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March 30, 2005

THERE IS A GOD

(Thanks to Steve Lancaster)

Posted by on March 30, 2005 at 08:10 AM |

Comments

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YAH!!! And I don't generally rally in favour of Microsoft! Go BILL GO!

Of course, we see where this will go... the powerful lobby for spam will influence the next election by pointing out that 350 people will lose their jobs over this and then they will make it a democratically protected right to spam. But we can rally right now!

Posted by: Somewhere North | March 30, 2005 at 08:14 AM

Let me be the FIRST to tell Richter "where to stick it"!

Posted by: casey | March 30, 2005 at 08:15 AM

How do they make 15 million a year off of 15 million email messages sent per day that NOBODY reads and EVERYBODY trashes? I've never figured out spam, beyond the fact that it's extremely annoying yet tastes good with eggs.

Posted by: Dave (not Barry) | March 30, 2005 at 08:16 AM

Harrassing computer users is Mine, sayeth the Lord Gates.

Posted by: Bruce Alter | March 30, 2005 at 08:16 AM

Looks like Somewhere North edged ahead and beat me by a David Spade nose.

Posted by: casey | March 30, 2005 at 08:17 AM

Good news-Bad News

One down

3 million to go

Posted by: igloo | March 30, 2005 at 08:19 AM

yay for spam-fighters! the force is with them.

Posted by: jamie the star wars nerdgirl | March 30, 2005 at 08:19 AM

yay for spam-fighters! the force is with them.

Posted by: jamie the star wars nerdgirl | March 30, 2005 at 08:19 AM

Microsoft further intends to shut down spam operations by offering Richter's headquarters a free installation of Service Pack 2.........

Posted by: elle | March 30, 2005 at 08:20 AM

sorry about the double post... =(

Posted by: jamie the star wars nerdgirl | March 30, 2005 at 08:20 AM

How will we ever be able to find cheap Viagra now?

Uh, not that I need it . . .

Posted by: Mahatma Kane Jeeves | March 30, 2005 at 08:20 AM

All your spam are belong to us.

Posted by: D'Artagnan | March 30, 2005 at 08:26 AM

Mahatma: not to worry. I'm sure your Ebay-item location skills will keep you well supplied.

Posted by: Debbie | March 30, 2005 at 08:27 AM

"What should we call our company?"
"It needs to be catchy, and not stupid."
"Agreed."
"How about StickABigThingUpMyArse.com?"
"Taken."
"How about OptInRealBig.com?"
"Perfect!"

Posted by: Christobol | March 30, 2005 at 08:27 AM

Dave (not Barry): Volume, man!

Back in the bad old days of junk snail-mail, a mailing was considered successful if only 1% of addresses responded. With the volume of spam, it takes a very very tiny percentage of recipients who don't know any better to make it worthwhile.

Spam makes accessing the born-every-minute suckers much easier.

Jim"never did like the canned meat product"W

Posted by: JimW | March 30, 2005 at 08:35 AM

I too wonder at the economics of people paying millions of dollars for e-mail spam that noone reads. I sense I am in the wrong business. So everyone:

Get your cheap viagra here!
We've got porn!
Do you want to meet someone special?
Hi, I'm a Nigerian businessman....

Just send money!

Posted by: Somewhere North | March 30, 2005 at 08:35 AM

Somewhere North - I'd like to order (3) Special Nigerian businessmen on Viagra for a porn I'm filming.

Does that come with any cheap software?

Posted by: Christobol | March 30, 2005 at 08:39 AM

The kind of spam Mr. Richter was sending was not only annoying,

Is there a non-annoying kind of spam?

Posted by: opiesgirl | March 30, 2005 at 08:41 AM

Cbol- No, but I hear the hardware is...hard.

Posted by: elle | March 30, 2005 at 08:50 AM

Hey without spam, I wouldn't be the well-endowed, erectile-functional, large-breasted, rich, out-of-debt, Nigerian businessman that I am today! Oh, and let's not forget all of those horny housewives that are "knocking on my door", if you catch my drift. Between them and the "hot college coeds", I hardly get any sleep. Thank God for those "cheap and perfectly legal meds" that keep me high as a kite all time.

Posted by: SteveB | March 30, 2005 at 08:52 AM

One can only hope that the bankruptcy court judge hearing this case is a heavy email user. Sorting through his inbox and deleting hundreds of junk messages every morning before court will put him in the proper frame of mind to deal appropriately with the defendant.

Posted by: Gary | March 30, 2005 at 08:56 AM

Elle - ha! That reminds me of the great company I'm fixin' to open. It's a call center that will handle both tech support and sex chat.

*ring*
"Thank you for calling Sexchip, your all in one customer support center. What's your problem?"
"Uh, I think my hardware is broken."
"Ooh baby, don't say that! I'm sure we can get it up in no time!"
"Really? It seems pretty hosed."
"Let mommy take a look at it, stud buns."
"Well. Erm. Okay."
"Are you holding it?"
"It's under the desk."
"Wow. You da man! How can you say it's broken?"
"There's smoke pouring out of it."
"Ooh! You...What? Why is there smoke pouring out of it?"
"I'm asking you."
"Well what were you doing with it before smoke started pouring out of it?"
"Trying to do my taxes."
"That's not very sexy. Kinky, yes."
"Tell me about it."
"Wait, are you talking about a computer?"
"Yes."
"Let me transfer you to line 4."

Posted by: Christobol | March 30, 2005 at 09:05 AM

Can we get Eleanor to prosecute? I know for sure she won't want to defend.

Posted by: D'Artagnan | March 30, 2005 at 09:07 AM

Hi there.

Posted by: God | March 30, 2005 at 09:11 AM

and pop ups...plz plz plz somebody stop pop ups

Posted by: Bangi | March 30, 2005 at 09:12 AM

ya!

Posted by: queensbee | March 30, 2005 at 09:12 AM

Count me in, D'Art! I'm ready!
*orders a case of yellow legal pads from Staples*
*sharpens pencils*
*hires paralegals to do the research*
*goes to Neiman Marcus to buy appropriate trial ensemble, which she will pay for with the attorney fees*

Posted by: Eleanor | March 30, 2005 at 09:14 AM

Bangi- look into downloading free Firefox web browser. My boss did that for us here at work and no more pop-ups. yay!

Posted by: Nerd | March 30, 2005 at 09:22 AM

judi, I just sent you an e-coupon for future purchases of cialis and viagra.

with less competition now, I should get rich faster.

Posted by: long tall texan | March 30, 2005 at 09:40 AM

For once, Microsoft is no longer EVIL!!!!! They are on the side of humanity!

Posted by: Chris | March 30, 2005 at 09:40 AM

*pondering why Judi would want Cialis or Viagra*


*wondering if she can throw a football*

Posted by: Just | March 30, 2005 at 09:42 AM

not with THAT, just.

Posted by: judi | March 30, 2005 at 10:03 AM

Anyone who names their company OptInRealBig should be shot on principle.

Posted by: Guin | March 30, 2005 at 10:15 AM

Guess I'll have to be the first with the obvious Monty Python reference -

Spam Spam Spam Spam, Spam Spam Spam Spam, SPAMITY-SPAM!

Posted by: Zaphod | March 30, 2005 at 10:35 AM

Judi -

:)

Ok... I was just wondering, cuz if Long Tall Texan was giving you e-coupons, he might as well make them useful!!!


*pssst* Judi ... when ya get those coupons, if you don't want them pass them this way... I'm sure some of the people I work with could use them....


*envisioning all the lawyerly types' faces at the stack of Cialis coupons in the break room*


*giving self Award for most grammtically creative post*

Posted by: Just | March 30, 2005 at 10:36 AM

Dammit! I thought I was up for most grammtically correct.

Now I'll just have to settle for smarmiest, dishonorable mention.

Posted by: Christobol | March 30, 2005 at 10:39 AM

C-bol...

You can have Grammatically Correct ... I get Creative .... unless you LIKE being dishonorable... ;)

Posted by: Just | March 30, 2005 at 11:06 AM

Just, it's not that I like it (although I do), it's that being dishonorable is what Christobols do best. Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo.

*bounces off to flash an especially old dead monkey*

Posted by: Christobol | March 30, 2005 at 11:10 AM

Well C-Bol we have some lovely products coming up (har!) for all your porn and software needs.

In fact, there is a lovely work out video that can provide your Nigerian businessmen with iron members. Yes, plural - one is grown on your arm. I'm spamming it as we speak.

That will be $15 million please.

Posted by: Somewhere North | March 30, 2005 at 11:16 AM

Ok, I've been going around mispelling Prairie Dog this whole time, and no one said anything. I bet if I had a big hunk of ugly spinach in my teeth, you'd just let me run around looking the fool.
Well let me assure you, I will be right there, by your side, pointing out every flaw, just so you know. That's the kind of guy I am. ... oh wait ...

Posted by: Prairie Dog | March 30, 2005 at 11:32 AM

Prairie Dog -

We weren't sure if you were misspelling "prairie" of "prayer", so we thought we'd say nothing!

Thanks for clearing that up! :)

Posted by: Eleanor | March 30, 2005 at 11:40 AM

or "pray"

Posted by: Eleanor | March 30, 2005 at 11:41 AM

"For once, Microsoft is no longer EVIL!!!!! They are on the side of humanity!"

Not really, Mr. Gates just doesn't like competition. You know if you sign up for hotmail, he sells your e-mail address to wealthy Nigerians trying to flee their country that need your help, right?

Posted by: Lizzy | March 30, 2005 at 12:13 PM

Ely, you look awesome in that li'l appropriate trial ensemble, can I come sit in court?

*runs to kmart to buy tape recorder*
*buys video recorder instead*

Posted by: D'Artagnan | March 30, 2005 at 12:44 PM

Off-Topic Alert!
Off-Topic Alert!

The blog clock will be correct in 3 days, 8 hours and 30-some minutes, 1 hour less if you use blog clock time (or is it 1 hour more?)

You will now be returned to the original thread just as soon as we put these two loose ends back together again.

Uh...does anybody know how to tie a square knot?

Posted by: Blog Clock Police | March 30, 2005 at 01:28 PM

*hires D'Art to be her paralegal*

*goes back to Neiman-Marcus to buy him a new suit*

Posted by: Eleanor | March 30, 2005 at 03:45 PM

ELEANOR!!! When you need a paralegal, why go to strangers?!?!?!?!?

*slinks away to pout in the corner*

Posted by: slyeyes | March 30, 2005 at 05:01 PM

sly - I thought you knew that you were already on the team as the #1 paralegal - I only hired D'Art to help you! (and he said I looked good in my new outfit!)

*hopes D'Art doesn't read this*
*goes back to Neiman Marcus to buy sly a beautiful trial suit*
*hopes her attorney fees are big enough to pay the N-M bill*

Posted by: Eleanor | March 30, 2005 at 05:34 PM

Oh, I see, now I'm a stranger...

*keeps Ely's brand new Neiman-Marcus suit and runs away*

Posted by: D'Artagnan | March 30, 2005 at 06:51 PM

I hate to throw cold water on the celebration, but this sentence says it all....

"The 5-year-old company, which employed 25 people last year and had 350 clients, will continue to operate under Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection, he said."

Damn Crapweasles!

Posted by: AlanBoss | March 30, 2005 at 07:04 PM

Ooh, can I have a new Neiman-Marcus suit too?

Posted by: Mew | March 30, 2005 at 11:40 PM

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