the 70s. but a jewfro it was...
and i'm guessing phil spector has broken all the mirrors in his house too.... i googled him this afternoon, and according to one bio - there was a history of mental illness in his family. ya think?? nee-neee-neee--nee [hum the twilight zone theme..]

If it's long enough to fall over your shoulder, it's a mullet.

Sorry Ted.

Of course that's a mullet. But it's the endangered Permullet. Indeed, very rare.

That is absolutely a mullet.

queensbee--check your e-mail... :-)

It's a GREASE MULLET!

It's a GREASE MULLET!

it's a mullet, I looked at the pic and thought of Barry Melrose. don't ask me why this guy wants his hair to look like Barry Melrose's.

Mullet. Definitely.

mullet mullet mullet.

Had to get my 2 cents in...if Ted had straight hair there would be no debate. Total mullet.

As a native Iowan, I thought it my duty to look up Ted on the University of Iowa website. He's a U of I alum with a bachelor's in engineering. That having been said, I think his hair looks just like Winston Rothchild's (The Red Green Show) from the early days of the show. There is a blurry connection here: engineering grad, Red Green show. I leave it to my fellow bloggers to analyze this further.

And remember, if the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy.

Did anyone else notice on the mullets galore website what the initials MOTW stood for?
Mullet Of The Week! Hmmmmm....coincidence to MOTW on this board, I think not!

I must say that based on the definition of the mullet as given in the link on Federal Duck's comment, Ted's coiffure can only be described as a Potential Mullet. And on a personal note, I think it's just bad.

Business in the front? Check.
Party in the back? Check.
It meets the standard definition, and is thusly a mullet. As an added bonus, it clearly would leave greasemarks on furniture, soul-glow style.

That man could be called Mullet Mouse, and lead a troupe of Mulleteers.

Guilty.

es el muy bien mulletito.

It's a modfied mullet.
Like "Fushion" cuisine, it takes the best (or worst) of a standard and combines another flair.

Regardless, short in front, long in back, a rose by any other name would look the same.

he can call it what he likes, but it's still a mullet.

The moral of the story:
A mullet by any other name would still smell bad.

8>
BURN.
Thank you.

King Wingbipeekaboo says Ted Habbertiger-Gerbera DEFINITELY sports his mullet. It is not a question of whether his mullet exists; that much we already know. But it looks good, Ted!

King Wingbipeekaboo likes to speak in the third person.

D'Artagnan wonders why this is.

Ted, without a doubt.

Therapy might help as you process this revelation.

I ran that picture through the mullet detector and I'm afraid it came up mullet-positive. Sorry Ted, but the detector doesn't lie.

crap, i made my refrence 4 minutes too late....

It's a metrosexual mullet, kind of like a yuppie bad hair day. Maybe it's a training mullet?

My husband and I have a game called slug mullet. It's just like slug bug. We have to make this call fairly often, and I'm sorry, Ted, but you are definitely slugable.

Mullet!

O! SQUIRREL brother,
Your tail, my hair. We are one.
Yet I must eat you.

It's not a Jewfro, it's an Isro.

Black people have afros because they're descended from people from Africa.

Therefore...

No...mullet haiku!
What a monster I unleashed.
Need more 24!

(Don't get me wrong...keep it up, everyone!)

It's a Business Mullet

Not too flashy, but w/just enough rebellion

Spector is obviously going for the insanity defense.

I and the future Bismissus vote yes.

I would say it is a Demi-Mullet!

Isro!-har. but i was referring to the term used in the 70s...but ok.
im sticking to my guns. ted doesnt have a mullet. but i did enjoy all those mullet sites.
Ted: weigh in here and let us know what you think, and if you're gonna change your hair style.....

Dude, that is SO a mullet.

Statement from Ted:

I can see how -- from that picture -- you might think I have a mullet. The choice of presenting that picture upon which to vote is like push polling, and when we see others in the political landscape doing this in presidential politics, we condemn it. So, I stand by my do, as does my hair stylist, and have no plans for a change. I did conduct my own survey yesterday, over a 3 hr timeframe. I asked the following people for an opinion:

1. Joseph (Orthodox Jew) -- my dry cleaner
2. The Fed Ex Guy when he showed up in the afternoon
3. I called my hairstylist
4. The honey at Starbucks on my way to a meeting yesterday
5. The receptionist where my meeting was. (she's up there on the babescape)

Results follow in the next post.

Statement from Ted:

I can see how -- from that picture -- you might think I have a mullet. The choice of presenting that picture upon which to vote is like push polling, and when we see others in the political landscape doing this in presidential politics, we condemn it. So, I stand by my do, as does my hair stylist, and have no plans for a change. I did conduct my own survey yesterday, over a 3 hr timeframe. I asked the following people for an opinion:

1. Joseph (Orthodox Jew) -- my dry cleaner
2. The Fed Ex Guy when he showed up in the afternoon
3. I called my hairstylist
4. The honey at Starbucks on my way to a meeting yesterday
5. The receptionist where my meeting was. (she's up there on the babescape)

Results follow in the next post.

Sorry about the double post. Survey says:

1. Joseph (Orthodox Jew)........"Mullet? What is Mullet?" Thinks my hair looks just fine. So I asked him about the Jewfro? "Why you hang out with people who talk like this?"
Translation: Not a Mullet

2. The Fed Ex Guy (who unquestionably sports a mullet)....I opted out and didn't ask him. I like getting my Fedex, so I hope you understand.
Result: No Vote.

3. My hairstylist....."They don't know what they're talking about, I don't do mullets." Translation: Not a Mullet.

4. The honey at Starbucks ....."definitely not a mullet...is this a pick up routine?"
Translation: Not a mullet.

5. The receptionist....She laughed, and said it wasn't a mullet -- "Not at all, been to kmart lately?"

Conclusion: Not a mullet.*

*But I am going back to that Starbucks in a couple days and if the same barista is there will poll her on the filibuster.

Ted,
The MG site has some examples very similar to the photo Dave posted of you.
I had a similar do in college, but it was long in back and on the top and sides, but when brushed back, it could have been construed as a mullet.

In any event, if YOU like it, everyone else can F---- off; be yourself. You're OK if you don't beat your wife, attend NASCAR events, raise pit bulls, etc..

"... the seas on my brain, my tradition remains, I'm just glad I don't live in a trailer".

Wearing a mullet is as much a state of mind as a hairdo. We, at the institute, after careful review, find a no-mullet.

It is however, important for the subject to understand that perception accounts for somethin, don't it?

LOL...uh, yeah. good polling Ted - you didnt ask yer parents? bwahhaaaa.

It's a real fine line he's riding there...and really is that the line you WANT to be riding? I vote.... not(quite)a Mullet.

Good god, people sure seem to be conservative with their application of the M-Label.

Me, I go by the ol' standard: "Bidness up front, partay out back". This Ted character is undoubtedly sporting a mullet. It's kept in the front, shorter on the sides, and down to the neck in the back.

The fact that this is even up for debate is absurd. The point which should be debated is, what species does it fall under? Let us consult mulletsgalore for research purposes:

-The dominant gene seems to be the "Businessmullet". A fitting excerpt from the description:

"Interesting creatures, their hair is short enough not to offend the boss, but long enough to keep their rebellious comrades from becoming suspicious."

-The recessive genes include the "Permullet", though, somewhere along the family tree, someone mated with a Jerry Curl.

Ted, my friend, that is a mullet, no matter how much extra you tipped your hairstylist to swear it isn't. As for your "poll", who is really going to say "yes" to you in person? That's like your wife asking if she looks fat, and you being honest and saying yes. No, they're just sparing you the embarassment...or, at least, sparing themselves the trouble of getting into a debate with you about it. Take it from an anonymous, unbiased source: It's a mullet.

Good god, people sure seem to be conservative with their application of the M-Label.

Me, I go by the ol' standard: "Bidness up front, partay out back". This Ted character is undoubtedly sporting a mullet. It's kept in the front, shorter on the sides, and down to the neck in the back.

The fact that this is even up for debate is absurd. The point which should be debated is, what species does it fall under? Let us consult mulletsgalore for research purposes:

-The dominant gene seems to be the "Businessmullet". A fitting excerpt from the description:

"Interesting creatures, their hair is short enough not to offend the boss, but long enough to keep their rebellious comrades from becoming suspicious."

-The recessive genes include the "Permullet", though, somewhere along the family tree, someone mated with a Jerry Curl.

Ted, my friend, that is a mullet, no matter how much extra you tipped your hairstylist to swear it isn't. As for your "poll", who is really going to say "yes" to you in person? That's like your wife asking if she looks fat, and you being honest and saying yes. No, they're just sparing you the embarassment...or, at least, sparing themselves the trouble of getting into a debate with you about it. Take it from an anonymous, unbiased source: It's a mullet.

Because of the importance of this issue, I have created a whole new thread for Ted's rebuttal (see May 25 postings).

Back in the 70s my 2nd husband (the Latino)had a Natural that stuck out about ten inches in all directions, I swear by Miss Clairol!! He called it the Mexifro.

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