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February 28, 2005


Slow start. Five minutes gone, and Jack has not shot a single person, though he did briefly turn Secretary of Defense William Devane's annoying daughter's annoying husband into a human toaster.

Update: Victoria's Secret has a new bra, the "Ipex," coming out March 1.

Update: Blah, blah, blah. I'm beginning to miss American Idol.

Update: Jack is on his way.

Update: According to the New York Daily News: ...next month, Victoria's Secret will launch IPEX, a model meant to inspire sighs of relief. According to VS, the bra provides total support and coverage - particularly at the all-important center of the cup - without lumpy padding. The bra is also completely seamless, for a smooth look under fitted tops, and, best of all, is feather-light. After two years of designing and tweaking, the IPEX bra will be available Tuesday in Victoria's Secret stores - when official spokesbabe Gisele will make an appearance, at 1:30 p.m., in Military Square in Times Square.

Update: Blah, blah, blah. They are milking this plot like a COW.

Update: Jack is in the building. He has no backup! He doesn't NEED backup! He's Jack Bauer!

Update: They found the bad terrorist thing! But they can't work it! They'll have to call Customer Support!

Update: They tried F5-SHIFT-ESCAPE. That did it!

Update: Humanity is saved! For now! But... the terrorist got away! Which means we have to watch again next week. If only for the Victoria's Secret ad.


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Sorry, Dave. I'd offer to shoot some people for you, but I don't think you'd hear about it 'till tomorrow on the evening news. Also, my neighbors don't seem to like it for some reason.

Could we get some more info on the bra?

What time does CSI Des Moines come on?

How many more people can they possible torture for no good reason while those who should be (Erin Driscoll, Erin Driscoll's daughter, DoDer, Jack, Tony etc) aren't?? Maybe that would put some pep in the show.


Everyone, if we all chip in a buck each, we can buy poor deprived Dave a TiVo!

That way when he's on the naked beach on Sint Maarten or at the world premier opening of his movie or whatever, he can still see his favorite shows and it can be programmed - easily! - days, weeks or months in advance.

Not that I'm jealous of Dave's lifestyle or anything. I mean, at least I have a TiVo. (A seventy HOUR TiVo!)

P'haps those of you watching on the eastern side of the country could tell us what happens, so that we could then proceed to win wagers for beer as to what will take place next, when the show finally reaches the western side of the country ... ?

(Is it Monday that I do not watch 24? I thought it was on Tuesdays that I did not watch it. Besides which, the play-by-play-shot-by-shot discussion here is much better than anything on TV.)

And how did Imhotep get from Egypt circa 1920s to LA 2005?

You know, 24 is the reverse of 42, which as we all know is a very meaningful number. Consequently, it occurs to me that 24 must stand for meaninglessness.

I kid you not.

Re the bra update: After two years of designing and tweaking


Oh, hey, man...how do ya get a job as a TWEAKER for Victoria's Secret? I'd just LOVE to have that on my resume.

And how did Imhotep get from Egypt circa 1920s to LA 2005?

Huh? 1920s?

Then I guess that they didn't do that good of a job mummifying her...........

Have you told the archeologists this bit of news yet?

*realizes he's probably making a comment on something he has no clue about.....but that's never stopped him before.....so why would it now?*

Dave, as a Miami resident I'd like to suggest that you channel these creative writing urges of yours. I know someone at the Herald, I could put in a word....?


(crying, yes crying at the loss of the weekly column.... but.... but.... I'm taking it like a man. No! I mean a mouse! well, sometimes a man, when the sheep are grazing)

IPEX???...WTF names a bra like a software plug-in?...they definitely need help at the bra naming department at Victoria's Secret!..any vounteers to help them?

What's next? Flash thongs??...

Well julie mi amor, let me explain, if IMAX is all about experiencing 3D to the edges of your peripheral vision, then maybe IPEX can be about surrounding large 3D objects pretty much the same way...

yeah well..whatever!...


The Sexist Blogger Award of the Evening goes to . . . D'Artagnan! Keep it up, er, I mean - oh, nevermind.

Dave, it seems like your creative side misses writing! This could have been a column, it was so good! Is this a good sign for the year after your hiatus?? We miss you!

Re: D'art's post: . . . then maybe IPEX can be about surrounding large 3D objects pretty much the same way...

Warning: Objects in the mirror may be smaller than they appear.

There was a great DB column about licking dogs in our sunday paper here in Utah. I don't know if it was from the the archives, but I didn't remember it ('course that doesn't mean anything, I can't remember what I had for breakfast). Anyway, I was pretty excited to see it, I can tell you!

Now see, if terrorist/office worker Imhotep (aka Arnold Vosloo) were to suddenly start leaking scarab beetles from his half-decayed eyesockets or cause giant sandstorms to overwhelm L.A., THEN this season would be a lot more interesting. And credible.

Notes on the show:

The love interest's husband was wearing an IPEX when Jack ripped his shirt open.

Head Terrorist Guy appears to be REALLY mad at ceiling tiles, if the shots he took at them this episode are any indication.

Jack came THIS close to shooting a guy playing Solitaire at work, but had enough good grace to point out that that red eight goes on the black nine before returning to look for Head Terrorist Guy.

What is it with people being "OK" with getting shocked on this show? First it was Sarah, now it's love interest's husband.... People shock 'em, and then they're AOK with helping out right after that.

Curtis kicked some serious butt this episode.

I'm telling you Dave, he could have used you for backup... If nothing else you would have given him a minute to relax as he would have someone else there with him to feel the intense reality of the moment.

*is glad the TV was more than an arm's length away, and thus too far away to turn on*

CSI Des Moines is on right after CSI Riverside: Special Education Unit.

CSI: Des Moines= Is disco semen ?

Also "decision mess."

Nothing to do with the blog--I just wanted to say I'm HOME!!!!!

Oh, and I hate time zones.

I'm anxiously awaiting the release of CSI: Environmental Division, where they inspect heaping piles of sewage left in waterways.

Welcome back, Bagh. And thanks.

Dave, I can't believe you didn't notice. Jack actually went to the bathroom during this episode! Yeah, up saving the world for 10 hours straight, and finally visits the restroom for...count 'em...10 seconds.

Not' --

Yeah, Welcome Home!!!

... tnx 4 everything ...

Second that welcome home "NOT"

Welcome back, NotinBaghdad!!

Welcome home!

So... did he SHOOT anybody last night? Come ooooonnnn. It's been WEEKS, hasn't it?

Yes, but at least he toastered Romantic Plot Device's husband! It was very satisfying, even with the bad acting!

I thought an Ipex was a goat like creature with big ole horns that lives somewhere on the plains and frequently becomes lunch for a pride of lions.

"the company says will make women’s breasts grow bigger within two weeks, as well as reducing their blood pressure and curing diabetes, the paper reported."

Curing diabetes ?! The breasts are nowhere NEAR the pancreas, folks.

Take it from a mother of a type I diabetic.

You know ... the padding in the center of the cup is VERY important ... when it's cold you can literally hang your car keys on my nipples. Although this makes for one hell of a party trick ... me thinks the "Ipex" will be my next purchase. :)

Punky, we have a gal here at work who is known for having "bionic nipples". Even when wearing a thick sweater, her headlights are on.

Someone suggested she's actually smuggling in peas, two at a time.

*snork* at smuggling peas

I tried the F5-SHIFT-ESCAPE and no nuclear reactors blew up. So clearly it works.

Steve- I actually have that song in my iPod now. I fear this says much about my mental stability...or lack thereof.

There's now a bra that can make your boobs bigger, lower blood pressure, and cure diabetes?? Holy toadsuckers Batman, can it cure cancer and bring about world peace too?

*Boobies for World Peace...wbagnfarb...*

The "day" started at 7am, right? This episode ended at 6pm. The meltdowns were averted just minutes before the end of the episode.

So Edgar literally saved the day at the 11th hour...



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