« Previous | Main | Next »

May 17, 2005

GOOD ADVICE

If a snake bites you, try to have someone take a photo of it.

Comments

Feed You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.

WOW! Someone's up early

Mother snake: So, you bit that hiker.

Baby snake, proudly: YEP! I DID!

Mother snake: So, what did you think?

Baby snake: Tastes like chicken!

Hey snake...do me a favor...don't let go 'til I can run home and find my camera.

A photo of the snake, or a photo of the bite?

Yet another example of why I stay in my house and read instead of venturing out into nature. I'd rather read Dave than climb rocks.

"Alright snake, I have to photograph you now that you've bitten me."

"Ok thats fine, but my left side is my good side, so be sure to angle the shot correctly."

Okay, it took a few takes but I finally got a good one, now what? I'm actually getting a little sleepy . . .

"work it..that's it...now give me a pouty lip, no that's too much tongue...."

Well, what kind of advice do you expect from a channel that isn't even a whole number? I mean, 7/39? Couldn't they at least get something that doesn't require a calculator, like 1/5 or 2/9?

"Even though adult snakes are more dangerous than young ones, experts say the younger snakes are more jittery and more likely to bite and less likely to give warnings."

Officials at University of California San Diego are quickly reacting to the news and have altered their summer catalog to include the following classes for the insurgence of inexperienced young snakes:

* Letting Go - catch and release techniques
* Modeling - how to strike a pose after you've struck your victim
* Patience 101 - timing is everything

KJP - maybe they meant the report is only 7/39 special. Lessee, according to my trusty Sharp, that makes it almost an 18% Special Report.

Maybe with a little effort, they could upgrade:

NBC New and Improved 14/39 Special Reports - now with Twice the Special!

sssssssay cheessssssssssse!

"Even though adult snakes are more dangerous than young ones, experts say the younger snakes are more jittery and more likely to bite and less likely to give warnings."

Officials at University of California San Diego are quickly reacting to the news and have altered their summer catalog to include the following classes for the insurgence of inexperienced young snakes:

* Letting Go - catch and release techniques
* Modeling - how to strike a pose after you've struck your victim
* Patience 101 - timing is everything

That's silly. Who can really get a picture of the snake at a time like that? When you're busy screaming and crapping everywhere?

That's why every time I leave the couch - EVERY TIME - I carry my backpack filled with pictures of every known snake, spider, stinging insect, and aggressive member of the rabbit family.

HEY People - Do NOT diss our best TV station! I could explain why they are called 7/39 but then some of you would feel like idiots (!), so I won't embarass anyone! :)

Moral of the story: Enjoy the outdoors from indoors! Esp if you live in this area!

is this the blog doing the 24 trip diary? you better photograph a 24 snake if bitten. it could help make your blog watchers better citizens and show a good example of the swelling involved at the same time. what's a four letter word for fanged pedestrian.

so I won't embarass anyone! :)

Except myself for failure to spell embarrass correctly!!

*slinks off in snake like fashion*

Eleanor, don't feel alone. When I lived in Colorado Springs and friends would visit me there, they couldn't figure out why the NBC affiliate was on channels 5/30. And some of them, once I explained, didn't know from VHF and UHF.

Sigh. Ready to take my seat on the geezer bus -- the one with the foil-wrapped rabbit ears.

Umm... 7 days a week, 39 weeks a year?

i had the same problem balanchine.. i thought they meant take a pic of the snakebite. well duh. I'm a highly urban person. my idea of camping is to go to a motel without cable. so, no danger of snakebites here, unless rattlers start showing up in the mall.

Channels 5/30

*goes to calculater*

hum, 5 divided by 30? that's a pretty small number... and repeating

0.16666

NO WONDER THEY'RE AN AFFILIATE!

They can't even afford a whole number!

*thought bangi had problem with vowels*

I keep getting a mental image of Japanese hikers. I'm not sure why.

Um, not trying to imitate the Prez there. Machine had a hiccup on the upload. While trying to figure out channels 5/30, most likely.

W - Exactly!!! So what would really be the point??

Darth - sooo sorry....wrong!!!

queensbee - I totally identify - staying in a hotel without room service is really "roughing it"

let me try:

the "39" is because channel 39 used to be ABC.

the "7" refers to IQ level of those who choose to live in california.

OK El I give up: why is is called 7/39?

Three words I never thought I'd hear from slyeyes:

too much tongue

long tall texan - good one!

My mother preferred the method of bringing Dad to see the remains of the snake that she'd hysterically chopped the into tiny pieces with the closest garden implement as a means of identification. Then she liked to run over it with the lawn mower to be really, really sure it was dead.

Only then would she feel safe enough to seek medical attention.

This remains a great source of amusement to her children, even into adulthood.

about 7/39 still doesn't answer the question of why there's a slash in their channel name.

Sarcasmo! She actually said THAT!?

muttermuttercan'tbelieveiteithermutter

Kibby, 8th comment . . . believe it!

"Is that the picture of the snake that bit him?"
"Yup, looks like he was using a crap cam-you can't see any details."
"Yeah, he was shaking or something, its all out of focus."
"Hmmm. Soo.. ah what kind of snake do you think is was?"
"Hard to tell, see that stripe, could be copperhead, or a rattler.. hmm."
"No no, look here I'll get my reference book."
"Ok"
"Let's see here.. cobra, python..no..hmm man too bad that photo is so crappy."
"Here we go I bet it was a black death adder..yeah see right here its got that mark right near its eyes and you can see that in the photo."
"Yeah yeah I think your right."
"Yup, that it, I'm positive..see right here it says 'very deadly poison'"
"That would explain why he's dead."
"yup"

"Thank you for selecting Big Earl's Mother of Perpetual Agony Hospital and Organ Farm. How may we help you today?"

"Got bit by a snake!"

"Oh dear. Here, fill out these forms while I run all your major credit cards. Be sure to sign the forcible organ extraction waiver."

"I have a picture of the snake that bit me!"

"That's nice. Everyone needs a hobby."

"No, I was thinking you could use it, to find the antivenom."

"Oh, to try to save you? What the hell. Hand me your phone.....Very funny sir. That picture is quite nasty, and I believe there are laws regarding the treatment of livestalk in this county."

"No, scroll ahead."

"Good grief! What made you think those pants and shirt go together?"

"SCROLL AHEAD!"

"Okay. Ah, yes. That is a big snake. But I think we can take care of you. Did you sign all the forms?"

"Yes!"

"Earl, we've got two eyes, a lung, and some kidneys needing your attention over here."

"What about the snake bite!?"

"Oh yeah, forget the right leg, it's been poisoned."

Q: What the hell are "livestalk"?
A: That's how they spell it, there in that county.
Q: Right.

We don't care, as long as you keep it comin'!

We don't care, as long as you keep it comin'!

I like to strap about 50 cell phones all over my body with duct tape before I leave the house. That way, when a snake bites, it either bites into a phone, thereby saving me from having to deal with a pesky excess of poison in my system, or if the bite misses, dang it, at least I've come prepared to snap a crappy photo.

Or several, depending on how long I live afterwards.

geezly,
7 local/39 cable

But if you are attacked by multiple snakes and they all strike a phone, how do you keep from going over your minutes and getting a huuuge post mortem phone bill? Those companies can track you down even after death ya know.

RE: 7/39 major issue *snork*

W and d'oh have previously explained it for those of you who have 4th grade reading ability - OH, sorry, long tall texan, I didn't mean to exclude you!

*zips out to get crayons and draw picture for long tall texan*

Christobol, LOL for "Earl, we've got two eyes, a lung, and some kidneys needing your attention over here."

* e-ms c-bol some Strong coffee*

Okay, here's the real deal on the seemingly fractioned stations: some TV markets are too close together, like San Diego and Los Angeles or Denver and Colorado Springs. In most cases, the larger city's stations broadcast over-the-air on the VHF band (Channels 2-13), and the stations in the smaller market are assigned UHF channels (14 on up into the 70s or 80s, if I recall correctly) by the FCC so that signals don't overlap. With me so far?

Now in Colorado Springs' case (and this may or may not be true in San Diego, you'd [not "yood"] have to ask Eleanor), there's another nearby city smaller still -- Pueblo -- which is far enough away from Denver that they are able to use the VHF band. However, it's too small to support its own TV market. So KOAA broadcasts on channel 30 in C.S. and channel 5 in Pueblo. Has nothing to do with where they're located on cable or satellite.

All clear? Good. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go shine my spats and churn some butter...

Some don't realize their proximity to a rattler until it's too late.

they didn't hear it rattle?

As a precation, if you see a snake, get a good close-up photo first, that way if it bites you, your shot won't get screwed up by that shaking and dis-orientation that the pain and venom cause.

Signed, Mr. Helpy Helper Guy

Trillian,

The horrible thing about that rattle is that it seems to come from all directions. Still worse, by the time you've located the snake and picked a path in the opposite direction, your shoes are so wet that it's difficult get traction.

goo one SM
SA...snork!

Correct me if I'm wrong, SM, (I'm not) but wasn't "The Snake" by Al Wilson?

WriterDude: Exactly! Only that here in su.so.ca. they broadcast from Tiajuana, our neighbors to the South!

Hee, I grew up in Escondido, so I remember 39/7. (Up in North County, we put the 39 first)

fotobear,
perfect!

And if you can dress the snake in a tuxedo first, all the better!

StuMan - another reason to avoid snakes, courtesy of Tom T. Hall:

Boys and girls take warning, if you go near the lake
Keep your eyes wide open, and look for sneaky snake
Now maybe you won’t see him, maybe you won’t hear
But he’ll sneak up behind you, and drink all your root beer

And then sneaky snake goes dancin’, wigglin’ and a-hissin’
Sneaky snake goes dancin’, gigglin’ and a-kissin’
I don’t like old sneaky snake; he laughs too much you see
When he goes wigglin’ through the grass, it tickles his underneath

Well, sneaky snake drinks root beer, and he just makes me sick
When he is not dancin’, he looks just like a stick
Now, he doesn’t have any arms or legs, you cannot see his ears
And while we are not lookin’, he’s stealin’ all of our beer

And then sneaky snake goes dancin’, wigglin’ and a-hissin’
Sneaky snake goes dancin’, gigglin’ and a-kissin’
I don’t like old sneaky snake; he laughs too much you see
When he goes wigglin’ through the grass, it tickles his underneath

Suppoee the snake does not bite "it": do you still take a picture of "it"?

Ha Escondido ! Thats all i have to say!

Maybe thats why the snake bit you...It wanted its picture taken!

its pretty obvious to me that if you hear a snake or see a snake and especially if it is in the strike pose, you better have a camera and be prepared to take some photos or else your going to get bit!!!

The comments to this entry are closed.

-
 
Terms of Service | Privacy Policy | Copyright | About The Miami Herald | Advertise