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April 25, 2005

LOCUSTS

Did anybody watch Locusts last night? I tried, but, I'm sorry, it's hard to get into a mood of fear and dread of an impending menace when the menace is in the form of a critter you can easily squash into goo with a standard thesaurus, and the lead scientist fighting this menace is Xenia the Warrior Princess. I fell asleep and never did find out who won, though I was definitely rooting for the critters.

Anyway, the good news is that tonight we return to high-quality hardcore realism.

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1st?

I watched it with my own entertainment (kids). We laughed so many times throughout this 'drama.' My favorite line was when they were in the War Room and Maddie says, "How do we build the biggest damn bug zapper the world has ever seen?" Priceless.

I watched it with my own entertainment (kids). We laughed so many times throughout this 'drama.' My favorite line was when they were in the War Room and Maddie says, "How do we build the biggest damn bug zapper the world has ever seen?" Priceless.

It was on in the background while I was playing World of Warcraft (and getting my head handed to me repeatedly). Things I heard include the Saddam Plan: "If we drop VX gas on them, we'll kill all the bugs and only 10 percent of the population."
"Did you see what happened when they hit the bug Zapper? Quick! Get Home Depot on the line and tell them we need one billion Bug Zappers Stat!"
Unable to obtain enough zappers, they created their own using the power grid. The hard part was getting everyone in America to unplug their lava lamps so there would be enough electricity.

And then I found $5 so everything ended well.

About twenty minutes into the movie, I asked a friend what accent Lucy was trying for. She thought maybe English. Turns out her father in the movie is from Vernon, Indiana. I'm from Greensburg, home of the smelly money. Vernon is not that far away from my hometown. We don't sound like Lucy in the movie.

On a not so interesting side note, Vernon is south of North Vernon, which is in Southern Indiana. South Bend is in norther Indiana. And Indiana was so named because Indians lived there. Pretty creative state, I'd say. Hard to belive Kurt Vonnegut was born there.

Dave, tonight during 24, we want to read more updates about the commercials, no matter how enthralled you are with Mr. Bauer's quest. You already cover the episode quite admirably.

Thank you. That is all.

I only saw a portion of a War Room scene and when the swarm was bearing down on a herd of sheep.

With bug-zapper Xena at her post
The locusts soon ate house and host
With hunger voracious
And manners ungracious
(their burps could be heard coast to coast).

The script writers were obviously borrowed from 24. Two lines we heard over and over from Vivian, Dr. Reardon's assistant, and others were "You got it!" and "I'm on it!"

The only line missing was the equally riveting, "I'm all over it!" but maybe that was given to the locusts 'cuz they were, like, all over everything. It was funny how many times Dr. Reardon was involved with the swarm, but her clothing and skin betrayed narry a smear of bug juice. Likewise, the silo at her father's farm, once the sun came back out, was pristine and shiny. Apparently a really big generator has the power to polish building exteriors, too.

The script writers were obviously borrowed from 24. Two lines we heard over and over from Vivian, Dr. Reardon's assistant, and others were "You got it!" and "I'm on it!"

The only line missing was the equally riveting, "I'm all over it!" but maybe that was given to the locusts 'cuz they were, like, all over everything. It was funny how many times Dr. Reardon was involved with the swarm, but her clothing and skin betrayed narry a smear of bug juice. Likewise, the silo at her father's farm, once the sun came back out, was pristine and shiny. Apparently a really big generator has the power to polish building exteriors, too.

I'm really not trying to double post. Sorry.

Dang, I missed it. But I did catch some of Mansquito this weekend, along with the equally exciting Skeeter.

Whew! The Cyber-World is safe. I successfully completed the '24 Countdown' game. Unfortunately, my co-worker sitting in the cubicle next to me did not make it. His dedication to our country is greatly appreciated.

The following post takes place between 10:09 am and 10:10 am.

Was someone asking about 'Locusts'? Let me give you a summary:

The insects fiercesomeness is established right away when a cute young lab assistant who has come to feed them (and brings her horny boyfriend with her) scorns the protective suit and is swarmed when she takes them their daily tree. She responds in typical girl fashion by flaying at her hair and screaming "Get them off me! Get them off me!".

The personal emotional tension is established when Xena's husband has a tantrum because she goes to work too much and won't get pregnant. When she does not come home when she 'promised' (because she found out about the secret, very bad locusts and had to see to their destruction) he tells her he's moving out. His angst is demonstated when he sits on the porch drinking beer while it rains.

The mutant locusts are, of course, a Dept of Defence initiative, except they do it in secret in a USDA lab, using an apparently clueless scientist. One of the guys with the flame throwers sent in to destroy the bugs is a D of D mole and he sneaks a few into a jar. Of course, he drops the jar in a sink and a few go down the drain, thus releasing a breeding pair on one coast. The remaining bugs are flown to the other coast. The driver of the jeep transporting them takes a bee or something to the eye, causing the guy in the back to drop the locust box and the military vehicle behind drives over it. Remaining locusts now free.

In a flanking move both swarms begin to converge on Middle America. After eating a herd of cattle, they develop a taste for meat. Dept of Defence officials immediately begin plans to drop the world's most deadly gas on populated areas.

After turning her dad's metal barn into a giant bug zappper and killing a swarm, (but not before the locusts eat their creator) Xena (who is, of course, pregnant) tells the locust think tank to electrocute the little buggers instead of gassing them and incidentally taking out most of the population of the American Heartland. The military guy really really wants to use the gas and pooh poohs the plan but they try it anyway, diverting all the power in the USA to some power lines along a highway. The locusts are lured to their destruction with weather balloons.

I assume it worked, but I don't know because just as the swarms hit the trap the station I was watching the movie on fuzzed up and died and after the commercials the credits were rolling. This may have been some kind of 'trick' ending. If so, it was pretty lame.

Perhaps CBS' targeted demographic was "crops"; Watching the drama, I, as a human being, was not terribly alarmed, but if I were a sprig of winter wheat, I'd be out of my mind!

Peri: Good work. Now get some rest.

Perhaps CBS' targeted demographic was "crops"; Watching the drama, I, as a human being, was not terribly alarmed, but if I were a sprig of winter wheat, I'd be out of my mind!

Oh, and just in case the message of the movie was too subtle for viewers, Xena speaks the key moral in the first 20 mins "If you screw with Nature, Nature will screw with you."

Double-post w/ two in between, howd I doo dat?

I cannot believe that I missed this important movie! The newborn in my house is a little demanding and I went to sleep kind of early, but I am sure that if I had realized "Locusts" was on, I would have ignored the movie anyway!

I am really glad that cable channels have made it possible to watch the same three of four documentaries about Egyptology for approximately 20 hours straight everyday! I love Egyptology, but I do wish that "they" would make some new programs. Also, I want to see more "mystery monsters (Bigfoot and Nessie) and urban legends and ghost stories" and WAY fewer "reality and idol-style" shows.

Peri - you got it! \(^.^)/

And on the History Channel, at the same time!, we had Meteorites Attack Earth!, which began with a very large meteorite landing in the middle of downtown Boston and annihilating everything in sight. This took approximately 5 minutes and then the narrator said, "Just kidding!, Boston is still there!" The program then went back into normal History Channel mode until, at one point, there was a meteorite afficianado who was obviously hopped up on some zippy drug and spent a lot of time talkingveryfast while erotically caressing his collection of meteorites, which I now have learned are predominantly composed of iron ore.

At this point I switched to Locusts!

All in all, good TV for a Sunday night!

I am a creative writing teacher at Full Sail University. I am teaching my students how to blog. Please write back.

As far as the Locusts are concerned, I did enjoy the part where the expressionless dudes were packing the nerve gas and one says to the other, something like: "Careful. If we make a mistake, we're dead."

You think?

Liz Randall

I had to stop watching Locusts! when the dude spilled a couple in the sink and then ran cold water for a couple seconds over them and took off. Yeah, DDT won't kill em but a little TAP WATER'll do the trick, Einstein.

What I really want to know is, WHAT HAPPENED TO THE SIMPSONS!??? Fox aired some newfangled American top 40 music crap instead, with many denimed butt shots in the intro. What gives? Ryan Seacrest can kiss my round white A$$.

Targetgirl, when he turned on the tap water, I screamed at him, "Turn on the garbage disposal, you idiot!", but apparently he didn't hear me - damn!

Was it tap water from Jersey?

Dave,

If you weren't in the habit of using your standard thesaurus to kill insects, perhaps you'd have said:

"...creature one is capable of effortlessly compacting with into muck or sludge with a common synonym finding tome"

So, congrats for making proper use of your books.

Single post. This is a test. No double post.

YAY!!!

I only saw the electrified silo deal, and then thought it was over. Can anyone explain why the guy that got the gas for the generator died? Were they poisonous Locusts? Did they get into his brain? What happened!

I watched the beginning of the Program and when Xena was walking around in her IPEX, I decided to stay for more. Sadly, those were the last Rampart shots.
Turned the TV(the flat screen, not the cross dresser ) off in order to save my energy for tonights groaner, 24HRS.

The locusts were engineered to survive anything, including a lack of food according to Dr. Reardon. They were engineered to reproduce every 8 days and each time, they improved on the last variation.

Then a herd of sheep were devoured. "Locusts have been known to turn cannabalistic when there's a lack of food source." (but I thought they could survive without food for a long time, Maddy!) "Apparently, they've decided to become carnivorous now." Ms. Senator replied, "So now WE'RE on the menu! My constituents aren't going to like this."

So that's why Dr. Axlemaroon was attacked by the locusts.

I only wish Lon Chaney Jr. and the guy who played The Creature From The Black lagoon was in it? I would settle for Brooke Shields.

That's fine that the doctor guy was attacked... but why did he die. It seemed to be just a few bites to the face... I've seen worse bug bites than that on Survivor.

Darth, Darth, Darth - it was anaphylactic shock. And a good dose of Hollywood.

Darth, Darth, Darth - it was anaphylactic shock. And a good dose of Hollywood.

Hardcore reality is illegal in 32 states.

It strikes me that when Lucy Lawless went into acting, that was a black day for beach volleyball.

I did not see the movie, but I did here a lot about it as I am the Mayor of the Town of Vernon in rural southeastern Indiana. I am just curious if the writers have a connection or if they just threw a dart at the map and it landed on Vernon. I have had several people ask if they need permission but this is the first I have heard about it.

I did not see the movie, but I did here a lot about it as I am the Mayor of the Town of Vernon in rural southeastern Indiana. I am just curious if the writers have a connection or if they just threw a dart at the map and it landed on Vernon. I have had several people ask if they need permission but this is the first I have heard about it.

I tried to watch it, but the movie bugged me too much.

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