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February 18, 2005

ROACH SO H...ERR, HUNGRY

Featuring the newest sensation: Disembodied Roach Antenna.

(Thanks to Cheesehead Dave and Lairbo)

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Randy Cockroaches wbagnfarb

sex-hungry males

are there any other kind?

That headline could just as easily read: Sex hungry men lured to death.

Nature is nothing if not consistent...

"Honey, why are you humping the roach trap?"

"I really don't know."

That headline could just as easily read: Sex hungry men lured to death.

Nature is nothing if not consistent...

"They found the right gland..."

I've been looking for the right gland for AGES...

All I've got is this left one..

Key quote: "We hope it will be like a syphilis mode of insect control"

Syphilitic Cockroaches is a good name for a rock band, but is a better name for politicians.

"What the h**l!! I've been around since the ice age and you guys are going to wipe me out using sex!! Man, that's low, even for humans, that's low!!"

"But, Iyou can't get rid of me that easy. I'm just going to wrap my antennae in singing condoms. Now what, punks!! Huh?! Didn't think of that, did ya?
Man, I hate you jerks!!"

Hey! I sent this to Dave yesterday, it was the same article but written by a different author on a different website!
Is it funnier when it's sent by someone named Cheesehead??
*pout* *sniffle*

Sarah: yes, it is.

"The trap would contain a lethal pathogen, which sex-hungry males would pick up and pass through their colony. "

Sounds like my dating scene.

A lethal pathogen passing through your colon sounds especially painful.

just EWWWW! i hate cockroaches.. ewwww.

Scientists managed to identify and manufacture sex pheromones specific to certain species of cockroach some time ago. But the most menacing of them all - the American Male- remained a tough nut to crack. "The American Male is the biggest pest worldwide," said Dr Roelofs. "So people were looking way back in the 70s to see if they could synthesise it - but it eluded their attempts." The problem was nobody could find where the pheromones were being emitted from. After a long hunt, Dr Roelofs and his team found the relevant gland, right at the tip of the female's abdomen. Their next task was to identify the particular chemical that drives males wild. They did this by testing a series of possible candidates on a disembodied male penis. "The male penis is the only detector in the world that can tell us which is the active compound," explained Dr Roelofs. "We would strap the penis between two electrodes, and the electrodes would record depolarisation as soon as it was stimulated by the active compound." Once the hapless penis had led them to the right chemical, the team was able to manufacture it artificially.
*the door is WIDE open*

Cockroach Scientist -- not exactly my idea of a dream job.

"How was your day, honey?"

"Well, I finally located the correct roach gland, and then I tested my findings on a disembodied antenna, and..."

"OK!! Let's see what on TV!!"

Next invention: roach brothels.

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