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April 22, 2005

TAKING THE IPEX CHALLENGE

The Evolution by Margarita, for the "natural cosmetically enhanced look."

Key quote from the press release, sent in by Jo:

FT. LAUDERDALE, FL - April 22, 2005 - Women who lust after the look of cosmetic breast implants can strap on an eye-fooling alternative this summer with the new "Evolution by Margarita" bra, designed by Brastraps.com founder Margarita Reis.

Evolution is a revolutionary five-in-one underwire, convertible bra made of a smooth microfiber nylon/Lycra spandex mix. It features a sculpted, graduated cup specially designed to mimic the appearance of cosmetic breast implants by lifting and slightly separating each breast to appear fuller and firmer both in and out of clothing.

Comments

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first?

mmmmm, ramparts.

Judging from the photo, the bra works best if you insert breasts that have implants.

hommina- hommina

**swats monkey away***

MINE!!

LOL, sandy

EVERYTHING works best if you insert breasts that have implants.

Fake fake breasts?

Mmmmm, nylon/lycra/spandex mix. [drool].

ps: LOL DougBo

Big deal. The Cross-Your-Heart bra did that lifting and separating bit decades ago. And for $4.95 (God, I'm old).

MKJ, I had to get the headline on that page translated.

A Law Against The Via Cellular Pornography

Is she for or against the law?

...just wondering

In fact, that translator is so much fun I had the first paragraph of this story translated into German and then back to English:

Women, the greeds, after the appearance the implant ions of cosmetic breast on an eye deceptive alternative this summer with the new "development through Margarita can" strap Bh, that of Brastraps sketched becomes. com founder Margarita rice.

I noticed the appearance of the term "Bh." I know German well enough to know the word for bra is "Bustenhalter," or Bh for short, which literally means "bust holder." That word always makes me giggle.

Of course, once the bra is removed, the naked truth is revealed...

Folks, that is one amazing bra. Keep in mind, the model they used is an 86 year old man.

separate EACH breast ???

huh? that sounds painful.

o.e.--certainly it's painful. But oh so worth it when they appear fuller and firmer both in and out of clothing.

I mean, if they look like that even after you take the bra off--now that's impressive.

*starts to fill out online order form*

You are probably right about the male support brief, Sandy.

But there must be some kind of garment that gives the impression of a bigger volume, no? It can't be that the ladies get high-tech bras and the men get sock-stuffed crotches. :)

Yes, 1st, there are such garments. In fact, I found some by googling. But I couldn't bring myself to link to them here. Because I am a lady and ladies don't post links like that. That's what my mother taught me anyhow.

Hint: try searching for "jock strap"

"Made of imported nylon/Lycra® spandex mix"

That domestic crap just doesn't have the quality.

Hey! The cup size only goes up to D. What about us "G-cup" girls? Don't we get to wear push up bras?

you have missed the most important question ....

do you have to rim it with salt?

Good question, sj. Answer: only when Margarita is in her cups.

Do I understand this correctly? A bra that makes you look like you have fake boobs?

Bangi already thinks our culture is crazy. I'm gonna have to agree on this one.

sandy - on the "guy link" I notice that they have "custom sizing" available! NTTAWWT!
But good to know.

What's with making this bra in a size 38D? Isn't that like tax breaks for the rich? You would wind up with enough cleavage to hide your wallet in.

You say you wear an Evolution
Well, you know
It makes 'em look really fake !
You tell me that it's restitution
Well you know
Just 'let them be' for goodness sake!
But if you don't feel like going under the knife
Or looking like Donald Trump's trophy wife,

Don't you know it's going to be, all right...

You tell me there's a diminution
Well you know,
They look mighty fine to me!
You say you'll suffer persecution
Well, you know
Beauty's more than what we see.
But if you go buying into that rampart myth
You're might as well be Anna Nicole Smith!

Don't you know it's going to be, all right...

sj,

LOL!

Key quote: Made of imported nylon/Lycra® spandex mix ...

Now they've outsourced even specialty undergarments! Those Terrorist Bastards!


MKJ - the city council prolly wouldn't complain about her attire -- 'cuz she's not nursing a baby ...

Sondra - G-cup????? G-Whillikers!

Uh...

Wanta Fanta?

The linked text says it all.

"Built-in sculpted graduated cups are designed to create a natural cosmetically enhanced look."

You will look "genuinely phony"

And, Sandra, engineering studies conclude that a "G" sized version would strangle the user.

dear insomniac,

YAY! Bravo! It's been several minutes of helpless laughter here, followed my small hiccups of giggles.

Well done, thank you, and may you get just enough sleep to keep you sane, but never enough to make you crazy.

Sondra, you're in Central America, right? Because I was sure I saw part of you here in Miami this morning.

What's with making this bra in a size 38D?

The same thing that's with women 6'6" tall wearing high heels.

Finally! Some ramparts! And posted by judi, no less.

But let me get this straight. Women WANT their (not there) breasts to look fake????????

Judi has reported a "carefully developed" plot to cause men to become even more hopelessly befuddled when approached for any reason by a woman wearing Evolution.

This is what Darwin was -really- trying to warn us about.

Since when did fake vs real ever matter to us guys? All we see is ... ramparts. Paris Hilton could walk on television nude and make entirely stupid (ok, this is normal for her) comments that translated to "all your property are belong to us," and men would just drool on the TV and say "yes," "okay," "whatever," and "gaaaa ... ooooh .... uhmmmmm" while dragging their knuckles on the ground and standing on the remote control.

Yes, that -is- what we would say - if we could speak under such circumstances, which I submit we probably can't.

The truth is, breasts are genetically developed weapons intended to reduce calculating male intelligence down to the level of tomato paste. This natural equalizer gives women the opportunity to take over the nuclear stockpile, enforce peace on earth, and go shopping, while men are still hopelessly trying to figure out what hit them. By the time we do, Imelda Marcos has several new pair of shoes.


"Why is it men never look women in the eyes?"
"Breasts don't have eyes."

Did anyone else see that they have bra strap "headbands"?

Just sayin.

That's messed up.

FWIW - 'natural' 38D's have a little thing called "gravity" to worry about... so why NOT make push up bra's that size ?
Where is it written that women with a bra size over a 'c' cup are banished to the "ugly" bra section ????

And size is only a number... a 38D on a woman that is 6 ft tall and "big boned" is going to look vastly different than a 38D on a woman that is 5'6 and petite.

Re: Bra measurements
Fitting a Bra

Go get your soft tape measure out and if you can, get someone to help you. Do it in front of a mirror so you can make sure the tape measure is level. During all the measurements it’s important to make sure the measuring tape doesn’t droop in the back or isn’t held too tight.

Measure under your breasts (a). If the number you get is under 33” then add four or five inches to give yourself an EVEN number (i.e. if you measured 31, add 5 inches to make 36. This number gives you your band size (I know weird).

Next measure above your breast but still under your arms (b). You might have to include the flesh at the top of your breasts to keep the line horizontal.

Lastly, measure your full breast (c). Subtract the under arm bust total from the full breast total (c-b) and you will have your cup size. Wasn’t that fun?!

So your cup size will be:

If less than an inch difference you’re an AA (lucky you).
1” - A
2” - B
3” - C
4” - D
5” - E or DD
6” - F or DDD or EE
7” - G or FF or EEE

they make excellent bras at lane bryant...that are padded and push up. however they only go up to a 38DD, or a 38DDD...so I just wear a size too small for me, bc i dont feel like paying $80 for a bra. sigh. yes, real big boobs have mucho gravity. it sucks.

Sylvia,

I know the correct size can cost a fortune, but it could save your life. A small size can cause clogging of the lymph glands behind the breast, leading to cancer.

In support (har) of Extremely Expensive bras, they do last for years.

But Best of All, I found my size in a clearance sale, on the internet, recently, and paid $10 for a $80 bra!!! It pays to shop around.

People should accept the way they're built. It's probably not going to happen soon as businesses can sell more things if they make the public feel as insecure as possible and the trash fashion/lifestyle/health media (you know who you are), yes, the evil people who show borderline anorexic 'supermodels' as normal examples of womanhood, sell more magazines if they promise amazing diet results etc etc etc. It never stops. Plasic surgeons make a mint sticking things in and sucking things out and end up making people look like Michael J. All a terrible con job to foster insecurity and provide solutions for lots of cash.

Hm, my girlfriend's a G cup and a bra that lifts and seperates may cause some kind of explosion, or at least a balance problem.

I'm stuffing socks down my pants as I type...

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