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March 30, 2005

THERE IS A GOD

(Thanks to Steve Lancaster)

Comments

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YAH!!! And I don't generally rally in favour of Microsoft! Go BILL GO!

Of course, we see where this will go... the powerful lobby for spam will influence the next election by pointing out that 350 people will lose their jobs over this and then they will make it a democratically protected right to spam. But we can rally right now!

Let me be the FIRST to tell Richter "where to stick it"!

How do they make 15 million a year off of 15 million email messages sent per day that NOBODY reads and EVERYBODY trashes? I've never figured out spam, beyond the fact that it's extremely annoying yet tastes good with eggs.

Harrassing computer users is Mine, sayeth the Lord Gates.

Looks like Somewhere North edged ahead and beat me by a David Spade nose.

Good news-Bad News

One down

3 million to go

yay for spam-fighters! the force is with them.

yay for spam-fighters! the force is with them.

Microsoft further intends to shut down spam operations by offering Richter's headquarters a free installation of Service Pack 2.........

sorry about the double post... =(

How will we ever be able to find cheap Viagra now?

Uh, not that I need it . . .

All your spam are belong to us.

Mahatma: not to worry. I'm sure your Ebay-item location skills will keep you well supplied.

"What should we call our company?"
"It needs to be catchy, and not stupid."
"Agreed."
"How about StickABigThingUpMyArse.com?"
"Taken."
"How about OptInRealBig.com?"
"Perfect!"

Dave (not Barry): Volume, man!

Back in the bad old days of junk snail-mail, a mailing was considered successful if only 1% of addresses responded. With the volume of spam, it takes a very very tiny percentage of recipients who don't know any better to make it worthwhile.

Spam makes accessing the born-every-minute suckers much easier.

Jim"never did like the canned meat product"W

I too wonder at the economics of people paying millions of dollars for e-mail spam that noone reads. I sense I am in the wrong business. So everyone:

Get your cheap viagra here!
We've got porn!
Do you want to meet someone special?
Hi, I'm a Nigerian businessman....

Just send money!

Somewhere North - I'd like to order (3) Special Nigerian businessmen on Viagra for a porn I'm filming.

Does that come with any cheap software?

The kind of spam Mr. Richter was sending was not only annoying,

Is there a non-annoying kind of spam?

Cbol- No, but I hear the hardware is...hard.

Hey without spam, I wouldn't be the well-endowed, erectile-functional, large-breasted, rich, out-of-debt, Nigerian businessman that I am today! Oh, and let's not forget all of those horny housewives that are "knocking on my door", if you catch my drift. Between them and the "hot college coeds", I hardly get any sleep. Thank God for those "cheap and perfectly legal meds" that keep me high as a kite all time.

One can only hope that the bankruptcy court judge hearing this case is a heavy email user. Sorting through his inbox and deleting hundreds of junk messages every morning before court will put him in the proper frame of mind to deal appropriately with the defendant.

Elle - ha! That reminds me of the great company I'm fixin' to open. It's a call center that will handle both tech support and sex chat.

*ring*
"Thank you for calling Sexchip, your all in one customer support center. What's your problem?"
"Uh, I think my hardware is broken."
"Ooh baby, don't say that! I'm sure we can get it up in no time!"
"Really? It seems pretty hosed."
"Let mommy take a look at it, stud buns."
"Well. Erm. Okay."
"Are you holding it?"
"It's under the desk."
"Wow. You da man! How can you say it's broken?"
"There's smoke pouring out of it."
"Ooh! You...What? Why is there smoke pouring out of it?"
"I'm asking you."
"Well what were you doing with it before smoke started pouring out of it?"
"Trying to do my taxes."
"That's not very sexy. Kinky, yes."
"Tell me about it."
"Wait, are you talking about a computer?"
"Yes."
"Let me transfer you to line 4."

Can we get Eleanor to prosecute? I know for sure she won't want to defend.

Hi there.

and pop ups...plz plz plz somebody stop pop ups

ya!

Count me in, D'Art! I'm ready!
*orders a case of yellow legal pads from Staples*
*sharpens pencils*
*hires paralegals to do the research*
*goes to Neiman Marcus to buy appropriate trial ensemble, which she will pay for with the attorney fees*

Bangi- look into downloading free Firefox web browser. My boss did that for us here at work and no more pop-ups. yay!

judi, I just sent you an e-coupon for future purchases of cialis and viagra.

with less competition now, I should get rich faster.

For once, Microsoft is no longer EVIL!!!!! They are on the side of humanity!

*pondering why Judi would want Cialis or Viagra*


*wondering if she can throw a football*

not with THAT, just.

Anyone who names their company OptInRealBig should be shot on principle.

Guess I'll have to be the first with the obvious Monty Python reference -

Spam Spam Spam Spam, Spam Spam Spam Spam, SPAMITY-SPAM!

Judi -

:)

Ok... I was just wondering, cuz if Long Tall Texan was giving you e-coupons, he might as well make them useful!!!


*pssst* Judi ... when ya get those coupons, if you don't want them pass them this way... I'm sure some of the people I work with could use them....


*envisioning all the lawyerly types' faces at the stack of Cialis coupons in the break room*


*giving self Award for most grammtically creative post*

Dammit! I thought I was up for most grammtically correct.

Now I'll just have to settle for smarmiest, dishonorable mention.

C-bol...

You can have Grammatically Correct ... I get Creative .... unless you LIKE being dishonorable... ;)

Just, it's not that I like it (although I do), it's that being dishonorable is what Christobols do best. Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo.

*bounces off to flash an especially old dead monkey*

Well C-Bol we have some lovely products coming up (har!) for all your porn and software needs.

In fact, there is a lovely work out video that can provide your Nigerian businessmen with iron members. Yes, plural - one is grown on your arm. I'm spamming it as we speak.

That will be $15 million please.

Ok, I've been going around mispelling Prairie Dog this whole time, and no one said anything. I bet if I had a big hunk of ugly spinach in my teeth, you'd just let me run around looking the fool.
Well let me assure you, I will be right there, by your side, pointing out every flaw, just so you know. That's the kind of guy I am. ... oh wait ...

Prairie Dog -

We weren't sure if you were misspelling "prairie" of "prayer", so we thought we'd say nothing!

Thanks for clearing that up! :)

or "pray"

"For once, Microsoft is no longer EVIL!!!!! They are on the side of humanity!"

Not really, Mr. Gates just doesn't like competition. You know if you sign up for hotmail, he sells your e-mail address to wealthy Nigerians trying to flee their country that need your help, right?

Ely, you look awesome in that li'l appropriate trial ensemble, can I come sit in court?

*runs to kmart to buy tape recorder*
*buys video recorder instead*

Off-Topic Alert!
Off-Topic Alert!

The blog clock will be correct in 3 days, 8 hours and 30-some minutes, 1 hour less if you use blog clock time (or is it 1 hour more?)

You will now be returned to the original thread just as soon as we put these two loose ends back together again.

Uh...does anybody know how to tie a square knot?

*hires D'Art to be her paralegal*

*goes back to Neiman-Marcus to buy him a new suit*

ELEANOR!!! When you need a paralegal, why go to strangers?!?!?!?!?

*slinks away to pout in the corner*

sly - I thought you knew that you were already on the team as the #1 paralegal - I only hired D'Art to help you! (and he said I looked good in my new outfit!)

*hopes D'Art doesn't read this*
*goes back to Neiman Marcus to buy sly a beautiful trial suit*
*hopes her attorney fees are big enough to pay the N-M bill*

Oh, I see, now I'm a stranger...

*keeps Ely's brand new Neiman-Marcus suit and runs away*

I hate to throw cold water on the celebration, but this sentence says it all....

"The 5-year-old company, which employed 25 people last year and had 350 clients, will continue to operate under Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection, he said."

Damn Crapweasles!

Ooh, can I have a new Neiman-Marcus suit too?

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