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March 28, 2005

UPBEAT NEWS HEADLINE OF THE DAY SO FAR

(Thanks to Don Adams)

Comments

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First!

Was this called in on a shoe-phone?

A few women died after tussling with snatch thieves. They included Chin Wai Fung, who died in Brickfields in May when she fought back.

Then Chong Fee Cheng fell, went into a coma and died resisting a snatch thief in Johor Baru in mid-June.

I mean.. this is so sad, but its just so damn funny when you read it with a juvenile mind, which I happen to have.

"Snatch a kiss, or vice versa"

Does this mean more women are being bought dinner before one night stands?

Ladies going to or in Malaysia:

DO NOT utilize handbags that could described in a police report as:
*furry
*pink
*lumpy
*(fill in blank)

I certainly have no need to steal one. My wife lets me borrow hers 3 or 4 times a year, whether I need it or not.

A few women died after tussling with snatch thieves.

I guess so, if the snatch thieves were successful!

*crosses Malaysia off her "places to visit' list*

Once the "snatch" thefts die down due to increased police presence, I predict an rise in penis thefts.

A RISE in penis thefts?

.:snicker:.

This comment has been brought to you by the Acting Immature on Monday (AIM) Committee.

*Re Don Adams' references*

"Missed it by that much"

I see the geezer bus is near capacity today.

*Re Don Adams' references*

"Missed it by that much"

I see the geezer bus is near capacity today.

That is why my mother warned me about tussling.

I don't think she meant that exact application, but still....

Many women altered their daily routines to guard themselves against snatch thieves, some walking against the flow of traffic and others eschewing handbags in favour of less obvious wallets.

Maybe they should try wearing titanium-steel thongs.

And who can forget Woody Allen's great lines as the fool in "Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Sex etc etc etc". He was trying to open Lynn Redgrave's chastity belt, see, and being a fool was prone to speaking in rhyme, ergo:

"A plan I must hatch,
To open the latch,
And get at her - "

...railings in snatch-theft areas...

Seems the Geezer Bus has installed new safety devices for the Hip Displaced Generation.

so many of you are such cunning linguists.

Queensbee, you slayed me. Need to go change my undies now...

I'm keeping my legs crossed, just to be on the safe side...

"Police! Police!"
*two out of breath policemen stumble up*
"Huh... ... huh... wheeze... pant, Yesh M-ah-am..."
"That man, he stole my snatch!"
"Stole... huh... your... SNATCH!"
"Yes, he stole my snatch... I feel faint."
*swoons*
"Whew... huh... What were you doing... huh... with your snatch when it was stolen?"
"Just playing with it"
"Playing with it?"
"Yes"
"In public"
"Sure"
"How?"
"Up and down, like normal"
"Normal?"
"Yeah, like with the string"
"You had a string in it?"
"Well you can't very well play with it without one!"
"Maybe YOU can't"
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"I play with my wife's all the time and there's never a string. If there is I won't play with it"
"Well, it had a string"
"And you were playing with it in public"
"Is there anythign wrong with that?"
"Never mind 'mam, how was it taken?"
"This man just walked up and grabbed it by the string and took it... Oh boo hoo hoo, now I'll have to get another one and I really liked that one"
"Mam, I don't think you can get another one"
"Why do you say that?"
"I've just never heard of that kind of transplant"
"Transplant?"
---
---
---
"Mam, by any chance is the stolen item also referred to as a Yo-Yo?"
"Yes, but I'm always throwing mine down and 'snatching' it back up"
"This explains a lot"
"He stroked my pussy before he left"
"By that you mean your kitty cat?"
"He jumped in my Hoo Haa too"
"That's what you call your car?"
"Nobody ever gets that one"
"I suppose he slobberknocked your coochie coo too?"
"I wasn't wearing it today, but that wouldn't have been such a big deal.
"I understand... I think"

Personally, I am pleased to know that my snatch will be relatively safe should I travel to Malaysia. But
I'm still worried about boarding a bus during rush-hour traffic in Rome.

Personally, I am pleased to know that my snatch will be relatively safe should I travel to Malaysia. But
I'm still worried about boarding a bus during rush-hour traffic in Rome.

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