IF YOU HAD THIS THING, WHAT COMMANDS WOULD YOU GIVE TO YOUR HOUSE?

I would start with: "STOP REQUIRING COSTLY REPAIRS."

(Via the ever-wondrous Gizmodo)

Comments

[Drew]

Something like "Beam me up, Scotty" comes to mind...

[Dave (not Barry.. calm down)]

Great birthday gift idea for that friend with no arms.

[ins 'o' mniac]

Finally I can say 'Make it so, Number One' in a room other than the bathroom !

[Giddy]

My own personal electronic butler? How 'bout:

CLEAN my FLOOR?!

or,

FILET mignon?

oh yeah, the possibilities are endless

[Homer O'Simpson]

More beer!

[Homer O'Simpson]

More beer!

[Lou Bricant]

"Remove urinal penny"

and

"Jane, stop this crazy thing! JAAAAAANE!"

[Dave (not Barry.. calm down)]

Actually, SHE could probably really use one.

[Trystan Shout]

This looks like that thing that glides along the floor, cleaning it.

As a guy, I thought this was the best invention of all time. My significant other, however, thought of everything that could possibly go wrong with it.

You only need one guess as to whether or not we bought one.

[cubie]

beat the boys and make them clean their own room (and bring me a beer)

[O'MOTW]

y'know, cubie, if I ever get to build my dream house, it will have a Velcro Room. I'll have fuzzy straight jackets in assorted sizes for the kids. And whenever they cross the line, I'll fit them into the jacket and toss them into the Velcro room for an hour or so. It will be well-insulated, too, so they can scream as loud as they want.

Wonder why we don't ever see that on Extreme Makeover, Home Edition ?

[everysandwich]

Commands -- hmm...
1) Laser, cannon: stun unsolicited personnel on stoop.
2) stop turning off the power each day just long enough to torture my electronic gear.
3) lure dying rat to accesible area.
4) low-flow commode: repeat flush!
5) Gas meter and electric meter: reduce reading by half as default setting.
6) Structure: stop sinking into the ground.

Maybe a simple self-destruct command would take care of all these issues.

[Giddy]

the other Dave:

LOL, totally Cornographic!

[cubie]

right on O'MO, sounds like a plan

[Esther]

Just one:

Activate cloaking device when mother in law approach is detected.

[Jehovah's Witness]

"Laser, cannon: stun unsolicited personnel on stoop."
==

you don't really mean that.

what you REALLY mean is that you are lost, frustrated by the stress of living in a society that strives to drown out all silence and fill all pauses.

come, join our club, and be a part of our team, where we adhere to the rules set forth by our leader, who was some dude back in the 1800's, rules such as:

-Taking verses out of their immediate context.

-Refusing to read verses in the entire biblical context.

-Inserting our theological presuppositions into the text.

-Altering the Biblical text to suit our needs.

-Latching onto one verse to interpret a host of others.

-Changing the meanings of words.

-Proclaiming some passages to be figurative when they contradict our doctrines.

-Adding to the Word of God.

[ins 'o' mniac]

..actually JW, drowning out silences and filling pauses is one of my things...

Like now.

[Esther]

Actually, Insom, I thought that setting the cannon on "Stun" versus "Kill" was very thoughtful of fellow man.

[bozzy]

Putting my pants on.

[lori]

I find it interesting that they felt the need to tell us that the CLIP can be used as a STAND for "handsfree solution". Wouldn't something clipped to your lapel also be a handsfree solution? Is this really one of the strongest selling points of this item?

[lori]

I find it interesting that they felt the need to tell us that the CLIP can be used as a STAND for "handsfree solution". Wouldn't something clipped to your lapel also be a handsfree solution? Is this really one of the strongest selling points of this item?

[Guin]

"Oil Delivery Man! Send him away before we need a second mortgage to pay for the heat!"

[everysandwich]

Jehovah's -- I'm sorry, but my brain has already been washed, and if I wash it again it will shrink below operational cerebral mass. But if you hurry, I think there's someone in the mood for some indoctination in the next subdivision -- I mean state. Hurry, before they change their minds! Excuse me. (Aside) Esther's Cloaking Device on! .

[Christobol]

My wife has one of those thingies - me.

Now, I see where it takes voice commands, but looking at it, I'm not sure how it carries them out. Because, if it's just going to take the commands, I've already got three of those.

But, assuming it works, and that it has the Star Trek capabilities that have been herein mentioned under paragraphs 4.2 thru b, I would only ever say one thing: "Set Holodeck for Magic Orgy Number 9"

[O'Uncle O'Omar]

I see that Bambi is entering the Beard Contest ...

but that other photo gives whole new meaning to the phrase, "You see one naked chicken, you've seen them all ..."

[opiesgirl]

JW- that was way harsh.

I would command it to build me a house as I currently reside in a one bedroom apartment.

[merik]

hello world!