DAVID SPADE UPDATE
And you thought he didn't have one
Related News Item: This is one determined guy.
Meanwhile, in Canada: A town refuses to pay $20,000 to restore Frank the Baggage Handler's, um, baggage.
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March 23, 2005
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His penis has a Dorsal Vein. Does he have a porpoise for a penis?
Posted by: igloo | March 23, 2005 at 04:00 AM
Prepare for an onslaught of spam:
"Grow a longer penis on your arm!"
Posted by: qetzal | March 23, 2005 at 04:05 AM
Is this what actually happened to Joseph Merrick?
Some penis grafting experiment gone horribly wrong.
Posted by: igloo | March 23, 2005 at 04:22 AM
Top-O-The morning to ya Dave.
Not sure what you had for a snack last night, although I suspect the pizza had sausages on it. Next time, take a Zanac®, and you will sleep better with fewer odd-ball dreams.
Posted by: igloo | March 23, 2005 at 04:27 AM
So, when a beautiful woman walked by, did his arm go up in a "Heil" type salute?
Posted by: slyeyes | March 23, 2005 at 04:30 AM
Kind of reminds me of a bit that Mel Brooks said was cut from Blazing Saddles. It was the end of the bedroom scene between Madelein Kahn (Lili Von Shtupp) and Cleavon Little (Sheriff). The bedroom was dark, all you saw was light coming through the window.
Lili: Eez eet twue what zey say about your people?
*sound of long zip*
Lili: Oooh, ees twue ees twue.
(Deleted)
Sheriff: That's my arm you're licking.
Posted by: slyeyes | March 23, 2005 at 04:36 AM
Wow, I've heard of wearing your heart on your sleeve, but this . . .
Posted by: Mahatma Kane Jeeves | March 23, 2005 at 04:53 AM
(no pun intended)
Posted by: Mahatma Kane Jeeves | March 23, 2005 at 04:54 AM
Lorena Bobbit spotted in British Columbia.
Posted by: Mark | March 23, 2005 at 05:07 AM
nobody noticed because SNL has jumped the shark. nobody's watchin.
Posted by: queensbee | March 23, 2005 at 05:21 AM
All I have to say is "Ashton Kutcher--ewwwwwww."
Posted by: rita | March 23, 2005 at 06:33 AM
I once worked on the sitcom "Just Shoot Me" when Spade was present. It definitly WAS a penis on his face, but you have to get really close.
Posted by: Dave (not Barry.. calm down) | March 23, 2005 at 06:52 AM
In the annals of "SNL" type humor, the nose-penis has been done before. See the 1991 Dan Ackroyd feature, "Nothing but Trouble" and watch the judge's nose morph as the movie progresses. Being able to do the joke on TV is progress (maybe).
Posted by: Sandy | March 23, 2005 at 07:07 AM
I don't like that smarmy penisface. Except when he was the straight man for Chris Farley.
Posted by: Mahatma Kane Jeeves | March 23, 2005 at 07:27 AM
did his nose get larger when he told a lie?
D. Spade's a comedic disgrace
Whose organs will not keep their place.
It's no big surprise
As to where his mind lies
It's as plain as the "No"'s on his face!
Posted by: insomniac | March 23, 2005 at 08:14 AM
And all this time I've been wondering what it was about Owen Wilson's nose that seemed so familiar...
Insomniac, you are truly one of the great limericists of today's society. :)
Posted by: Panacea | March 23, 2005 at 08:56 AM
And all this time I've been wondering what it was about Owen Wilson's nose that seemed so familiar...
Insomniac, you are truly one of the great limericists of today's society. :)
Posted by: Panacea | March 23, 2005 at 08:56 AM
So baby, did you know all the girls call me "big nose"....
Posted by: ¿wysiwyg? (MBE-LP) | March 23, 2005 at 01:49 PM
Dave, I don't get it. First you damn ananova for making up stories, then you ignore my ananova version of this story, - penis on arm - and accept another that quotes the ananova original, which I sent in yesterday!
What gives???
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | March 23, 2005 at 02:20 PM
Dave,
What IS that on your nose at the top of this page???? Did David Spade steal that 'intellectual property' from you?
I'd sue.
Posted by: Lmd33 | March 23, 2005 at 02:37 PM
Jeff:
I feel for you, because you're not the only one to whom soemthing like that has happened from time to time.
I think it was the novelty of a post from IOL, a South African outfit. Ananova is getting to be too easy of a mark. That, or it just took time for Dave (and Judi) to go through all the stuff we send in while taking care of other more important stuff, like putting clothes back on all those Barbie dolls and taping those late-night shows.
One solution is to find websites that other Dave/Judibloggers don't go to, like Ebay PNG, where you can find on any given day dozens of authentic, used penis sheathes for sale. Another thing you should try is dressing up in short shorts and a halter and going and babysit Dave's daughter. That way, YOU can put clothes back on those Barbie dolls and Dave can spend more time sifting through our email. Unless Dave actually enjoys putting clothes back on those Barbie dolls. In which case maybe you should buy Judi a TiVo.
Uh, Jeff, you do look good in short shorts and halters, don't you?
Posted by: Poop Dogg | March 23, 2005 at 05:05 PM