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March 18, 2005

HOLY SMOKE!

What's that smell?

(Thanks to Claire Martin)

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Holy smokes!...

Echo!

Smells like Jesus?

What the hell (er ... heaven?) did Jesus smell like? If I refer to my limited catechismic education, I'd guess that the candle would include hints of fish, wine and loaves of bread?

Pass.

How did they get his essence? Never mind, don't want to know . . .

And verily the Lord spoketh, saying unto his chosen few, "Pull my finger."

("Smells Like Teen Spirit"

Load up on wax /and Cassia oil
There's myrrh and aloe/on the boil
Take a whiff of God/ and feel well
In the beginning/ was the Smell

Hello, hello, ....

There's more orders, we can handle!
Turn the lights out, light a candle!
Don't be stupid, or outrageous
Turn the lights out, light a candle!
Atheistic!
Irreligious!
Communistic!
An agnostic!

The recipe's just for a psalm
You'll feel whole, you'll feel calm
A little touch of our incense
Will get you off the spiritual fence.

Hello, hello...

(chorus)
Just don't forgot just what it takes
To get to Heaven olfactorily
Just buy some candles, truth to tell
If you don't, you'll reek of Hell!

(chorus)

Al Pacino's new movie: "The Scent of a Jesus"...

Insomniac ... you never disappoint.

Jesus was also a carpenter. That smell is called sweat.

That could also means "smells like Jesus" - Spanish pronunciation "Hey soos"; you know, onions, garlic, jalepenos, and tequila.

Wouldn't want either, a candle that smells like Hey Soos; or a candle that smells like a 2000+ year old deity. Wouldn't matter that his feet had been washed in scented oil.

*ZOT*

If He threw the moneylenders out of the temple, I can't wait to see what He's got in store for these people...

That was all I could come up with since insomniac stole my Teen Spirit spoof idea. (Esther bows to insom)

BRAVO INSOM!!

I can't help but contemplate additions to this product line: A 'Simon Candle' that smells like...

PETER!!!!!!

877-psalm-45.

best phone number ever for a selling/marketing device, IMO -

Makes me proud to be from South Dakota --

Smells like Jesus, ay?

Screw Jesus candles, the Buddha offers a wide variety of incense. Nag Champa for everyone!

What does atheism smell like?

This article made me want to say, "And the Lord did grin..." but felt that more of the scene was required.

'O Lord, bless this Thy hand grenade that, with it, Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits in Thy mercy.'

And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals and fruit bats and large chu--

Skip a bit, Brother.

And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then, lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.'

Amen! Amen!

1.. 2.. 5!

Three sir!

Three!

(angels singing)
kaboom!

Leetie: Love that movie! I finally got the dvd for my birthday and me and my kids love it. My personal favorites are the french guys. "Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries!"

Clearly we have a breakthrough product here, one that begs for further products in this new category. I recommend extending the brand to plug-in room deodorizers and maybe an aftershave.

Then there's this miraculous apparition

Slyeyes -- That headline reminds me of how far we've come as a civilization. Today, for instance, we know it's not a good idea to hold babies on roasting pans.

I'm thinking of opening up a specialty store for sacred Israeli wines and delicacies. Gonna call it Cheeses of Nazareth.

Balanchine - can they also sell some of those Maccabeemia nuts?

If you cut them into small cubes, you can call it "Cheeses Diced!"

and for British tourists - Yom Kippers

* ow!, hey there were some quarters in there!*

Cheeses Diced on a Bamboo Skewer!!!

I'm loving "Stinky Jesus" !
:D

Punky! You're (not your) back! (*hugs Punky*)

Did anyone else notice that Karen was less than literate? "It's the only one on the market and everyone tells us it's very unique and nothing like it," said Karen.

"The only one on the market" is the definition of unique.

"Unique" is a superlative and cannot be qualified. There is no such thing as very unique, really unique or extremely unique.

And I'm sure I'm not the only one to find a candle called "His Essence" to be tasteless in the extreme.

As Maude would say, "God'll get you for this Karen."

When Al Franken coined the term 'supply side Jesus' he just didn't know how right he was!!

When Al Franken coined the phrase 'supply side Jesus' he didn't know how right he was!!

test

WHO, and I really mean WHOOO would buy this? Moonbats?
Can't wait to hear what the explanation will be at the Pearly Gates:
" Well, um....we thought that if you could smell Jesus...uh...then you could, y'know, uh...."
(sound of elevator hurtling downwards very quickly)

Smells like Jesus? Joan of Arc maybe, but Jesus?

Jeff M. --

TY!TY!TY!

I am so very tired of people talking about somthing that is "very unique" or "almost unique" or "quite unique" ... plus, of course, variations on your citation ...

aaaahhh ... Sh!t on Friday ... I keep saying that I've given up, but the hits just keep on comin' ... so I gotta get in the rant mode every once in awhile ...

tnx again, JM, for being there ...

end (for now) of rant

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