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March 28, 2005

PROFILES IN COURAGE: CAMERON DIAZ

Our heroine comes face-to-face with a lion and a giant toilet-swelling millipede.

(This is assuming that millipedes have faces.)

Key Quote: "I was over going to the bathroom out at this crocodile facility that we're at."

Comments

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The actress also had a hairy encounter with a huge millipede while she was on the toilet.
Enuf said!

Appropriate that it was a millipede. Be thankful the story did not include a dung beetle.

"I can hear, I know exactly, like instinctually (sic) (it's) the paws of this cat just running."

iinstinctually? Not only did she learn the ways of the ninja on the set of Charlie's Angels but it seems she also learned how to make up her own words. I guess Bernie Mac taught her.

DIAZ EXPERIENCES LION ATTACK ON SAFARI

Typical misleading headline from our liberal press.
She was obviously attacked by a millipede. It was Tony or Tripp that was attacked by the alledged lion.
And what is Linda Tripp doing with Cameron Diaz? Is Linda in charge of Sound Recording?

"I was like, 'Was that TONY or TRIPP, I'm not sure...' It was one of the lions charging a couple of the guys.

And then I was like, all worried that maybe someone was going to DIE and then I was like, what if it's, like, the hairdresser and I have to go through,like the rest of the shoot looking like this! And then I was like all excited when Tony or Tripp (or WHOMEVER) came like walking out and like had all of his body parts. Like OH MY GOD, it was like the greatest thing.

I can do anything except insects.

Do?

Do tell.

like, a zillion fingers coming out...

So that must have been a Zilipede, not a milipede. I will have to wait until later for MKJ to post an appropriate link.

Oops!

I can do anything BUT insects.

My bad.

BTW ---

... toilet swelling insects ... ???

Besides which already, if it was (in fact) a millipede, it had WAY more than six legs ... which is sorta definitive of "insects" ...

Unless (of course) she meant "in sex" ... ?

"They ran like little babies back into the house. I, of course, grabbed my camera and ran outside."

Of course.

One is heartened indeed to learn of Ms. Diaz's toilet habits.

Not to knock the journalistic aptitude on display in this article, but, what happened with the lion attack? Did he start to charge and then just kind of get distracted? Was he eaten by a zillion fingered toilet millipede? Did Cameron shoot it with her camera, thus saving the day?

Something About Cameron and Potties

She was on The Tonight Show last week getting a little too graphic about going potty. And now this article about it.

TMI

Something About Cameron and Potties

She was on The Tonight Show last week getting a little too graphic about going potty. And now this article about it.

TMI

Was she hovering ?

'cameron diaz'= 'no craze maid'

I thought about going for a balloon ride over the Serengeti yesterday, but then I decided to just stay home instead.

I didn't even know that famous people even used toilets - I always thought that their "toilet stuff" kind of, like, well, like, evaporated!

And I can do anything but insects.
I mean, like, didn't we already know that from when she "did" Oliver Stone?!?!

The lion charged until Tony and Tripp whipped out the credit card that can turn back attacking Viking hordes.

SteveB - excellent, my thought exactly. LOL

Given the grammar of this 'interview', it would be completely understandable if the journalist made a mistake. Perhaps Cameron meant,
"I can do anything: butt insects ...."

And this lovely quote: "They ran like little babies back into the house." Since when do, like, little babies run? When they're like, little, they just lie on their backs and stare.

Here's Cameron's lion eating toilet millipede.

"They ran like little babies back into the house. I, of course, grabbed my camera and ran outside."

The Darwin Awards: Celebrity Edition.

Look for it at Amazon.com or at a fine bookstore near you.

It's no wonder celebs think the world revolves around them.
A lion chases two cameramen and it's the scariest day in the life of Cameron.
sheesh.

thefly - yeah, and she gets to call them little babies. If a newspaper ever quoted them calling a celeb a "little baby", they'd be ex-cameramen in a New York second.

It's no wonder celebs think the world revolves around them.
A lion chases two cameramen and it's the scariest day in the life of Cameron.
sheesh.

MOTW: If that were the case, then we'd have to ask you not to refer to them and NY in the same sentence. We don't want any trouble, either.

Text that displays as link ">This is the good cause that Diaz as you know, like, doing this for!

Messed up - my first link mistake !!! -
trying agin:


This!!!

MOTW - I would of been saying a lot worse things if they had stayed to fight a LION.. A LION for crying out loud was running at them. What'd she expect them to do?
I suppose they should of realized that this was scaring Cameron and tried to fight the lion. Because like, that totally would of been wayyy less scary.

I've got a hunch what scared the lion off. While the cameramen were running like little babies Cameron was probably breaking glass with ear splitting (I see something scary happening to someone else) screams.
In reality Cameron probably saved their lives. Giving a very good reason for the heading
Profiles in Courage

Cameron's comments are actually worse than what you have already discussed.

In this article, she describes how she was "totally vulnerable" - since she was going to the bathroom when a millipede crawled out of the toilet.

Meanwhile, when a couple cameramen go into the bush to go to the bathroom and a lion charges them, she calls them wimps for running away.

Isn't a lion charging at you when your pants are down worse than a millipede crawling out of a toilet? I'm not sure what the scoring system is, but I would think the lion comes out as a worse event in the whole "guess what happened while I was relieving myself" arena.

On the plus side, that had to be one of the most complete BMs those cameramen ever experienced.

Christobol, what was Barry Manilow doing in the woods that day, don't you wonder?

Or perhaps we now have a new euphemism for what the cameramen were doing in the woods, like, 'Oh, man, that was a huge Barry Manilow you left back there, like you had a whole lion for dinner last night or something.'

Didn't anyone see the Lion King? That lion would have totally eaten the millipede with a big slurping sound before he ran off with his friends the warthog and the meercat. Cameron should have just invited the "lion into the loo" (which WBAGNFARB btw)


"...They're slimy yet satisfying!"

D'Art - I, for one, always wonder what Barry Manilow was doing in the woods.

And I vote "yes" on your euphemism.

What Barry Manilow was doing in the woods - duh!

writing the songs the whole world sings!

Christobol I'm not sure what the scoring system is ...

Well it's like, you know, like a THOUSAND times worse to drop your drawers in the African bush unless, you know, you can really do it fast and then sprint like hell away from a charging lion whilst the celeb babe is screaming about some zillipede crawling out from her own arse relieving experience before she grabs her camera to snatch a photo of the charging lion. 'K?

MOTW - I see. That makes sense.

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