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March 25, 2005

WHY WE MUST NEVER ALLOW THE GOVERNMENT TO TAKE AWAY OUR BANANAS

(Thanks to Susannah Nation)

Comments

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Senger said the suspect, whom police said was intoxicated, was stunned from getting hit by the flying fruit.

It was a drive-by fruiting.

Is that a banana in your pocket or...OWWW!

Damn story locked up my browser. Read it and enter Pop-Up Hell!!

Durn blog. Posted witty, insightful(Pulitzer quality)comment earlier and it has yet to show up.
Unfortunately, advanced Geezerism, has deleted said comment from Main Frame.

Sgt.: What's wrong with fruit? You think you know it all, eh? We haven't done bananas, have we? Right. Bananas. How to defend yourself against a man armed with a banana. Now you, come at me with this banana. Catch! Now, it's quite simple to defend yourself against a man armed with a banana. First of all you force him to drop the banana; then, second, you eat the banana, thus disarming him. You have now rendered him 'elpless.
Palin: Suppose he's got a bunch.
Sgt.: Shut up.
Idle: Suppose he's got a pointed stick.
Sgt.: Shut up.

Let's hear it for the bananas!!!!

Hooray!

*takes out bowl, cereal and knife to slice bananas*

Man, is she lucky the bananas were on display up front, rather than something else less intimidating...strawberries or something. Viva la banana.

GDogg - check your computer for spyware, no popups here.

Life imitates Monty Python:

"How to defend yourself against a woman armed with a banana...First of all you force her to drop the banana; then, second, you eat the banana, thus disarming her. You have now rendered her 'elpless"

"Suppose she's got a bunch?"

"Shut up."

OK, so MOTW beat me to it. By 25 minutes. Guess I should actually, like, read the comments next time.

Sorry all....

How does growing up playing baseball prepare one to throw unripened bananas at criminals? Last I checked, bananas, regardless of their state of ripeness, do not resemble a ball.

I don't think our hero citizen is telling us where she picked up her banana handling skills.

It was in the Army. You pick up lots of practical real-life skills in the Army.

Ah, it reminds me of the heady days when people were unafraid to hurl the fruit cocktail can of hope at the armed robber of unhappiness...

Ya can't make this stuff up, can you?

Gdogg: try the Google tool bar if you have trouble with pop-ups in Internet Explorer. The Firefox browser blocks pop-ups too if you want to try a different browser.

*zips in*

Not to brag or anything - OK, I'm bragging - but I have a brand-new computer, brand-new high speed and I also have a pop-up blocker!

*zips out to avoid being hit by flying banana*

Eleanor, keep that up and you're liable to have incoming thru your Windows ...

*wishes she had a banana to go with her cereal this morning*

The man was 300 lbs... She could have distracted him better with Twinkies and Ho Ho's.

*off to find peanut butter and bananas*

monty python IS life. there is no imitation!! blimey!

Palin: Suppose I'm attacked by a man with a banana and I haven't got a gun?
Sgt.: Run for it.
Jones: You could stand and scream for help.
Sgt.: Yeah, you try that with a pineapple down your windpipe.

* hurls a banana AND a pineapple in the general direction of Eleanor's Windows *

*imagines Cleese and Palin doing Banana Slapping Dance instead of Fish Slapping Dance*

*sends Windex to Eleanor to clean the fruit off her windows*

Thanks sly, but fortunately (no rain today) the window was open!

*saves Windex because windows ar verrrry dirty*

*takes banana and pineapple and goes to make fruit salad*

mmmm, lunch!

Dave, please stop putting links in the subject line to your posts. It screws up my RSS aggregator big time.

*snork*

I'm thinking that the 2nd Amendment needs an amendment. Something about the right to keep and bear fruit!

I, personally, would have choosen something from the canned food display to throw at the guy. Maybe not, though. My banana handling skills are pretty good.

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