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April 21, 2005


Ask Father Hardon: What is the difference between the old Vulgate of St. Jerome and the new Vulgate?

(Thanks to Don Wood)


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huh? First anyway.

Hardon? Wood?


*head explodes*

Too many bad jokes to choose from.

I actually thought that this was satire until I paid closer attention tho the websit itself. OMG! (so to speak.)


[wonders what kind of searching goddess Judi might be doing at midnight which results in this particular find]

"Don Wood" gave the link. Sure Judi *wink wink*

*reads article*

u cant be serious!
*loses hope in the US*

When he becomes Pope, his papal name (not to be confused with PayPal account) will be "Pope Stiffy I".

If the revised vulgate of St. Jerome becomes a controversial issue, is that Vulgategate?

A friend was telling of a wedding he attended recently. Just before pronouncing the couple man and wife...the minister gave an unusual charge to the bride.

He told her to keep herself slim and trim for her husband, that he deserved a wife who kept her shape for him.

My friend said he did not hear the charge given to the groom as all of the oxygen had been sucked out of the room by all of the shocked and outraged people in the congregation.

I bet all the bullets flying didn't help, either.

father hardon, oh jeez. and he's an antedeluvian moron. every time that scripture is read in my parish, there's an audible hiss from the congregation. it doesnt need any interpretation. its just out of date for our times. this guy has a hardon against feminists. he'll get along great with this new pope, pappa ratzi.

I tried all of that submission stuff when I was married. Never seemed to work. Durn Feminism

Well, duh!

"We're treating this just like we treat any type of roadside memorial," said IDOT spokesman Mike Claffey. "We have no plans to clean this site."

Yup, I definitely read that as IDIOT spokesman. Also, is it just me or is the entire highway system apparently deemed to be a roadside memorial? Sounds like they got a pretty good deal going.

Well actually... (and I am a 20-year-old female who grew up in a wonderful home and was/is loved very much by her parents and siblings) I am submissive to my husband. And don't start picturing some beat-up, birka-wearing wench because that I definitely am not. To say that part of scripture is "out of date" makes no sense. Why hasn't murder or theft or lust become out of date? We have pornography and strip clubs of all kinds in this country. Now, young boys hiding Playboys under their mattresses is no longer considered wrong. It's just "cute." Well, wrong is wrong and it doesn't matter if you don't like it. You can't pick and choose the parts of scripture or God that you like.

(oh, and the above minister was an idiot!)

"To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it." - G.K. Chesterton

there are three topics that, due to their controversial nature, should NEVER be posted on this blog:

1. politics
2. religion
3. anything cher

1. Men are way too lazy to be the final word in the family. They always say, "Go ask your Mom"
2. I am glad to finally know that I am a Marxist.

Okay - totally off topic but I am trying to understand my teeenage kid. She posted as her MSN name, "Road Trip with my Roachy". I understand the road trip part, but can anyone out there enlighten me as to what a roachy is?

PS: I know what a roach is, both the insect version and the drug version but roachy?

Hardon seems a rather accurate name for a catholic priest though.

I would think that if you crossed an insomniac you'd get a black eye.

Thank you Sean, that was refreshing.

Long Tall Texan: Right on.

Uncle Omar: Too Funny!

If there is to only be one head of
the household, and the woman is expected to be
the one at home, taking care of the home,
children, etc... while the man is
busy being the financial provider, does it not
then make sense that the one managing the home
be the one with the final or at least
equal say?



not as funny but just as true dept.: There was a German Jesuit priest named Father Maximilian Hell, whose hobby was astronomy, he even has a crater on the moon named after him.

So not only can you tell someone to go to Hell, but you can give them the coordinates!

somewhere north,

it sounds like Mixed-Receptive-Expressive Language Disorder, where children are impaired in both the understanding and expressing of language.

well, either THAT, or it is some kind of adolescent-slangy-thing that we adults will never fully understand.

no charge.

Wow! This submission stuff sounds great. I am getting married in two weeks so there is still time to slip some of this into the vows.

But first let me remove all sharp objects from the house.

Cyper Psych:

Thank you. That makes it just as clear as before. I'm trying to figure out if it is a bisexual reference or not. (I found some interesting letters when searching my kid's room) Which brings up an interesting question - in a lesbian relationship who is submissive?

I dunno - should I ask Hardon about that one?

I wanted to purchase real estate in one of the new Landover Baptist developments, but the prices are more insane than DC and NYC. So I just bought a "Stone Disobediant Children" bumper sticker and a "Sodomite" tee-shirt.

I wanted to purchase real estate in one of the new Landover Baptist developments, but the prices are more insane than DC and NYC. So I just bought a "Stone Disobediant Children" bumper sticker and a "Sodomite" tee-shirt.

Scat, re: your link to the local attraction of the Virgin Mary...

I looked at the picture and the only thing I could make out was the image of that creepy wet kid-demon thing that climbs out of the well in The Ring. Am I going to hell?

sadtobecatholic - of course the woman has equal say in all decisions. Submissive does not mean doormat, and the same scriptures that say a woman should be submissive also state that a man should love his wife even as Christ loved the Church, and Christ laid down his life for the Church. Also remember that the scriptures say (in Genesis, I think) that God made woman from the rib of man to be his peer, right beside him. I could go on and on about this, but I'm afraid to take up too much space. I probably already have.

I wanted to purchase real estate in one of the new Landover Baptist developments, but the prices are more insane than DC and NYC. So I just bought a "Stone Disobediant Children" bumper sticker and a "Sodomite" tee-shirt.

I wanted to purchase real estate in one of the new Landover Baptist developments, but the prices are more insane than DC and NYC. So I just bought a "Stone Disobediant Children" bumper sticker and a "Sodomite" tee-shirt.

ok, on the subject of submissive wives:

The word "submissive" does not mean what feminists claim it means. It is rather the loving acceptance of someone in authority for the good of the family.

so, in every christian family, the one with the penis is THE BEST choice for the person in authority "for the good of the family," right? it couldn't possibly ever be that, oh, say, the parent/spouse with the vagina might just be the one who makes better decisions, right? no? ok. just checking.

judi -

the problem is, the pope, et. al. just aren't that familiar with vaginas. They're vagina-impaired. I'm sure if there was some way for them to get to know vaginas better, they might be open to change.

Then again, I suppose most Baptist ministers are somewhat familiar with vaginas and yet they tend to discriminate in favor of the penis, too.

Oh well, there goes that theory.

judi - In the ideal Christian family, where husband and wife are equal peers, the two sit down together and discuss every major issue and make the decisions together. It doesn't matter who ends up doing what, as long as both spouses agree on what is to be done and who is going to do it. But it is the husband's duty to lead the family. Only a lazy man would leave all the decision making and work to his wife, and only a complete jerk of a guy would use "submission" as an excuse to abuse his wife. I can give you some personal examples, if you like. But again I'm afraid of taking up too much space.

I'm still stuck on the lesbian submission thing. Who's in charge there??? Or what if you live in a family with 2 penises? Now who is submissi....never mind

aunt nancy: yet it's always the husband who is, according to the church, the decision-maker, even if he's a loon or a drug addict, or terrible at making decisions, simply by virtue of his penis. whether he's abusive, stupid, or wrong most of the time, the church still designates him the person with the final say. this seems, at the very least, an odd way to run a world. why isn't it decreed that oh, the person with the darkest hair is the one to whom decision-making defaults? hair color has as much to do with good decision-making as the possession of a penis. what about the fattest person? or the one with lighter-colored skin? none of these arbitrary determinants would make sense to me.


I agree with every word your wrote!! You go!!

judi - I'm guessing, but I think we're getting into doctrinal differences. I think you're approaching this from a Catholic perspective, while I'm approaching this from a Protestant perspective. (Please understand that the last thing I want is to start a fight over doctrinal differences!) But I've never been told that the church DEMANDS all men to be the decision maker - what I've learned is that every person in any relationship (husband/wife, parent/child, employer/employee, etc) has responsibilities as explained in scripture. Unfortunately, humans have interpreted the scripture for other humans and over time have often twisted scripture for their own gain. That's why I think the best way to understand what God meant in the Bible is to study the Bible and pray for understanding. That's all I know, and I'm afraid I've taken up too much space, again.

You know... re this submission thing - I think the serious writers on this blog need to get a load of the mama on the hunger strike. I would love to watch when her husband tried the submission line on her!

I like the (sub)missionary position. yep.

I was just reading in the gospels about this time when Jesus made some wine out of water. From that I presume He was in favor of alcoholic beverages. Couple that with the idea of having a submissive wife and my conclusion is:

My wife needs to go get me a beer so I can continue being a Bible-believing Christian.

Let's Hear It For The Jews!!!

Everyone believes the they are the person who should be in charge, so everyone yells a lot, and a good time is had by all!

(Except for Orthodox Jews who make women sit separately from the men in synagogue)

Please delete the word "the" after the word "believe".

Thank you.

Carry on.

Melissa... The Scooby Doo article is a joke. But a very well done one, along with the rest of that site.

judy... matrerialism is the best answer for the who makes decisions problem. simply buy a big house and two nice cars and there are no decisions to make ever. no money left to decide about.

"Wives MUST be submissive".

As in "on your knees, NOW!"

ummmm ok.

.. it's not vulgate enough !

Boo Augustus: "...get to know vaginas better, they might be open..."

*heh! heh! wish I'd said that!*

This whole anti-feminist theme on the part of the church and the Bible translators is reminiscent of the major theme in Dan Brown's The Da Vinci Code.

"Father Hardon was directly responsible for thousands of conversions, including the high-profile conversion of the late Lee Atwater, former chairman of the Republican National Committee".

Ah yes . . Lee Atwater . . . that most noble Christian . . .

Somewhere North - I'm trying to take your advice and lighten up, so...

John Holmes and Jimmy reminded me of a song The Outlaws did years ago:

Put another log on the fire.
Cook me up some bacon and some beans.
And go out to the car and change the tyre.
Wash my socks and sew my old blue jeans.
Come on, baby, you can fill my pipe,
And then go fetch my slippers.
And boil me up another pot of tea.
Then put another log on the fire, babe,
And come and tell me why you're leaving me.

P.S. I know "tyre" is a misspelling, but that's the way I found it on CowboyLyrics.com. Sorry!

How else can you spell "tyre"?

A.N. - that was Tompall Glaser (and the brothers) who did "... log on the fire ..." and yes, it was on the Outlaws album ... great music ...

Did anyone else notice Elbia Tello's age in the "Picture of Mary on the Bridge/Overpass" article? (Answer below, you don't hafta go back to look ...)

From the Vagina button story: " ... for free speech, ... when it infringes on others' rights ... take a look at it ..."

So, how does a person wearing a button with anything at all on it infringe upon my rights? Sounds like a typical self-centered "education administrator" who is enrapt of his/her own importance ... and don't let the kids have any ideas, unless they come from teachers!!!

Scooby Doo? WTFFF??? I din't think it was a joke, tho p'haps I din't read it carefully enuf ... it sounded pretty typical of most of the over-the-top bible thumpers I've met thru the years ... scary, is what it is ...

There's somewhere in scripture (the Christian Bible, or even perhaps the Torah, or the Koran?) that says "Husbands, love your wives."

Love ... is ... (HUGE step here, attempting to answer the age-old question) ...

doing what is best for the one you love ... (even at the expense of what you want to do your ownself ...) to me, this would seem to answer (partly, at least) the question of whom is the boss/head of household/decision maker ...

... a possible corrolary (sp?) to this is: When faced with moral choices, the right choice is the one you least want to do ... [That's a paraphrase of John D. MacDonald, via Meyer ...]

I'm just dizzy at this point.......


then I fergot to put in the age of Elbia Tello.



I think not.


You know, like "The Onion."

. . . Sorry. I should go back to reading the "Yo Mamma" jokes. . .

V-Square --

Tnx muchly -- I did not know (not knot no) that.

[I do not (not knot) get out much. Besides, I'm old. It was a long day. I checked my sense of humor as I boarded the geezer bus. Yesterday was Friday. ,.. ]

How many excuses do you want? I was a teacher. I've heard them all.

O-tay, Duckwheat, so it's a satire/parody site, huh? Well, learn something every day ... I'll hafta look it over again ...

Have your friends and family over your house. Place all religius books in the fireplace and lightthemup. Prefebly in winter or in summer can be done in a firepit. I will worm you up and people will hopefully talk about more important things. Such as why this people are been kill in other parts of the world. Why people run over animals in the rode and don't care. Why cruelty is inflicted to other life forms on this earth, just because they are not humans.

They will make a greatfire and you don't have to waste your time


My mind was so blown by the Father Hardon page, whitch, at first look, I was sure was satire, only to discover that it was on the honest to God (so to speak) Catholic church's site, that by the time I got to the Scooby-Doo page, I completely missed the clues that gave away the site's true intent. I'm usually pretty good at spotting those. And considering the attachs by the fringe on the likes of Harry Potter and Spongebob, anything is possible.


Truly progressive people do not advocate the burning of books of any kind. Ever.

Okay, this has been an interesting and thought provoking thread, but can we get back to boogers and ramparts now?

V-Square, et al.

Me too, what AlanBoss said, about the satire and non-satire nature of stuff ...

And especially about the ramparts ... (Hi, Alan)

Thank you, Aunt Nancy. =)

Thank you, Aunt Nancy. =)


I'm unsure if people are still reading this old thread, but I just came upon it.

I am married to an abuser (and am divorcing), and at my church (not Catholic) they (a counselor) told me that I didn't need to submit under those circumstances.. and used the following example:
E.g., if a rabid dog were about to attack you, would you still stop at the stoplight, or run like heck?



PS: sorry that was not funny, and I know this was supposed to be about the old Vulgate of St. Jerome and the new Vulgate; whoooaaaa, getting less funny

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