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February 16, 2005

THIS IS NOT FUNNY

But it's something.

(Thanks to Steve Lancaster)

Comments

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FIRST!

I'd like to see him show up at the trial anyway, just to see the look on people's faces.

Not funny. But definitely spooky.

first!

Well that's only fair. I'm sure he'll have an opinion. Are they going to interview him via the casket phone?

think the dead guy's biased?

ok, third.
when i tried to type my comment, first, and it was loading, it took a while, i guess because i wasn't. first, that is....

ok, third.
when i tried to type my comment, first, and it was loading, it took a while, i guess because i wasn't. first, that is....

He won't make any rash judgements. No lame excuses as to why he should be dismissed. Will be a model juror in his conduct during the trial. Hell, let him serve.

I think they should declare a mistrial. The dead guy is tampering with the jury. He's definitely already formed an opinion on the defendant's guilt.

For something that's not funny, we can sure think of some funny things to say about it.

who do you think he'll vote for in november? and did he own a gerbil?

not only do the dead vote,as in some parts of the country, but now they have to serve on juries!

for Eleanor, who thought my Sarawak post was boring:

When creating our lists for 'voir dire'
Let us make one thing perfectly clear.
That the dearly deceased
Are hearby released
Postpone them until the next year!

Does anyone think this sounds like an episode of "Twilight Zone"?

I'd like to present as evidence.....Juror number 5.

did anyone read "articles related to this story" it goes on to tell that the father in law didn't mean to shoot him" He was just trying to warn him to get out of his house.

f.i.l - "get out or I am going to shoot you in the head" oh sorry guess your fish casket phones not working today.... I should have warned you before I gave the warning shot........

"Please tell me, in your own words, or at least the words we rehearsed, how you killed the victim, er, your attacker that is, in self defense."

"Sure. I was sitting at my table, knitting houses, you know, for the tsunami victims, when the deceased, he was deceased at the time, came and stabbed me with a pencil, in the face."

"I did not!"

"Will your honor please tell the dead juror to shut up?"

"Juror #5, you may not speak."

"WoooooOOOOOOOOOooooooh!"

"Juror #5, you may not haunt."

"Shit."

Mitch Albom's new book" 'The 5 people you meet on jury duty.'

*snorks in her coffee at Cbol*

You watch - next they'll send out a warrant for his arrest for failure to report to jury duty...

.....and then ask him to serve as a witness in his own trial.

If the defendant goes nuts during the trial, pulls out a gun and shoots juror #5 in the head, or anywhere for that matter, what is he charged with? Mutilating a corpse? And what effect does the action have on the live jurors? Are they then haunted?

insom - A plus on this limerick!!!

And why would you ever think that I thought your Sarawak post was boring - I don't even remember it!

*ooops - did I just type that*

If it was today, I have a headache and should be forgiven for any - well, anything! And didn't I tell you that you were fabulous just a few days ago?

Is there an ego problem here? :)

*sorry*
you had just taken someone's pills and they had taken effect at that time , your post was 'zzzzzzzzzzz' as I recall... so it was the 'medication'.

Ah another wonderful example of our government at work.
Do you think the'll hold him for contempt.

Apology not necessary - you are right - the
zzzzzzzzzzzzzz was from the effect of the pills from Deon - certainly nothing to do with you, adorable one!

That's the problem with dial-up - by the time a response you make is posted, several other things have occurred - in lawyer talk, an intervening superceding act - and you've become irrelevant - hmmmph!

an intervening superceding act

El, you're so sexy when you do that lawyer talk...

Yes, AJ - oh, I like that - can I call you AJ?

and I like my pink hair - good excuse to buy new wardrobe to coordinate with hair color!

If he didn't have cold feet, he'd probably show up for jury duty.

Eleanor - my 3 yr old princess'd tell you everything goes with pink! Happy shopping!!

I know what they'll do with this guy --

Prosecute him for failing to respond to the court order and get a warrant for his arrest when he doesn't show up for trial. When it's been ascertained that he's not in the state (since apparently death certificates don't mean anything), the FBI will get involved. Pres. Bush will call to seal the borders, inadvertently stopping al-Qaeda's next big attack, and receive full credit for foreseeing the threat and reacting quickly to save lives. Meanwhile, Canada and Mexico will be pissed by the excessive use of the military and the replacement of their leaders with puppets of the U.S. government.

Alex D. - That sounds so realistic that it's scary!

I've actually brought death certificates to Court to show a judge to get the case against my client dismissed, and the Dep. Dist. Atty. asks the Court for a continuance so their office can check it out for themselves!

This happened on more than one occasion!

What's funny is that I really tried to make that as absurd as possible. Perhaps I have a future in writing satire.

Alex D - what if we give them muppets? Would they still be pissed?

Some countries, you can't please.

Well, muppets are a step up from what we currently have which is snakes. Of course, we may vote Bush out of office but you really have to ask if that's a bad thing... Ok - I'll be American from now on.

But we won't bend on the Krispy Kreme issue...

I say we replace all world governments with members of Team America: World Police.

I say we should vote for them based on how well they can sing. Then we could start a TV program and call it American President and they would have to audition we could have 3 judges rip into them and then we could add a bathing suit contest just to keep it interesting... That's how we vote here in Canada.

FOX was seriously working on American President 2 years ago. I wonder if they'll be ready for '08.

Hairy presidents in swimsuits....very very interesting.........

Frankly I think this should definitely be the wave of the future - it renders the 11 other jury members superfluous, and the chance the jury will return an incorrect verdict is practically nil. What's not to like?

Weekend At Bernie's meets 12 Angry Men.

bwahhaaa slyeyes.

book title: the juror was a corpse, by erle stanley gardner, or whomever...

bwahhaaa slyeyes.

book title: the juror was a corpse, by stephen king....

Boy, I thought I'd seen the height of incompetence previously, but I think this takes the cake!

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