YOU MAY CALL THEM PATHETIC GEEK NERD-O LOSERS

But this blog calls them people who are lining up for a movie seven weeks in advance at the wrong theater.

(Thanks to Ted Habte-Gabr, West Coast correspondent and Field Coordinator for the Dave Barry for President in 2000 2004 2008 juggernaut)

Comments

[Mahatma Kane Jeeves]

We may? Thanks, Dave!

[marlodianne]

What I want to know is:

Couldn't they find *jobs*? What? They don't need them? Must be nice. So much life to waste you can squat on a sidewalk for 2 months and no one misses you...Not so nice.

I'd say they'll feel silly in two months, but if they were at the *right* theatre they should feel silly. Seeing any of the new Star Wars movies is a fate worse than death anyway...

[gina.g]

*sigh* our country is so going down the toilet

[Reddsuss]

Don't tell Jamie...

[Brainy Jello]

marlo - I may be out on a limb, but if taken literally, isn't that lacking a little perspective? I mean - you're actually rather die? I mean, if someone said "If you don't watch this movie, we will kill you," you'd just tell them, "Well, I definitely can't watch THAT movie."

[Eleanor]

And the article I read about this (sorry Dave, not the one you posted, which I see no need to read, feeling fully informed on this important issue) said they wouldn't move to the "right" theater for fear they're being "punk'd"!

*is proud that she's so hip that she knows what "punk'd means*

[Mr.Fishair]

*Says Good Bye to Cellulite!*

(Look to your right)

*proudly smacks Eleanors hips*

[blurkerette]

they should be lining up for G2G instead

[punky brewster]

Hobbies for sale.

Anyone need a real hobby?

Hobbies for sale.

Lowest price around.

[Jeff Meyerson]

marlo - I may be out on a limb, but if taken literally, isn't that lacking a little perspective? I mean - you're actually rather die? I mean, if someone said "If you don't watch this movie, we will kill you," you'd just tell them, "Well, I definitely can't watch THAT movie."

Brainy, to quote Jack Benny: "I'm thinking it over."

My favorite part is that they refused to believe it and thought they were being lied to. How sad.
Time to get a life, people.

Again, I hate to carp Dave, and I realize that I'm not the head of your Election Committee (though as you know I am a supporter), but I DID send this in yesterday: Ananova version.

Key line: "However, the fans are refusing to move, believing the news to be false reports BBC online."

[Mahatma Kane Jeeves]

Those guys are just pathetic geek nerd-o losers (thanks again Dave).

And "Say Good Bye to Cellulite" ad is back on the right, finally!

[marlodianne]

Brainy Jello: have you *seen* this shite? Did you consider tearing out your eyes? and maybe puncturing your ear drums?

My spouse was rabid that he's seen all the Star Wars in the theatre, so he has to see all these too. He severely tested the bounds of love and devotion on this one. After Utter Crap 2, no deals or pleading or guilt snits will work. He will not get me in that theatre unless he is dragging my corpse by the hair.

Ergo, yes. If someone said 'we will continue to insult the real stars wars, and also force you to watch yet another gross bloated installment of the worst in writing, acting, directing, and everything else, where you just want to overall barf all over it
until you're spitting chunks of actual spleen....oh, and you will forever after hear brain-damaged fanboys praise it as high art, so that you will slowly go insane, convinced that, in all things, humans truly are the stupidest most revolting most mindless creatures in the universe--but you could just die instead.'

My answer will be, and I quote:

*dies*

[Mr.Fishair]

Punky- I'll give ya two clams for it.

[D'Artagnan]

Actually, Nerd-o sounds like Jacko, and I refuse to be that insulting to anyone.

And Jeff, you just haddock carp Dave, didn't you. You're always fishing for credit just for the sole halibut.

[Mahatma Kane Jeeves]

marloddy: so, what is it exactly you're trying to say? LOL!

[Mahatma Kane Jeeves]

Someone say hobby? Well, how 'bout the A-Team Eggs with Van and helicopter?

[«LabSpecimen»]

Let's say, for the sake of argument, that my wife (The Wench) has really, really bad taste in movies. [Almost as bad as her taste in men, you say] Let's say she really wants to go see Star Wars Lite III (or whatever it's called) and asks me to take her. Without hesitation I agree, just because she asked me to, even though I fear that my brain will turn slushy and ooze out my ears.

Of course, I'd probably have her killed before the movie actually opened so that I wouldn't *really* have to go.

Please don't take that as a suggestion, Marlo. *wink* *wink*

[Jeff Meyerson]

After Utter Crap 2, no deals or pleading or guilt snits will work. He will not get me in that theatre unless he is dragging my corpse by the hair.

Marlo, stand your ground! I felt that way after Utter Crap 1 and nothing would get me to #2 or #3. I'd rather watch Alien Resurrection three more times.

[Somewhere North]

I'll go to see it but not on the first night. I'll probably wait until I've seen all the episodes of CIS, resorted to 24, moved on to the 118th season of American Idol, the 224 season of the Bachelor and finally, when my mind has been reduced to a puddle of goo... I'll give in and go see Star Wars Episode 2189.

But I WILL go to the right theatre.

[D'Artagnan]

Crack commando egg unit

LOLMKJ (not 2B konfused w/OMGWTFBBQ).

[tyler]

heh, Im with MKJ. So, marlodianne, are you saying you don't want to see the new star wars movie? It's not really that clear to me.
Have you been taken over by the dark side?
Marlo-listen to me...I am your father..
Marlo: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
*heavy breathing sound*
Release your inner dork-child and join me in the line at the wrong theater, it is your destiny.

[Somewhere North]

I'm hoping for an alternate ending... you know, Anakin Skywalker suddenly decides to join Saturnalia and takes up sacrificing goats while Amadalia becomes a Christian Scientist and teams up with Madonna for a Gap commercial and the twins are hermaphradites who mistake Yoda for a chicken and accidentally eat him.

You know... otherwise I already know how it ends so really what is the point?

[i just blurk here]

Yeah, it seems like the perfect movie for those who were suprpised / outraged at the endings of Romeo and Juliet and Titanic.

[D'Artagnan]

What?!?! Yoda is not a chicken?

And I didn't see Juliet and Titanic, but I bet that's probably pretty good.

[Yoda's Frozen Head]

"Hmmmmmm, directionally-challenged, they are."

[Bangi]

New game! new game!!

When is it an inappropriate time to say
" May the force be with u"?

[mudstuffin]

a haiku

makeshift canopy
smelly feet, no self respect
light saber, ready

another

standing in the sun
sweat drips down the jedi's back
long wait, so worth it

one more

I have heard it said
"you may be a redneck if..."
the thoughts of a mere human

[tyler]

I'll play bangi!
If marlodianne's spouse is draging her corpse into the line for the wrong theater, and she looks up at you from her undead gouged-out eyeholes; Do not say "May the force be with you" to her. She would be REALLY mad then.

[silver]

I personally call them geek nerd losers...

Honestly, seven weeks early? Pleeeeeaseeee... We KNOW what happens in the end, and no amount of cheesy acting and wooden lines is going to change that!

(I would make unflattering refences to "Titanic", but I am proud to say I have never seen it)

[Evelyn]

These people just crack me up. They have to see the movie that bad? I bet these people all drive new cars and have over $50,000 in credit card debt because they have to get that "new" item that's hot before anyone else.

[markhh]

Bangi:

That is a trick question. Any time is inappropriate.

More interesting question:

When is it inappropriate to smack someone who says "may the force be with you"?

[Mahatma Kane Jeeves]

May the Force Be With Ewe

[Dave]

Mud:

makeshift canopy

smelly feet, no self respect

light saber, ready

Excellent.

[TN]

I'm going to share my one and only duct tape observation now:

"Duct tape is like the force...it has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together."

That is all.

[punky brewster]

*whispers to Mud*

Dude you got Kudos from the big guy. How cool is THAT?!

[Graz]

Romeo and Juliet and Titanic

So many "going down jokes"....so little time.....

[DRather]

Your Daveness,
I realise that you, like Harold Stassen, are continuing your effort to be elected President of the United States. Our crack correspondents have noticed that your election site still refers to the year 2000!
What gives? Are you still trying to pay-off your 2000 campaign debts? Or are you not aware that the 2000 election is over? Is the crap cam a left over from that election?
We will be delving into all aspects of your campaign and your cooperation will be greatly appreciated.
You should also be aware that we have in our possession superbly forged documents that prove you are really Barry Manilow. These affidavits from people all over the world, including Claire Martin, attest to the fact that they have never seen Dave Barry and Barry Manilow together in the same room.
Mr. Barry, you realize of course, that once this is exposed, your base of supporters, bloggers, will melt away like so much ice on a deserted island without the benefit of shade in the sub tropic zone in the Pacific Ocean at noon Central Pacific Time.
So, don't hesitate to make yourself for our patented ambush interview.
Regards,

Kenneth

[tyler]

more haiku for u-

I am your father.
Join me in the dark side, Luke.
(over acting)- NOOOOO!

Seven weeks in line,
if this is the wrong theater,
will I kill myself?

[mudstuffin]

*sigh*

(dies a happy man)

[philintexas]

Vermin on the sidewalks? Break out the water cannon boys, time to clean up this town.

[Mahatma Kane Jeeves]

Ted: Thanks!

And, uh, no!

[silver]

Sooo if I were to call up loser nerd boys (you KNOW they are all boys) on a pay phone... what would that make me?

Never mind. Don't answer that.

[Somewhere North]

Perhaps someone should call them and let them know they are at the wrong theatre.

[Somewhere North]

While you've got them on the line, mention that their bosses called and they're fired, their landlords called and they're behind on the rent and oh, the kids need to be picked up at daycare and the car will be repossessed if they don't mail the d*mn cheque....

You know... life.

After thinking of all that, I've guessed they're really onto something. Anyone want to go stand in a pointless line for 2 months and forget about life?

[Sondra]

you mean, like, a free vacation?

[Funny Name]

Wait--it's for charity! Per the "lining up" site, not only are they standing in line, but they're paying at least $50 to do so (not including tickets & popcorn). Guess we should now call them Pathetic Geek Nerd-o Loser Philanthropists.

[randomRach]

Not that I'm saying this is a good use of time, but yes, it is for charity, and a good one at that:

"We have now raised over $8100 for the Starlight Starbright Children's Foundation! You can find out more about what this incredible organization does to help brighten the lives of seriously ill children and their families at their website. Thank you to all who have donated so far and for the continued support of our line up at Grauman's Chinese Theatre."

So they might be crazed fanboys & girls, and apparently they didn't get the memo about how WE KNOW WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN and anyway, Geo Lucas has gone waaaaaaaaaay 'round the bend, but at least they're helping kids. I didn't raise $8100 for ANYONE today.

[randomRach]

Oo. The foundation involves clowns. Figures there'd be clowns.

Maybe the entertainment they are providing is allowing the seriously ill kids to laugh at them while they wait.

[jamie the star wars nerdgirl]

::sigh:: sorry i've been absent lately, school and all...

at least there's always people less occupied and nerdier than me.

[Greg]

As a personal friend of someone who is there and heavily involved with the planning and execution, let me say a few things.

1) They don't care whether the movie is good or bad. 6 years ago, they lined up because they wanted to see a movie that they were anticipating a whole lot. It turned out the movie kinda sucked, but they also realized that they had a hell of a good time living out there with like-minded people. So they come back for the experience, movie be damned.

2) They've been told before that the previous episodes wouldn't be playing at the Chinese. Lo-and-hold they were played there. Fool me once...

3) They ARE raising money for charity, and they raise that money by being highly visible. Hollywood Blvd. in front of the Chinese theater is a heavily trafficed area where they get a ton of exposure. Sunset, in front of the Arclight is deadsville comparatively. They'd be doing a disservice to the charity by moving.

4) Not only does their location afford better fund raising opportunities, it's just a more interesting place to be. And since we've already determined in #1 that they are there for the experience, not the movie, they have no desire to walk away from the most entertaining of locations.

5) The logistics of moving are near impossible. To even do this, they spent time and money getting clearances from police, deals with local businesses, and sponsorship from the charity. They've put money and effort into creating their little temporary city. It's not just a simple matter of moving a couple sleeping bags downt he road.

6) They're more than happy to have the media attention of "being in the wrong place." No press is bad press. The more attention this brings them, the more opportunity to raise money for the foundation.

[Jeff Meyerson]

Ted's link to lining-up loser-nerdboys.

Somewhere North: I told you, they don't believe they're(not there) at the wrong theater.

"However, the fans are refusing to move, believing the news to be false reports BBC online."

While you've got them on the line, mention that their bosses called and they're fired, their landlords called and they're behind on the rent and oh, the kids need to be picked up at daycare and the car will be repossessed if they don't mail the d*mn cheque....

You know... life.

Somewhere: this one is easy.

1. They live with their parents.
2. They have no jobs.
3. They've never done the laundry, made their beds or cleaned up their rooms in their lives.

Have I missed anything?

[D'Artagnan]

Jeff: They spend their (not there) weekly allowance at McDonalds.

[Greg]

They are on a rotating scheduling, spending time in line when it's convenient for them. There is always SOMEONE there, but they are not all there the whole time.

Please, people who spend inordinate amounts of time commenting on a blog have no place judging the geekiness of others.

[Guin]

Where do they go to the bathroom?

[silver]

Greg: Lighten up.

[U.O]

... the fours be with ewe ...

You mean to tell me that the mama sheep is gonna have quadruplets?!?!?!

[insomniac]

greg - how much time in an 'inordinate'?

[Monsoon]

"For the big iconic pictures of the 1970s, people lining up were here. They weren't at the Cinerama Dome (at the ArcLight)," Sprague said.

I must be getting Alzheimers. I could have sworn it was the Cinerama Dome I stood in line at for the the original Star Wars movie. Maybe it was Logan's Run...

[Candy Tutt]

Monsoon: Yes you ARE mistaken. I not only stood in line at Grauman's, but with two six-year olds, in the rain. Not only was it fun, but I got Mom-Brownie-Points still redeemable to this day...

[Candy Tutt]

Jeff: The Jack Benny bit you referred to began with a would-be robber telling him, "Your money or your life..."
I don't believe it had anything to do with going to the movies.

*adjusts seat belt in Geezer Bus*

[Greg]

Silver: Considering the foul things that have been said about friends of mine, I'd say I've been pretty damned "light".