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March 25, 2005


(Thanks again to Mahatma Jane)


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Danke Schoen !

How wrong is this? Let me count the ways:

1. It's a blow up doll of Wayne Newton.
2. See #1.

I'm third(it's a personal best)

How do they know Wayne has painted on chest hairs?

I can't believe there are actually two bids on this things.

Graz, cause he's native American. There's a genetic tendancy to not have a lot of chest hair. Not a lot of facial hair, either. That mustache has always freaked me out.

There are a very few smudge marks on the face, but they could easily be removed with soap and water. However, the buyer can do that if desired.

Why didn't they just wash his face and not say anything about it -- or were they talking about the mustache.

sly: i too was wondering what kind of kinky smudge-fetishists they thought they'd be selling to...

Where can I get my Dave Barry blowup doll? What a goldmine!

It isn't obscene . . .


That is just sick and depraved! I can't believe they can get away with selling that.

He looks nothing like Wayne Newton!

This guy goes to more interesting estate sales than I do. My last try had some 50,000 little plastic dolls with extraordinarily fancy clothes. Even in sum total, not nearly as obscene as this one item. bizzare.

Are we sure it isn't really a Tony Orlando blow-up doll?

Note that the item says that the buyer can remove the smudge off the doll if they want to. All I'm saying is, if the SELLER doesn't want to remove the mystery stain, I wouldn't want to either!

Gee thanks! Excuse me while I go back to eBay to find something to gouge my eyes out with...

Trivia info:

Wayne Newton doesn't even have his moustache any more!

He probably sold his moustache on Ebay!

Anyone remember the article Dave wrote some fifteen-odd (very odd) years ago about the woman who was planning to hold a wedding for a blow-up doll named Tiffany (who lived in her family's swimming pool, for reasons known only to them)?

She canceled the wedding because her real, noninflatable son got married himself, giving her a real wedding to plan, but now she could buy this Wayne-doll and ease Tiffany's rejection. Assuming all the air hasn't leaked out of her by now.

If I did put the up for sale on E-Bay, it would be real interesting to see if Sophie buys them. The naked Barbies, that is.

The talking Pee Wee Herman dolls are now living in the dumpster.

"I know you are but what am I"
"A dumpster diver"

this doll is, er, physiologically correct? the picture probably would have been xrated if they showed that... but i guess some people have waaay too much money for themselves. ewww.

it kept turning itself on at the wrong moment.

Don't you just hate it when that happens?

This doll isn't physically accurate....oh, wait, it's Wayne Newton...never mind!!

scat: good work!

Okay girls, if you want the real thing, you can have it! Enlarged pupils, deranged expression, sure to be a memorable evening!

An inflatable image of Newton
Might be what you're wanting, dang tootin'!
Don't be surprised though
When you give it a blow
If it ends up resembling Rasputin!!

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