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May 27, 2005

ARE BANKERS BORING?

Apparently not.

Comments

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He wanted to make a deposit, apparently.

I have to pay an extra monthly fee to get this service...

Thos wacky bankers - famous for having a sense of humor!

Probably wanted to start off his 3-day weekend with a bang!!!

ba-da-bum.

Well, technically he wasn't COMPLETELY nude . . .

Well, after all, he did work for Chase Bank.

Then again, he may have been auditioning for a position at the Danish Sperm Bank.

Or Chase Wank.

ARE BANKERS BORING?
Obviously this particular banker tried to "bore" the wrong person.

My dad was a banker for 20 years.

'Nuff said.

it wasnt that he was a banker, or nude, but he was in NEW JERSEY. apparently they have some whacky laws there.

Only a banker would put on a condom well before trying to rape someone. Gotta remember the bottom line! Gotta consider the risks!

He's lucky he had a condom on, with pepper spray involved.

Pepper spray + winky = big ouchie.

it's a good indication that crime is not meant to be your life's calling when you try to victimize an undercover police officer.

This was a very calculated crime...

There once was a friendly Chase banker,
who was looking to use his wee wanker.
But much to his suprise,
She was from CSI,
Now the banker is in the town slammer.

are they sure it was a condom, and not one of those wrappers for rolls of quarters? (I'm being charitable here by not saying 'dimes'.)

Just wondering:

Why did the headline writer feel the need to mention the name of the bank the perp worked for (past tense)? Does he bank at Citi or something?

Why is it in the body of the story for that matter? Is it essential information? Methinks not.

(You can always tell an old newspaper guy, huh?)

iggy: nice Limerick!

Just wondering:

Why did the headline writer feel the need to mention the name of the bank the perp worked for (past tense)? Does he bank at Citi or something?

Why is it in the body of the story for that matter? Is it essential information? Methinks not.

(You can always tell an old newspaper guy, huh?)

Federal Duck, do you speak from experience?

Jeff....slow down...do you need a cookie & juice break?

King Wingbipeekaboo says "no," bankers are not boring. Stupid, yes; boring, no.

he was a chartered accountant and he wanted to be a lion tamer ....

Hey Schadeboy! Check your blog comments.

The thing is, she threatened him with her mace and called for backup not because he was naked (except for a condom) and trying to hump her, but because he just wouldn't shut up about refinancing her house.

Jeff: Good memory! Ironically, Kelly (Caruso) was supposed to be the lead character in Blue. Can you imagine that show lasting so long with Stiff-As-A-Board as the lead instead of Sipowicz?

LabSpecimen - thanks for pointing me back there. I haven't been able to blog anything for the past couple of days. Totall forgot about it. Sheesh...what kind of blogger am I?

A slacker blogger? A SlackBlogger? A BlogSlacker? Blogacker. Slogger. Nothin'. I gots nothin'.

Joke:
How do you drown a blonde?
Hold her head underwater until she can no longer breathe and stops struggling.

"Slogger". Aint that what some of them there ferigners call beer?

"Slogger". Aint that what some of them there ferigners call beer?

My favourite line is where he plans to plead not guilty. Caught red-handed (and naked and "gift wrapped") in the act by a cop, whose powers of observations are enhanced by training and he expects to get away with this. Truth is so much stranger/funnier than fiction...

KOW - I could get him off (and just shut up about the get off).

Lawyerbol: And so, tell us again how you were attacked by a group of jogging, sexually voracious women who were mindful of unwanted pregnancy and disease issues when you were walking through the park looking for wild flowers for a display you hoped to pull together down at the homeless nuns shelter.

Banker: I...

Lawyerbol: So it's your testimony that these women forced you to strip naked and put a condom on you, then forced you to perform all sorts of extremely gratifying maneuvres. Then they ran off, and as you stumbled through the brush looking for a safe haven, a place to rest and replenish your fluids, the accuser here accosted you, threatening you with mace and calling the police.

Banker: I...

Lawyerbol: And in your state of victimized grief there just wasn't any way to know she was an off duty cop who actually thought you were going to attack her, of all absurd notions!

Prosecution: Your honor, normally I would object, as the defense is clearly testifying here, not asking questions, but I like his penguin thong.

Judge: Me too. Case dismissed.

---

I could get him acquitted. But I won't. I don't bank at Chase.

c(lawyer)bol - after all those other women, he should plead 'diminished capacity'.

What I can't figure out is, where was Ted hgbat-htba-garble-SMITH when all this was happening? Did the perp sport a Mullet?

rufus. That was one of the funniest friggin' things I've ever read in my entire life.

Victoria,
Glad someone enjoyed it.

Brain - Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Pinky - I think so, Brain, but isn't that why they invented tube socks?

I tried to find a link to the news story about the kid in Maine who went skateboarding, naked except for a "strategically placed" tube sock (or sock puppet or something). I guess the story is too old to find, or maybe I'm the one that's too old.

PFM, loved the Saga of Smeagel...lol.
thanks for the site.

For Aunt Nancy, My favorite Pinky & the Brain line. (I still can't believe that they got away with it in a "kid's" cartoon.)

Brain: Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Pinky: I think so, Brain. But where will we get rubber pants at this time of night?

And, not to encourage him, but I actually laughed at Random Street Lunatic's joke. NOt because it was about drowning blondes, but because of the word play. Or maybe there is just something horribly wrong with me.

rufus,
great link...Funny story.
Lord, i love the South.

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