GOOD MARKETING SENSE
It's important to give your business a catchy, easy-to-remember name.
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)
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May 23, 2005
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I want to see what the new names for the places will be where those French people had sex in public a few years ago.
Posted by: Gary | May 23, 2005 at 07:00 AM
Oh yeah, first. My first first!
Posted by: Gary | May 23, 2005 at 07:01 AM
we have restaurants with such catchy names: "place that the health department has just closed". yeah.
bwahhhhaaaa jeff.
Posted by: queensbee | May 23, 2005 at 07:04 AM
I had a place in town called "Restaurant Where Rats Have Been".....also called "Denny's"
Posted by: Punky Brewster | May 23, 2005 at 07:06 AM
"Restaurant Where Tyler Durden Made Soup"
or
"Restaurant Where Severed Finger Found"
Posted by: Lou Bricant | May 23, 2005 at 07:10 AM
.......restaurant at the end of the universe, of course...
in the elephant restaurant.... did they hang pix of the ephants on the walls, like they do in classy joints here, you know, with the autograph, you know, best wishes, spiny norman, blahaaaha, etc. ya think?
Posted by: queensbee | May 23, 2005 at 07:16 AM
"Restaurant Where Dirty Yo Mama Jokes Were Told"
or
"Restaurant Where Folgers Taste Tests Were Conducted, Before People Got Wind Of Just What Exactly Was Going On"
Posted by: D'Artagnan | May 23, 2005 at 07:19 AM
So I guess their soup is gray and comes in quarts.
Posted by: Balanchine | May 23, 2005 at 07:20 AM
I once spent 15 minutes in the "Restaurant where roaches roamed free."
Posted by: nurse | May 23, 2005 at 07:37 AM
kudos to Jeff. So, where're you gonna take Judi out to lunch the next time you're in Miami?
Posted by: MOTW | May 23, 2005 at 07:38 AM
"The Restaurant Where Lindsay Lohan & Nicole Richie Never Eaten"
(Pretty much covers all eateries)
Posted by: Lou Bricant | May 23, 2005 at 07:51 AM
How long before "Restaurant Where Elephants Didn't Roam Free" opens?
Punky - Denny's is scientifically important. The last three new species of rat were discovered there. On the menu.
Posted by: Christobol | May 23, 2005 at 07:52 AM
With apologies to Arlo:
You can get anything you want, at Restaurant Where Elephants Have Been
"Excepting Alice"
You can get anything you want, at Restaurant Where Elephants Have Been
Walk right in through the plate glass
Munch on carrots, soup and grass
You can get anything you want, at Restaurant Where Elephants Have Been
Posted by: Reddsuss | May 23, 2005 at 07:57 AM
Oh sure...it's okay for disease-infested cockroaches and mutant rats to run rampant throughout the planet's restaurants...no big deal. So a few curious elephants decide to do a little rummaging for some snacks and it makes front page news???
BYW...Mutant Rats WBAGNFARB...
Posted by: snif | May 23, 2005 at 07:57 AM
I suppose it beats Restaurant Where Elephants Have Been Served.
Oh wait, that's McDonald's.
Posted by: Kilmeny | May 23, 2005 at 08:04 AM
"Restaurant Where Food Poisoning Only Occassionally a Problem" Formerly known as Chili's
Posted by: Sarcasmo | May 23, 2005 at 08:23 AM
*snork*
It appears that the restaurant owner, at least in the ability to name places, is a khalutz, (kha -loots), a pioneer (in any field)
Posted by: Class Teacher | May 23, 2005 at 08:24 AM
Welcom to our new and improved Restaurant Where Elephants Have Been.
Table for four, please.
Right this way.
What the...
*SLIP*
Oh, and watch your step please. We are trying to keep the ambiance from our recent pachyderm pandemonium.
Posted by: igloo | May 23, 2005 at 08:31 AM
Weeeelllllllllll ... being quite free with our restaurant reviews today, aren't we all ...
Unfortunately, with my slow (not sloe, caught that typo in time) typing, I don't have the time in the day to contribute from my list ... naming the good ones would be a very short list, but not nearly as much fun ... so I'll just enjoy your comments ...
Posted by: U.O | May 23, 2005 at 08:36 AM
Kilmeny: Or, worse yet Restaurant Where Elephants Have Defecated
Or, of course, the restaurant that NO ONE will ever find, the:
Restaurant Where Jack Bauer Had Lunch
I like my usual holes in the wall, like the:
Restaurant Where No One Knows Your Name, And They're Never Glad You Came
*sigh*
I just wanna go where everyone knows my name...
(With MANY apologies...)
Posted by: tropichunt.com guy | May 23, 2005 at 08:36 AM
And then of course there's Restaurant Where the Food is Awful but You Won't Care Because... Breasts!
Posted by: KJP | May 23, 2005 at 09:01 AM
Sean, do you have any childhood issues you'd like to discuss? Need a sympathetic ear?
TOUGH!
*still PMS-Y and grumpy*
Posted by: Punky Brewster | May 23, 2005 at 09:04 AM
*loves Punky some chocolate*
Q: How can you tell if the elephants wondered through the refrigerator during their rampage?
A: Check for footprints in the butter.
****
Q: What's red and white on the outside and grey and white on the inside?
A: Campbell's Cream of Elephant Soup™
Posted by: slyeyes | May 23, 2005 at 09:11 AM
two filmmakers want to do a costume epic on the struggle to rebuild the Restaurant Where Elephants Have Been.
Their names? Merchant&Ivory !
In remembrance of pachyderms past
We've replaced all the windows they'd crashed
From the dawn to the dusk
We have worked on our 'tusk'
The new front is Kevlar ,not glass!
Posted by: insomniac | May 23, 2005 at 09:11 AM
RUMOR MILL
Punky is giving ear!
Posted by: morerumors | May 23, 2005 at 09:12 AM
At this point, Punky will give ear & both kidneys for a Hershey bar.....
Posted by: Punky Brewster | May 23, 2005 at 09:18 AM
OK, how 'bout "Restaurant where Rap Artists Try to Kill Each Other" Of course it would have to be a chain.
Oh, and what's the French word for restaurant, in case we go international.
Posted by: pogo | May 23, 2005 at 09:24 AM
TropicHunt, you're welcome in my restauraunt anytime.
Posted by: Kilmeny | May 23, 2005 at 09:24 AM
True story: A friend was having lunch at a restaurant in Seattle's Pioneer Square. Disconcerted to note a cockroach behind the salt shaker, he called the waiter over to his table. Waiter smiled and said, "Oh yes, that's Ernie."
Posted by: sandy beach | May 23, 2005 at 09:25 AM
FYI - In an authentic barbecue joint, cockroaches are mandatory. They come in from the wood shed with the hickory wood.
Posted by: pogo | May 23, 2005 at 09:28 AM
*Gives Punky lots of Kisses* (Hersheys, people, Hersheys)
"Restaurant where waitress gave her boyfriend the cook a FOOT rub at a table right next to the cash register and I swallowed my vomit, because I saw this only after I'd eaten there"
Posted by: Mr.Fishair | May 23, 2005 at 09:32 AM
Sly:
Q: What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?
A: Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
Posted by: Reddsuss | May 23, 2005 at 09:34 AM
True story #2: Another friend worked in the kitchen at another restaurant in Pioneer Square, which is near the stadium. Sunday brunch before football games is rush time and this restaurant's specialty is Eggs Benedict on game days. In the middle of the brunch rush, someone discovered a drowned rat in the Hollandaise. What did they do? There was really no choice--they fished it out. The show must go on.
Posted by: sandy beach | May 23, 2005 at 09:36 AM
*faint*
Posted by: slyeyes | May 23, 2005 at 09:39 AM
I don't ever remember going to Seattle?!
Posted by: Mr.Fishair | May 23, 2005 at 09:41 AM
Sandy,
What did they use to fish it out? Plastic worm? Live Bait? Or simply a piece of cheese on a no 2 treble hook?
Posted by: igloo | May 23, 2005 at 09:41 AM
aaahhhga!
*rushes smellin' salts to slyeyes*
now you've done it!
Posted by: omgosh! | May 23, 2005 at 09:43 AM
Good thread. *thumbs up* I approve. Carry on.
Posted by: Tamara | May 23, 2005 at 09:44 AM
Psssstt! Pass it on.
Tamara has her thumb up it and is
Pleased!
Posted by: Rumor Again | May 23, 2005 at 09:47 AM
Igloo...THANK YOU for your thoughtful and timely link! (I actually ordered one!!!!!! EXPRESS MAIL!)
Sean.....How about chocolate dipped Midol?
*goes off to gorge on chocolate, feeling weepy and bloated*
Posted by: Punky Brewster | May 23, 2005 at 09:48 AM
True story #3: And this other friend, at this other restaurant...
*notices sly passed out in the corner*
Um, never mind.
Posted by: sandy beach | May 23, 2005 at 09:51 AM
Hollandaise Rat = Had A Real Tonsil = Harold, A Saltine...
Posted by: D'Artagnan | May 23, 2005 at 09:51 AM
My Favorite Elephant Joke:
Q: What do you do to an Elephant with 3 balls?
A: Walk him and pitch to the Rhino.
Ba-dum-pish!
Posted by: Sarcasmo | May 23, 2005 at 09:53 AM
Redsuss:
Q: How is an elephant like a grape?
A: They're both small and purple, except for the elephant.
Posted by: Gary | May 23, 2005 at 10:01 AM
Puunky - How about a
mochachino or
two to cheer you up?? :)
Posted by: Eleanor | May 23, 2005 at 10:06 AM
Bravo to insom and D'Art!
Let's hear it for our boys
Let's give our boys a hand
Posted by: Eleanor | May 23, 2005 at 10:08 AM
Eleanor!!!!! Nothing like a hot, tall mochachino to cheer a girl up!
(Couldn't you just lick Lenny all over!!?)
*settles for giganto chocolate bar*
Posted by: Punky Brewster | May 23, 2005 at 10:09 AM
pogo --
With my limited skills in French (the language! -- what did ewe think I meant?!?!?!), I believe the designation (nom de plume du jour, if you will) for restaurant is la Trine ... tho I could be in error ... but I hear they got slimy little crawly things around the kitchen ...
Posted by: U.O | May 23, 2005 at 10:18 AM
Punky - did you ever see his video where he walks into the shower (naked!) and you see his fabulous a** from the side!!
*hyperventilating*
Posted by: Eleanor | May 23, 2005 at 10:30 AM
What is so remarkable about his arm?
Posted by: D'Artagnan | May 23, 2005 at 10:31 AM
oh my Stars! (and other geezerly stuff)
ah will Nevah again trust anything that
ends with `aise'....*shudder*
Posted by: ewwww | May 23, 2005 at 10:34 AM
Eleanor - Tivo'd it!! I get to shower with Lenny whenever I feel dirty.
*smears rest of chocolate all over herself*
Posted by: Punky Brewster | May 23, 2005 at 10:38 AM
A list of other failed restaurant names:
L'Maison du E-Coli
International House of Pancreatitis
Little Italy's Vomitorium
Soon Up-chuk's Dunkin' Dognuts
Big Vern's Bait and Sushi Emporium
Posted by: Crabby Appleton | May 23, 2005 at 10:45 AM
*takes lots of pictures*
*quietly*
Posted by: Mr.Fishair | May 23, 2005 at 10:45 AM
D'Art said: What is so remarkable about his arm?
*snork!* I liked that. I'd give another thumbs-up, but we all know what happened last time...
Posted by: Tamara | May 23, 2005 at 11:59 AM
Punky and chocolate?
I'm in.
Posted by: elle | May 23, 2005 at 01:37 PM
You can pick your friends,and you can pick your nose.But, you can't pick your friend's nose.This has always been the motto of any good elephant restaurant.
Posted by: william cormeny | May 23, 2005 at 04:30 PM