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April 14, 2005

GOODBYE, TUSCARAWAS COUNTY, OHIO

I had a fine visit here, during which I learned that Tuscarawas County contains the city of Dover, which was the location of a house fire caused when a Kellogg's strawberry Pop-Tart was cooked in a defective toaster that failed to pop up, thereby turning the Pop-Tart into a snack pastry flamethrower from hell. I wrote a column about that incident. Maybe judi can link to it, if she is not too busy doing whatever it is she does.

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Foist!!

*Digs out DB is Not Making This Up*

No need to link to anything judi.. I've got it right here.. anyone who wants it can read it!

WOW! His Daveness up and blogging so early. Must be 5:39 in Tuscarawas County. Nice to know that Big(and I mean BIG) celebrities have to rise early to catch an early flight home. Unless, of course, his Daveness, reliving his college days back in the 60's, and is just getting in.

Toga Party!!!!!!!

Judi,

Seek revenge for this unsolicited bash now!

You probably have just enough time to wrap everything in Dave's office with aluminum foil. (Or alternately coat everything with vaseline.)

UH, Dave. The Angel know as judi is probably sleeping. NTTAWWT. She was up all night keeping the blog running smoothly and working out issues with her Aggragator. Must be one of those reptiles that populate South Florida. On top of all that, she probably has to get the red carpet cleaned and ready for you triumph return from Tuscarwash. Why you are doing you stand-up-act in a car wash is a mystery to me, but how you earn your money to support your lavish lifestyle is none of my business.
So cut the Angel some slack. She needs the rest from her workload as well as the PTSD from her earlier Tuscarawas HoneyMoon adventure.

It was probably the frosting on the pop tart. Back when they were laced with flamable icing. My husband used to eat those back in NAM. J/K

♪ TWEEET! ♪ Foul on DrPill.
you triumph return
Why you are doing you stand-up-act
Penalty--No coffee for two hours.


♪ TWEEET! ♪ Resume blogging.

thanks, you sweet little suckups you ;)

but i am up, and i've got the text... just no link. so i sent it along to him.

I once saw a Pop-Tart fire. My step-brother left the toaster unattended (and on) and it stuck when it was supposed to pop up; the Pop-Tarts went up in flames, causing damage to the cabinet above the toaster.

Speaking (er, writing) of Pop-Tarts, anybody know where I can get grape Pop-Tarts? They're basically impossible to find in New England and it seems that the one supermarket chain that carries them just stopped.

Simulpost with the Good Angel herself!
I doubt that I will ever wash my eyes again.
*Must save page. Maybe even agragrater it. Takes monitor over to copy machine and attempts to make copy of screen.*

sorry, drew, had to delete it. the last thing we want is to start linking to websites that post dave's stuff without permission. well, maybe not the LAST thing. i'd probably rather not have naked pictures of any of us linked here either. but you know, it's up there on the list.

Durn,
Pulitzer worthy comments regarding simulpost with Saint Judi lost in blog black hole.

Oops, my bad.

Ok, I won't post the link to the pictures that I found either.

Apparently Steven Hawkins was right when he said he was wrong. Information can return from a black hole.

Dave Wrote: Maybe judi can link to it, if she is not too busy doing whatever it is she does.


This is Not a slander on Judi, rather, it's a comment on how well informed Dave Isn't.

I'm Sure that's the way he meant it. He can't afford to loose his right arm.

judi, the same thing happened to me with Cherry Pop Tarts. One day they were nowhere to be found in any supermarket in the entire County of San Diego. Then - after about 2 years, they just reappeared!!!! I bought two (2) boxes with 12 to a box, and now I may never eat Cherry Frosted Pop Tarts again!

So, in summary, keep the faith!

Lee,
Is it my imagination, or is there a little smudge of grape jelly after your name?

For true diabetic comas, you have to eat the chocolatey fudgy chocolate frosted pop-tarts with bonus chocolate inside. and fudgy sprinkles.

Mike?

Can I just say you are undoubtably one of the funniest people I know?

Personally, I prefer (and the TV ads had nothing to do with this decision) the Toaster Strudel (TM) to the cardboard-y other product previously described ... unless I want to start a fire, of course ...

At a recent television shoot, among the other very healthy foods on the craft services table (that's showbiz talk for "snack table") there was a box of (get ready for it) S'mores Pop-Tarts. Yes, chocolate, chocolatey frosting and... MARSMALLOW! I ate two of them, but was afraid to get them anywhere near a toaster. I'm still on a sugar high.

I read THE FLAMING POPTARTS some years ago but forgot how funny that column was !! Thanks to Dave and Judi for reprinting it (however briefly).

My little sister Kristy went and saw Dave in New Philly. It seems to have made a big impression on her, judging from her email to me:

Dave Barry came & spoke at the Kent State University New Philadelphia campus Wednesday night. I went & got to see the man in actual person and everything! It was hilarious, as usual. After all, this IS Dave we're talking about. He spoke on life as he saw it, which means he mainly talked about stuff he had written in his previous books, but no matter. I still laughed my ass off.

Afterward, there was a reception & a chance to meet Dave, so...

So I got in line with everybody else, with book & camera in hand, and...

And I MET my hero, Dave Barry! In person! And everything!!!!

I shook the man's hand and actually spoke to him, and, this is the greatest part...he spoke back to me! To little ol' ME! I had a ton of things I wanted to say to him, like "You're hilarious," or "I've read everything you've ever written & could quote you word for word," or "Thank you for even coming here tonight." But naturally in nerve-wracking situations, my brain takes a holiday, and all I could get out was "Hi" and "It's an honor." At least I could spell my name correctly when he signed my book. I even got a picture of myself with him, which I plan to blow up to billboard size and mount onto the house. Then I shook his hand again before I left. I'll never wash my hand again. I'll have to shake hands with my left hand from now on. I'm thinking of having my right hand bronzed.

This is by far the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I include birth in that statement. I can die now, my goal in life has been achieved.

And that is how my week has gone so far. How are all of you?

Love, Kristy

P.S. TWICE! I shook his hand twice!

Sean -

It certainly sounds as if Kristy thought the outing was worth the time spent ...

(I can identify with her reactions ... mine were similar, including the "brain takes a holiday" phenomena ...)

Wow, I've never been so proud to be an Ohioan as I am now.


vch

Wow, I've never been so proud to be an Ohioan as I am now.


vch

OOPS

You know, I'm beginning to think there's a Pop Tart Conspiracy out there. You can't get grape Pop Tarts here in Las Cruces, New Mexico, and I didn't even know they made cherry Pop Tarts until I read about them on this blog. Can it be that we're all part of some odd expirement? Why would some flavors be available some places but not others? Surely they can't say we border area folks don't love grapes and cherries? Maybe they're deliberately trying to create a grape Pop Tart deficiency in us? I asked about them in one store and was told they no longer make grape Pop Tarts due to carciogenic dyes used to make the filling look purple but now I see it's all lies!!! Damn their eyes!!!! MUST HAVE GRAPE POP TARTS!!!!!!

I just learned, directly from the Source, that Kellogg's no longer makes Frosted Grape Poptarts.
I can't believe it.
They've been really hard to find for the past 10 years or so with fewer and fewer grocery stores in fewer and fewer cities carrying them. Just as I found that I could finally get a reliable source through Amazon.com, the faucet has shut off for good. I e-mailed Kellogg's who said it was an unpopular item.
I don't believe that. I've never met a soul who doesn't love them, including my own kids.
Let's start a campaign to e-mail Kellogg's and get them to add them back to the playlist.

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