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March 18, 2005


Now they're using collapsing toilets.


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"Brooks stated ... that the turnpike commission ... should have known it was going to fail and should have warned him."

He just wanted a warning?
"Sir, that toilet is going to fail if you sit on it."
"Okay, thanks for letting me know."
"Yep. You were right. Be a sport and call 911 for me, would ya? I think I injured myself."


guess not.

* takes ball and goes home*

no, rufus.

I was not aware that one could sue for embarrasement and humiliation.....there's a few people that I need to sue then...including myself!

We have to wonder how much the injured party weighed.

Photos! I want photos!

Oh my god ... that is my worst nightmare come true. Second only to dying on the toilet and having paramedics carry me out with my panties round my ankles ... though being dead and all, I guess I wouldn't really notice. But breaking a toilet by sitting on it. Mortifying!

Makes me want to get a wallmounted toilet, just because I hate my roommate...

Good God...haven't been here in ages, and still my posting name and email addy are saved in the Post Comment fields. Does that mean it's time to clean out my cookies..?

Oh and, as far as collapsing toilets go, I once collapsed a urinal. The pure driving power of a full bladder is a force to behold.

Addendum: Hi Punky!

My thought exactly, Lab. And just think - if it had been one of those advertising toilets (the Gizmodo commode), it could have run a movie short to warn any approaching .., er .. patrons. Or they could have posted one of those yellow hazard signs with a silhouette of a toilet falling off a cliff, "WARNING: toilets may fall" with a roll of toilet paper trailing above it.

Hempfield Township ==>
Tip in, whomp de flesh
Shift helped no wimp
Impend(ing) shift, OW, help had to borrow the -ing
I plow hemp shift end

Any one else? Are "Wall-mounted toilets" really for sitting? I thought those were called "urinals."

What was Elvis doing with Punky's panties around his ankles?

it was a booby trap. at least, that is what dale gribble said.


*leaps onto Buddha, wraps legs 'round his waist and peppers his face with kisses*

So nice to have you back :)

Brainy: those are the "sinks."

Well, at least "He's seeking an unstated amount in excess of $30,000 for lost work, pain and suffering, and embarrassment and humiliation."

'cause getting yourself in the press as a clumsy opportunist totally eases the embarrassment and humiliation.

*watches Punky leap, braces self, then buckles and collapses like a wall-mounted toilet*

Sorry, it's been too long since the ol' pep rally days of human pyramids and such.

It's good to be back. I've been in sore need of some Dave since the column stopped appearing in my paper, and in sore need of some Punky since--well, you never appeared in my paper (unless you were one of the hairy-chested American Choppers enthusiasts on today's front page?), but suffice to say you have been missed.

Collapsing Toliets WBAGNFARB.
*insert funny and witty remarks here*

goes back to sleep.

Also, drawing on the scope of my (quite extensive) rest stop experiences, I can say with confidence that any person actually using the toilet--rather than the walls and other various restroom surfaces--represents a higher caliber of restroom patron, and has nothing to be embarrassed about.

Dammit... now we're going to have to install toilet warning signs:

Do NOT sit on toilet. You MUST hover pee or dive bomb, or whatever, so long as you do NOT SIT on the toilet seat. Safety straps and ceiling bars have been installed for your protection.

He lives in Box 46; so he can't be all that heavy.

slyeyes, you're right. He's probably lucky he didn't fall in.

This could add a whole new dimension to swirlie-giving--now they're portable!

He ain't heavy, he's my brother!

PITTSBURGH - Man sues over defective toilet.

Scott A. Keller, of Box 46, Everson, who happens to hold three world records for human density, says he stopped at the Amos K. Hutchinson Bypass mainline toll plaza in Hempfield Township to pinch a loaf on May 4, 2003, when the accident occurred.

Keller stated in the lawsuit that he suffered whiplash, along with various other back and neck injuries, when the "wall-mounted toilet" fell to the floor. He also claims that "its weird flush mechanism, which was mounted totally wrong and in the way!" became lodged in his rectum, where it remains. He's seeking an unstated amount in excess of $8.00 for lost work, pain and suffering, and embarrassment and humiliation. That's right, both embarrassment and humiliation.

James Poodlenuts, manager of bathrooms at the Amos K. Hutchinson Bypass mainline toll plaza in Hempfield Township, said he has no idea why Keller tried to crap in a sink.

yet more reasons to hoverpee
*runs away from Judi*
*stumbles over Buddha and Punky*
HI PUNKY...btw, i hear ur panties got stolen by Elvis. bummer. ;)


Just how fast was he going when he collided with the toilet?

Pursuant to Punky's comment: If you believe in the rapture, then you've got to worry about suddenly appearing in heaven with your pants around your ankles, red-faced and squeezin', in front of God and all those departed relatives.

Just a thought.

speaking of "hoverpeeing", judi, that was discussed on "The View" yesterday. Star and Joy claimed that whenever they have models on the show, they have to deal with "tinkle and sprinkle"

The guy was probably standing on it, trying to see over into the next stall.

His head must have been in the toilet when it collapsed. Sorta like bobbing for apples, except for ....well, you know.

"this toilet has a weight limit of xxx lbs"

My question: before or after ?

I think the weight on the toilet would remain the same before or after the "event". The center of gravity of the toilet would change after the "event" resulting in different stresses on the bolts holding the toilet to the wall so I guess that could effect things. In any case I probably shouldn't have loosened the bolts.

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