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February 17, 2005

YOUR DAILY CLAIRE MARTIN ITEM

Might as well admit it, Fido: You're addicted to toads.

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Wow. Wasn't this prophesied in Big Trouble?

Dogs can smile?

"Hello, my name is Fido, and I'm a toad-licker."

It looks like I need to break out the "Toad Bong" for Fido.

I wonder if pet insurance covers detox for dogs....

Now if only America would make pot legal, dogs would not have to resort to licking dangerous toads to get high...

Key phrase:
Cane toads have been in Katherine for three wet seasons.

I wonder if there's a correlation between weird news and an Australian or New Zealander..just wondering....

And we shouldn't have to mention the fact that Bufo Toxin wbagnfarb with their debut CD "Llicking The Toxin To Get High".

Ooops. Sorry - I did mention it.

I love this quote:

"They lick the toads and only take in a small amount of the poison - they get a smile on their face and look like they are going to wander off into the sunset."

I wonder if I could get some of that for my Lhasa Apso..he's getting old and mighty cranky!!!

"I thought you said if I licked this I'd get some bufo-toxin and get high!"

"Patience, my dear."

Debbie,

I thought the same about that quote but did not want to bring it up and then be accused of having a filthy mind!

Cbol: do you get the same reaction from licking penguins? Just had to ask...

Licking penguins produces an entirely different reaction. For the penguin that is.

Car lights are gone, nobody's home,
You don't want to gnaw a bone.
Your mouth pants, your tail shakes,
Another lick is what it takes!
You can't eat, don't wanna fetch
As dogs go, you're quite a wretch
Your throat is tight,can't find your bowl,
If there's no help soon, you're gonna howl!

You like to take a drink from the commode, oh yeah!
But it's closer to the truth to say that you'd sell your pups,
You're gonna have to face it, you're addicted to toads!

Julietine you don't have to bring ANYTHING (else) up to be accused of having a dirty mind... but we like you that way.

Ummm...Are stoned dogs really a problem? I mean, I could understand those dogs who DRIVE stoned might be an issue, but otherwise, why rob these creatures of their fun? Did anyone ask the toads if they are disturbed by the sensation? Perhaps this is something only PETA can answer...

WC,

Thanks...I am moved!...

I thought Claire Martin's first name was Claire, now it turns out it's Daily.

The things you learn.

I thought Claire Martin's first name was Claire, now it turns out it's Daily.

The things you learn.

I thought Claire Martin's first name was Claire, now it turns out it's Daily.

The things you learn.

Why? Why me?!

Does anyone on this blog have a non-dirty mind? Other than yesterday's virgin but I see she got up to speed (or bufo-toxin if you prefer) with us blogettes rather quickly.

You get experienced very fast around here....

Key Quote:

"Ms Pickering said if a dog was suffering from cane toad poisoning - fitting, running in circles, with bright red gums and/or frothing at the mouth - wash its mouth out with water as quickly as possible. "

Sure, 'cause the first thing I do when I see a dog running in circles and foaming at the mouth is say "Here, puppy, puppy, puppy!"

I can't believe noone has asked Vicky Tisdale about this. She IS our authority on dog behaviour after all.

I wonder what her opinion of lobster boiling is?

Finally.... the deadly search for the gnome garden ends

**akgirl removes wetsuit and books a flight to Australia

A stoned dog might well act out its anagram: odd get ons.

Also, this stoner toad news may necessitate the rewriting of a couple of fairy tales, wherein a princess kisses a frog, gets really high and goes to the dogs. Or something.

ps: Bonus anagram: Ted Nods Go

Toads must be a crutch for emotional support pets.

"Your dog is so cute! What's its name?"
"Thanks. His name is Clamidia."
"Haven't heard that one. What's this huge bandage?"
"That's a patch. He's on a bufo-toxin patch, for his toad addiction."
"Okay...I need to leave."
"Whatever. Why do they even say dogs are chick magnets?"

Inside a dog's mind:

Lick toad or lick crotch? Lick....toad.....or lick....crotch. TOAD OR CROTCH?? Ahhh, lick toad THEN lick crotch....there we go-AHHH! IT BURNS!

*froths at mouth, runs in circles*

elle,
Yeah, from what I've witnessed (and God only knows about what I haven't), there isn't anything -- ANYTHING-- that my dog wouldn't lick at least once. And, most times, he'll lick it again, just to make sure it's something he doesn't want to lick.

Lairbo
My husband has that problem

Your husband is a DOG?? Oh wait, that's right man=dog. I'm with you.

Unless you mean a real dog in which case your marriage laws are even weirder than ours.

MMmmmmmmmmm bufo toxin

dog man its a fine line....

**goes back to humming "might as well face it your addicted to toad"

Is it me or is this blog getting blurry...
must be the toad gizz

Cane toads have been in Katherine for three wet seasons.

EEWwwwwwww.

Someone should tell Katherine that the only things allowed in her are wet slimy worms, Canadian gay bananas and lobster tails. Toads are just disgusting.

Needless to say...

three seasons is a long time to be wet

I prefer the green toads over the browns, tastier.

*urp*

Giddyyyyy:
Was your dog licking toads while he watched the kids the other day?

Nah, well, not that I KNEW of, huh..
but I did give him some extra special cookies when we got back.

Good boy!
*woof*

"fitting, running in circles, with bright red gums and/or frothing at the mouth"

Wait a minute, the KIDS were doing that, though... Just seemed like a normal behavior at the time.

It is normal for kids. That is why adults turn to bufo toxins when babysitting...Evens the playing field.

I'm afraid I'm involved in a very pornographic pillow fight on another blog at the moment so I have to go...

A bufo-intoxinated dog to intruder:

"Bow-wow, man . . . "

Great! Now we can do the dog version of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas! All Dogs Go to Vegas?

Rover: I'm licking but I'm not feeling anything?
Kermit's sister: Hmmmm... you should be
Rover: Nothing
Kermit's sister: I'm starting to feel it
Rover: Nothing
Kermit's sister: You're making me one happy frog!
Rover: You said you were a Bufo Toad!
Kermit's sister: I... I... I... Bufo Shmufo... stop and I'll have you fixed!

Somewhere,

did you say pornograhic pillow fight??..where???...when???...I am in!...

For those of you that watch the Simpsons, Homer got high from licking a toad in one of the episodes. I think they went to South America or something (dont quote me on that though).
Makes me wonder...is it safe for humans? I'll be in the placebo group to test it for the FDA. Heehee...

Sarah,

yeah right!...sure...

Hi Juletine. I came up for air. The lobster blog has somehow (not my fault!) turned into a slow motion, naked pillow fight. I blame too many bufo toxins.

Dogs should be prevented whenever possible from licking cane toads, and getting high.

Canine 1: "Freak out man, this dig is happening."

Canine 2: "No way man. This stash is draggin me down."

Canine 1: "Look out, here comes the fuzz."

Canine 2: "Heavy dude."

Somewhere North: Sure, try to look all innocent and chaste on THIS thread while you shake your bare boo-tay in all the blogboys' faces on the other thread.

*just returning from videoing a great pillow fight singing "might as well face it your addicted to toad*

Julietine, ask Katherine if a “wet season” is code “for “a certain time of the month”
I’m too embarrassed to ask

(WC, yea that was funny)

Has anyone seen moe? He left me to be bitten by a spitting snake on the toilet thread.

Can't believe no one has already done this:

Them Toad Suckers

How about Them Toad Suckers,
Ain't they clods?
Sittin' there suckin'
Them green toady-frogs.

Suckin' them hop-toads,
Suckin' them chunkers,
Suckin' them leapy types,
Suckin' them plunkers.

Look at Them Toad Suckers,
Ain't they snappy?
Suckin' them bog-frogs
Sure makes'em happy.

Them huggermugger Toad Suckers,
Way down south,
Stickin' them sucky-toads
In they mouth.

How to be a Toad Sucker?
No way to duck it.
Gittchyself a toad,
Rare back and suck it!

- Mason Williams, "Them Pomes"

Cane toads have been in Katherine for three wet seasons.

Monistat™ is not gonna fix that.

That was beautiful, Pogo.....I'm gonna keep it close to my heart.

Cane toads have been in Katherine for three wet seasons

That being the case, if someone Hmmmmm hmmmmmms in Katherine's hmmmmmm hmmmmmmmmmmm, would they get high?

Shucks Sarah, Old Mason Williams wrote some lovely love poems - "Them Tummygummers", "Them Fanny Patters", and my favorite, "Them Moose Goosers".

OOOH can some one please pass the moose goosers


**Settles in for poem time

pogo: Being an avid moose-collector (you should SEE my house), I'm stunned I hadn't run across that poetic beaut b-4.
YER AWESOME!

I think I may look him up, he sounds like a wise man. Fanny Patters and Moose Goosers Unite!!

Found online, unsure if it's unedited.

How about Them Moose Goosers,
Ain't they recluse?
Up in them boondocks,
Goosin' them moose.

Goosin' them huge moose,
Goosin' them tiny,
Goosin' them meadow-moose
In the hiney.

Look at Them Moose Goosers,
Ain't they dumb?
Some use an umbrella,
Some use a thumb.

Them obtuse Moose Goosers,
Sneakin' through the woods,
Pokin' them snoozy moose
In the goods.

How to be a Moose Gooser?
It'll turn ye puce.
Gitchy gooser loose and
Rouse a drowsy moose!

-Mason Williams

Licks her toad and thinks "moose gooser club...hmmm why not. Not much else to do here in the winter.

"Come on, dude, you've just gotta try it. I mean, lickin' an ugly toad is no big deal; after all, you lick your owner's face, and look at him. Try it and then stare into your water bowl -- it's amazing. And it makes Alpo taste 1000 times better!..."

"Whoa, you're right, man, trippy! Only problem was my tail. I thought it was a Ball Park frank and chased it for four hours straight."

The updated fairy tale:

Princess has to kiss the toad to get her prince back, but a spell made her get confused, beginning to please the prince while he was still an amphibian. Upon discovering that he secreted toxins that made her high, she decided to keep things that way, and Prince Charming became a drug slave toad. The prince got his woman, the princess got high, and they lived happily ever after.

The end.

I watched that pillow fight.

It was not pornographic ... it was a thing of beauty (well, actually several things) and a joy forever ...

I know that reneviht made the reference in the first post, but I came in here to say and I'm going to say it to get it out of my system.....

This story sounds like something that I read in a book, once.

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