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April 19, 2005


There may still be time to roast marshmallows and sing Kumbaya.

(Thanks to Justin Barber)


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The report should have read "Except for a roll of toilet paper the size of a car, no one was injured."

I am ashamed to admit that I have, to this point in my life, never even considered the fire hazard that my toilet paper absorbancy could represent.

Giant toilet roll starts fire ==>
Rototill tireless giant fart

Fire investigators are still wiping up the mess.

British firefighters are sorry
Burnt TP's the size of a lorry
"Our water supply's wilted
We forgot that it's quilted
We'll be back at this time tomorry"

Um, isn't that story missing something? Like, why the hell did they have "dozens of giant rolls of toilet paper"?!

Is this part of an attempt to clog that new toilet?

Do they have a toilet to fit that size roll of toilet paper?

***Laughs maniacally***
THIS will clog the Champion!!!!!!

Good one, insom -

and the article leads me to wonder how big an a$$ one would have to use that size toilet paper!

Um, isn't that story missing something? Like, why the hell did they have "dozens of giant rolls of toilet paper"?!

Um, qetzal, check the name of the company.

Giant Toilet Roll wbagnfarb

"It was then a case of breaking up the rolls, which were the size of a car, and damping them down.

"This was difficult at first because the rolls were absorbing the water."

Huh? It was difficult to get them damp because they were absorbing water?

Even when I turn my brain inside-out, I can't figure that one out.


I get that it's a hygiene company. But why giant rolls?

Ok, I'm seeing a pattern.

Advances in toilet designs

"Artist" that vandilizes cars

Cars and Flying Frozen Sausages

Car shot four times

Burning toilet paper the size of a car AND four fire fighting crews.

.... don't know what it means.

In a related story, The Green Giant has developed a rash from being forced to wipe with Sumac bushes........

A top team of proctologists are enroute with a tanker truck of "Preparation I".......they're using the 'I' formulation, as one of the team members was quoted as saying, "because the one pile is the size of a Yugo".

Details at 11.

The Ontogeny is a brief and rapid recapitulation of the Phylogeny ...

U.O. Are we talking about some kind of mutant? What does that have to do with gigantic flaming toilet paper? (WBGFARB)

TP the size of trucks, t*rds the size of Yugos ... what else could it be but some sort of gigantic mutation combination ...

This took place at "SCA Hygiene" according to the story.

Well of COURSE it did!

This just in...Firefighters are still wiping up after the blaze. Now back to your regularly scheduled programming.

Hygiene company...storage yard...please tell me those gigando rolls weren't waiting to be compressed into tampons...

"twice as high as Angel of the North" - - What's up with that? Must be from smoke inhalation!

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