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March 23, 2005

DAVID SPADE UPDATE

And you thought he didn't have one

Related News Item: This is one determined guy.

Meanwhile, in Canada: A town refuses to pay $20,000 to restore Frank the Baggage Handler's, um, baggage.

Comments

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His penis has a Dorsal Vein. Does he have a porpoise for a penis?

Prepare for an onslaught of spam:

"Grow a longer penis on your arm!"

Is this what actually happened to Joseph Merrick?
Some penis grafting experiment gone horribly wrong.

Top-O-The morning to ya Dave.
Not sure what you had for a snack last night, although I suspect the pizza had sausages on it. Next time, take a Zanac®, and you will sleep better with fewer odd-ball dreams.

So, when a beautiful woman walked by, did his arm go up in a "Heil" type salute?

Kind of reminds me of a bit that Mel Brooks said was cut from Blazing Saddles. It was the end of the bedroom scene between Madelein Kahn (Lili Von Shtupp) and Cleavon Little (Sheriff). The bedroom was dark, all you saw was light coming through the window.

Lili: Eez eet twue what zey say about your people?

*sound of long zip*

Lili: Oooh, ees twue ees twue.

(Deleted)
Sheriff: That's my arm you're licking.

Wow, I've heard of wearing your heart on your sleeve, but this . . .

(no pun intended)

Lorena Bobbit spotted in British Columbia.

nobody noticed because SNL has jumped the shark. nobody's watchin.

All I have to say is "Ashton Kutcher--ewwwwwww."

I once worked on the sitcom "Just Shoot Me" when Spade was present. It definitly WAS a penis on his face, but you have to get really close.

In the annals of "SNL" type humor, the nose-penis has been done before. See the 1991 Dan Ackroyd feature, "Nothing but Trouble" and watch the judge's nose morph as the movie progresses. Being able to do the joke on TV is progress (maybe).

I don't like that smarmy penisface. Except when he was the straight man for Chris Farley.

did his nose get larger when he told a lie?

D. Spade's a comedic disgrace
Whose organs will not keep their place.
It's no big surprise
As to where his mind lies
It's as plain as the "No"'s on his face!

And all this time I've been wondering what it was about Owen Wilson's nose that seemed so familiar...

Insomniac, you are truly one of the great limericists of today's society. :)

And all this time I've been wondering what it was about Owen Wilson's nose that seemed so familiar...

Insomniac, you are truly one of the great limericists of today's society. :)

So baby, did you know all the girls call me "big nose"....

Dave, I don't get it. First you damn ananova for making up stories, then you ignore my ananova version of this story, - penis on arm - and accept another that quotes the ananova original, which I sent in yesterday!

What gives???

Dave,

What IS that on your nose at the top of this page???? Did David Spade steal that 'intellectual property' from you?

I'd sue.

Jeff:

I feel for you, because you're not the only one to whom soemthing like that has happened from time to time.

I think it was the novelty of a post from IOL, a South African outfit. Ananova is getting to be too easy of a mark. That, or it just took time for Dave (and Judi) to go through all the stuff we send in while taking care of other more important stuff, like putting clothes back on all those Barbie dolls and taping those late-night shows.

One solution is to find websites that other Dave/Judibloggers don't go to, like Ebay PNG, where you can find on any given day dozens of authentic, used penis sheathes for sale. Another thing you should try is dressing up in short shorts and a halter and going and babysit Dave's daughter. That way, YOU can put clothes back on those Barbie dolls and Dave can spend more time sifting through our email. Unless Dave actually enjoys putting clothes back on those Barbie dolls. In which case maybe you should buy Judi a TiVo.

Uh, Jeff, you do look good in short shorts and halters, don't you?

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