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March 24, 2005

AN IMPORTANT TECHNOLOGICAL (burrrrrrppppp) ADVANCE

The BottleSpy.

(Via Gizmodo)

Comments

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"Couldn't they just count their bottles?"
"Shut up."

What a coincidence.. my wife also counts every beer I drink and goes into "sleep mode" after 15 seconds of inactivity.

Nobody knows the bottles I've drunk..

Now BottleSpy does!

Dang thing won't be worth much if'n you're used to usin' yer teeth fer openin'. What if you drink from cans?

Key Quote: "There can be no arguments about who's swallowed what"

What kind of drinking contest IS this?

SKANKSBORO, AR - Gladys Floppybottom swears by the new BottleSpy she bought online two months ago. "Before that, my husband Earl was a drunkard and a bastard. Now, he's just a bastard."

Her secret? She has rigged the BottleSpy to miscount the number of beers Earl has consumed in an evening. "Where he used to drink about a case, I've managed to get him down to about 14 beers a night. But he thinks he's drinking 143,000!"

When asked his opinion of the BottleSpy, it was discovered that Earl Floppybottom is, in fact, a pile of rags.

I think I'm going to by the "Vibrating Head Massager" Since I.R. Allcock, it should be quite invigorating.

Batteries Included

It's a good thing.

So that's how they know there's "99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer, take one down, pass it around, 98 bottles of beer on the wall, 98"

I could go on and on, but I'll stop before I reach negative numbers.

that may take the fun out of it for some...

BottleSpy Commercial:
Voiceover-"Do you ever wonder if you might have a drinking problem?"

*Cut to rundown apartment, close up onto pile of beer bottles*

Haggard looking man climbing out from under pile of bottles-"Oh no, how much did I drink last night?"

"Hmm-No time to count these bottles, I'll check my BootleSpy."
"487?! I must be an alcoholic! Thanks BottleSpy!"

Voiceover-"If you suspect you have a drinking problem but were unsure how to tell, get BottleSpy and know for sure."


"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
Dave Barry"
With or without the counting.

I think this particular item would go missing from the junk drawer real quick . . .

Have you ever woken up with the hangover from hell and thought ‘how did I get so drunk, I only had...'

I always know the exact answer, I only had ONE too many, the LAST one.

Duh!

I have woken with a hangover..
Looked at the person in bed with me and thought... How did I get so drunk?

If only I had control over my taste in women when I'm pissed.....

I'm in the market for one of those machines.
Any leads MJK?

I have read posts and thought...
How did I screw up like that.
Of course I meant "Any leads MKJ"

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