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May 31, 2005

ATTENTION, PARENTS SEEKING JUST THE RIGHT PLAYTHING FOR BABY

How about a snake?

Key Quote: "I think she is a special child."

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Ooo! Ooo! First?

there's a church someplace in tennessee that may hire this tot to be the minister....

Wife: What is the baby doing, dear?
Hubby: She's playing with the snake I wanted to show to my friend.
Wife: Then why do I hear a rattle?
Both: EEEEEEEKK!

Just in case you were wondering how to raise a girl so that when she grows up she might end up in a video having sex with an octopus....

How big is that child again?

LUCKNOW? Seems like they're going to run out of luck if they keep tempting fate like this.

Her next pet will be a tarantula, followed by a rapid pit bull, and then an alligator.

If the kid survives, mom has a polar bear on order.

They have been working for rehabilitation of snakes for the last six years.

What are they doing? Some kind of 12-step program for recovering alcoholic snakes? Not that this is my area of expertise, but it seems that a snake should be able to recover in less than six years.

Her next pet will be a tarantula, followed by a rapid pit bull, and then an alligator.

If the kid survives, mom has a polar bear on order.

He wrapped the boa around her neck??? Not poisonous, but known to squeeze its prey to death.

Want to bet they have serious insurance on this child?

OE - I hadn't seen that one - LOL!

somewhere north -

agent: You would like to insure your child for a billion rupees?

parents: Yes.

agent: What do you do for a living?

parents: We're professional snake rehabilitators.

agent: Next !

These people rehabilitate snakes? How do you tell when a snake is rehabilitated--when it grows legs and fur? But then there's the risk of getting stepped on by a German TV news bimbo.

Would a snake rehab consist of a 12-slither program?

Would a snake rehab consist of a 12-slither program?

Rehabilitated from WHAT?! What did these snakes do that they need rehab? I presume they are not addicted to squeezing small children to death. I suppose it means that they were poorly and needed nursing back to health. These snakes are just cuddly coils of fun and affection now. Yeesh.

I'm assuming they are talking about a rough-scaled sand boa. These make great pets and aren't very big.

But... don't ALL babies grab the tails of dogs and cats?

I've got something that makes a great pet and isn't very big RIGHT HERE!

Wait. Dammit.

Trystan - Are the Rapid Pit Bulls the ones that leap tall fences in a single bound and grab the mailman? As opposed to the ones who have rabies and are maybe a little slower...

We all just know how this story is going to update. Don't we?

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